Partner Freaked Out By Women Who Fart/Poo (so yes, all women)

Sounds good to me - he’s not subjecting you to the stink of his intestines multiple times per day then expecting you to be desperate to dive into bed with him in the way that lots of mumsnetters husbands do.

We're bringing boys up properly if we teach them that women don't poo? That's just weird. Please tell me you don't have sons.

How do you manage with, say, en suites when it can be impossible not to know that someone is pooing?

Why do you think it's so terrible for someone to know that you do what every single person on the planet does?

Men can't win? How's that? One man in particular is disgusted by the thought of women farting or defacating, to the point where his wife would be mortified if he found out she did either, and men can't win?

So because I’m not like you, I don’t know how relationships work? 🤣 how incredibly arrogant of you.

No, I just don’t want to be on eggshells around my partner, worried that if I fart he will be “disgusted” at my normal bodily functions. It’s the 21st century.

My DP has an IBD so toilet talk is not uncommon in my home. Even my bestie is comfortable with using the loo in front of me. People need to be able to be themselves without judgement.

An old pal of mine came out of a long term relationship and he said he was always in so much pain trying to hold gas in because his girlfriend was too prudish to allow farting. I mean ffs. I wouldn’t want to live like that, nor make someone else live like that.

Shit happens 😁

This topic comes up quite a bit on MN and it never fails to make me feel really bad about myself. Why does everyone on here find certain human bodily functions so disgusting? We are living biological matter not robots.

I have suffered with IBS and endometriosis for decades, I have developed small intestinal bacterial overgrowth as a result and I can blow up like a balloon at the drop of a hat. Farting is something I simply can not help doing, if I were to hold it in I would be in agony. Obviously I try to do it as quietly as possible and they don't smell but thankfully I have a great dh who totally understands my health issues and that passing gas is nothing to have a hissy fit over.

My dd also has IBS and I hope to god she finds herself an understanding partner.

I don't know anyone in RL who gets upset over farts and burps and toilet stuff, only on MN.

OP, if you say this is as a result of your dh's upbringing, what are his parents attitude to life in general, are they really uptight over most things, are they very sexist seeing you mention it's only women farting which he finds upsetting? He really could do with some therapy, things change over a lifetime.

Have you had children? How did you cope with that?

(labour, not the children themselves)

Not everyone follows through - I can't ever recall doing this, so this isn't about every woman is it?

When you were in labour, the baby presses against your colon hence you can poo. It's normal!

Your partner needs to see a therapist. Passing wind is normal if you have a healthy gut. My recommendation is to up your fruit intake to reduce bad odours but dont hold it in.

Seems as if men really can’t win on here. Deliberately burping and farting in front of other people, and finding it hilarious, is the kind of behaviour I’d expect from 5 year olds, rather than rational human beings. Someone on here even likened the behaviour to that of a dog. Each to their own, but I personally prefer the people I hang around with, to have some semblance of good manners.

Lol. Once you get to menopause age, you’ve got no choice but to let rip!

Mr DH can be a bit prudish about these things, but I ignore him and carry on. 😂

At least it's not just women, but men too who aren't allowed to.

I completely agree. Notwithstanding medical or childbirth reasons, I think it’s bad mannered to inflict this on other people.

I don't think it unreasonable to not want to be in a room smelling faecal matter.

As you get older, even getting up out of a chair sometimes you will trump, you don't even feel it either so no way of stopping it. Fortunately, I live alone so no one is likely to ever hear me.

My nan used to do it when she got up out of a chair, as kids, we just laughed.

Just be glad you don't have any bowel issues like my friend who has IBD, she can't help it and they can be spectacularly pungent as well as noisy.

Tbh I would find it a turn off if a partner farted or took a shit infront of me. Likewise, I don’t infront of them either.
Yes everyone does it but there’s nothing stopping you from going into another room or the bathroom to let one rip.

I dont care for people farting and burping in my company. I have brought my children up to aim to avoid doing so. I am like that with most bodily functions. Not because I am a prude, nor does it "repulse" me. I just prefer for certain things to be kept private.

I have been married 29 years dh doesnt as a matter of cause fart or burp in front of me. Obviously it has happened and he apologises and we move on. (And visa versa)

I think it poor manners to do so deliberately in front of others. I don't find it amusing or funny. Yes it's a "normal" body function but so is peeing and pooping and I dont do that in front of others either.

I dont know your dh needs therapy op. I mean if he is genuinely repulsed to the point of not coping yes he does. However if
you more used the word as a way of describing dislike and him expressing he dislikes it. Then it's merely a matter of different views his is not more right or wrong than yours (and visa versa)

Edited for spelling

Exactly I have bowel issues and it would be impossible for me not to fart. My darling husband has also helped 'clear up' after me when I've had bowel issues.

his parents were exceptionally strict about farting/burping and he used to get in lots of trouble for it

That's why.

I've been married 40 years. Never farted in front of my husband and never heard him fart. (Obviously we know each other do fart and poo)

I was going to post that! “Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!”

There seems to be a dichotomy on this thread between “farts and other bodily functions are hilarious and should be enjoyed at all times” and “farts and other bodily functions are mortifying and we should pretend we don’t have them” Surely most people are in between? I wouldn’t purposely fart in front of DH or think it funny, but I wouldn’t be mortified if I did by accident and I wouldn’t expect him to be disgusted. We are all human.

There should be basic politeness - not farting deliberately in public and endeavouring to keep bodily functions private if you can help it, but it is very unhealthy (physically or mentally) to be so uptight about natural bodily functions.

If he thinks women don't/shouldn't fart I guess he has never been to a yoga class then !😆

I was brought up by a magical non farting or burping mother. Father much less Methodist and horrified, and would excuse himself without drama if something slipped out and go about his business. Which I think has to be the way to go.

It surely isn't possible for neither of you to have heard each other fart or burp for eight years? Never farted on his leg in bed? You must sleep with one eye open after a cauliflower cheese.

I still worry about one slipping out because he’d be totally disgusted and I’d be mortified

I don't go around lifting a cheeky and chortling at myself like something out of Viz, but especially as you get older and things relax in that department, it is going to happen inadvertently here and there and mortification and disgust is no way to live.

It's going to happen at some point, you've just managed to extend that early bit of dating where you're trying to pretend you don't fart or have to do a poo ever out over eight years. Nobody really enjoys that bit, do they? Trapped wind is very painful.

I’ve been with DP thirteen years and I’ve never heard him burp or fart. I would describe him as quite a repressed individual generally, though.

I try not to fart in public but I have no qualms about it in my own home, and neither do our dogs. So he gets plenty of exposure therapy here. We eat beans and legumes every day so I’ve no idea how he keeps it all in!