dd wishes she was more sporty

I know it's outside of school but what about

Lots of people start all these at different ages
The gym
Karate
Archery
Clay pigeon shooting
Walking - you know like racing while walking
Go karting
Horse riding
Darts
Rock climing
Indoor rock climbing
Gorge walking / caving

I was useless at sport in school. Turns out I just hadn’t found the right one. Now I compete internationally in hyrox. I agree with a pp. Youre the one holding her back because you want her to be a musician and that’s not what she wants. Take her to some sports clubs and let her try and find what she actually enjoys

I had a go at team sports but am too away with the fairies to be good at them. My head is very much not in the game. My best "sport" is crazy golf. 😀Tell her you can participate in sport or healthy activity and be fit without being good at team sport. I run, do yoga and lift weights. Good that she has friends who like different stuff and that they bond over other things.

If she struggles with coordination, I'd suggest avoiding team sports that have a moving ball - netball football etc. they are most common at school but also hardest to enjoy as a weaker player

Non-ball sports like running rowing cycling climbing skiing are much easier to enjoy as a beginner and at your own level.

16 would actually be relatively young to get in to rowing. Loads of people start at uni and plenty as adults.

C25k and parkrun?

I was hopeless at PE school at school, as in always got Es because the PE teachers refused to believe that I genuinely could not throw, catch or run... my DS is diagnosed dyspraxic (I think the apple landed close to the tree and is better at sport than me)
I did dance outside of school (badly, and I don't remember routines) and when that stopped I started adult beginners swimming for DoE.

I did my first 25m swmming at 16
I learnt to ride a bike at 19
I learned to run and complete 5k at 32

It's early days yet

16 is a good age to want to learn sport because the world of adult casual fitness is opening up. You can just go to the pool and do lengths or sign up to a karate class.

Teenage sport provison 11-16 is awful because the culture is predominantly to commit, specialise and get competitive, and for many people that just isn't fun and sets them up with negative associations with sport that are hard to get past. She's at the age where that's ceasing to be a restraint.

Honestly, it sounds like you're the problem. You took her out of swimming because she wasn't good enough and you wanted her to be musical, which doesn't seem to fit her personality. You're shouting down every suggestion. Do nice girls not have muscles or sweat in your head, and you're still going she'll become a sweet little pianist? She's old enough to join an adult team. Encourage her to do some research and go to a trial session. Almost every country, even ones with poor women's rights and infrastructure have some sort of sports club somewhere. They're normally welcoming and inclusive, nothing like PE.

Parkrun or something - running a couple/three times a week for 2months at her age should render her reasonably fit.
I missed out a lot in early twenties when people went swimming / played tennis /squash as I’d grown up in the country away from those opportunities. First thing get fitter.

Sport is one of those things that often become more enjoyable as you progress. So you need some perseverance to begin with and once fitter/better, you start to enjoy it more.
Not easy for a teen but very doable - if she can get over the fear of embarrassing herself to learn a new sport, she’ll definitely get more sporty over time.

I agree with some other posters Parkrun is a great place to participate.

Is she doing her Duke of Edinburgh? That's a good way to be outdoorsy without being good at sports.

Near me there is back to netball, this is aimed at beginners and could get her confidence up. I agree with the couch to 5k above, it would increase her confidence having improved general fitness I imagine.

I joined a Facebook one Go Mammouth you pay and turn up and are put in a team. Everyone can play to a decent standard but we are not top level by any means. Now have a nice team with drinks and dinner every few months. Been fab she should just do that.

My eldest DD hated sports and didn't think she was good at it. I was very surprised when she was in secondary school to find out she was doing all the sports on offer, she was falling asleep at the dinner table. She was doing about 10 extra curricular clubs in her lunchtimes and after school. When I questioned her she said 'I wasn't very good at sports so I decided to get better'. By the end of year 11 she got a distinction in PE and her PE teacher said she should do sports science at college. She didnt, she did performing arts and never wanted to do sports again! BUT she proved she could do it! I still can't understand why she went through all of that and we laugh about it now (she's 21 and doing a creative writing degree), she still hates sports!

The point is that anyone can do it if they want to!

If she wants to be better at sport then she needs to practice. It really is a lot about practices, way more than natural ability alone, as I see with my own children

Why have her friends not said to her “come along to training”?

She can definitely take up rowing at 16! Contact the local rowing club and get her down there!

Yes I’d suggest she gives rowing a go.
Other ones which tend to be welcoming are climbing and women’s softball cricket.
Could also do park run or orienteering

Ah bless her.

I've always been sporty and play to a decent level in a couple. I can assure her that the bast majority of sports clubs are very welcoming, sports like cricket, rugby and football are in their infancy for girls and women's teams at a mass participiation level so slways need new players and very few people have ever played before. There has been a massive push in funding for women's sport generally so there should be lots for her to do, it's hard the first time but she needs to be brave.

She can do sports outside of school for herself.
Swimming, running, cycling, martial arts, ice skating.
Has she tried rowing?
Badminton is a good sport which a lot of people find they can play ok

You mention she is friends with rowers and I was going to suggest rowing. Lots of people take it up later (many Olympians only start at university) and there is great camaraderie in the sport. My dyspraxic husband excelled at rowing despite being utterly useless at ball sports and many of his oldest friends are rowers.

Parkrun.

It doesn't matter how 'good' she is at it, and she'll see improvements month after month when she compares herself to herself.

She can start rowing at 16 surely, lots of people don't start until university. What about climbing? Anything where you just compete against yourself.

Would second triathlon, you don't need to be amazing at any of the sports and if you join a club then they'll coach. A lot of triathletes struggle with the swimming.

One of the things it's important to shift is that it's ok to do a sport and not be good at it. Teen sports are often intensely competitive with limited opportunities to do things for fun. That would be a great mindset to go into adulthood with if you can find something she enjoys.