Partner Freaked Out By Women Who Fart/Poo (so yes, all women)

Yeah. He would benefit from some therapy about this. It sounds like some unresolved childhood trauma.

While your husband sounds a bit extreme, so does your SIL.

My ex was like this. He was uptight over so much shite, l couldn't stand it.

I'm married now and DH and I have farting competitions with seven different criteria that they are judged on.

Life should be as fun as you can make it.

too late. Poo was involved and he won't talk about it.

OP he needs therapy. I don't love to fart in front of anyone, and while i don't mind a wee if it's urgent, i won't do any other toilet business in front of anyone. But he is ridiculous.

We used to have an enema so that poo was not pushed out with the baby but I understand this has now changed. I remember reading of Victorian childbirth that the mother should be encouraged to poo at the start of labour - where she would be attended by her mother and a midwife unless things went badly.
I think you DP needs therapy. People fart all the time, and as the poem says 'Celia shits' - and when one has had a couple of children farting becomes less easy to control.
Most of us laugh about it. Even the dead! On a table tomb I saw: 'wherever you be let the wind blow free, not doing so was what killed me'.

I remember seeing my exH frantically gesturing and mouthing “there’s poo!” at the midwife, bless him. I was in the birthing pool and in a fair amount of pain but I was fully aware I’d done it 🤣

Because they are totally natural events sometimes not under our control. He has unrealistic ideas about what women are and it must be a strain for the OP. Also, it's an unhealthy attitude to pass on to children.

Maybe he is careful with his diet. And maybe he only does that when he's on his own. He probably even feels embarrassed when alone.

What is this gung-ho attitude, this sort of WC-humour which is a badge of honour/being cool? ... 😶

How on earth has he managed 8 years without farting in front of you? Or vice versa?! It sounds unhealthily tense and unnatural. YANBU at all.

It's not his fault. He really really can't help it. I am a little bit the same. I can't even hear the words said out loud or frankly read them.

This is something that comes at a critical stage of childhood development.

Why would you force him? Don't shame him because of this. Just let him be, bless him.

Protect him. He's your husband. :( I don't know that posting to the whole world about his shame is really very nice. What, for everyone to show how much they love ... and don't have a problem with it? And say what an idiot he is and how he should laugh and not care? It is something so private. Poor guy.

Give it a few years and it'll be out of your hands.

I swear I hit 40 and my body just stopped giving zero fucks. I'll literally just be standing there and a fart will just spontaneously come out, without any control over it by me!
Yesterday I was walking to my car after work, and it was like a mini trumpet was following me. A little fart with every step!

I'm kind of with him on the burping though. Those people who let out those long rippling burps... You absolute troglodyte.

I've been with my partner for 15 years and I've farted in front of him once which was recently, I'm heavily pregnant and needed a wee when he was in the bath and the longest fart ever erupted from me. He didn't know what to do with himself 😂 he did laugh though I don't think he'd find it funny if I regularly popped one out around him.. he also doesn't fart around me. He doesn't make a deal of it to our dd (10) though as she's like a little machine gun regularly. Some people just don't like it. I was made fun of and berated for it as a kid and it's stuck with me so I don't do it in front of people.

Start by celebrating and enjoying your kids farts.
singing poo songs during potty training etc.
making sure they are not so inhibited .

I don’t think you can do much to shift his opinions, but you can make sure your kids are comfortable with how their bodies work.
and know there is no shame.

How have you managed not to fart in front of him? I fart in front of DH daily.

I think that's different. When someone can't help something it's not bad manners. For me it's the intentional pushing out the loudest fart or intentionally forcing out the biggest burp instead of doing it quietly. If there is a medical reason for sounds and smells, that's fine - but I have come across people that just do it as it's funny and to me that's slobby

I don't sit and do intentionally in front of anyone, but if you think I'm getting up and walking upstairs to the bathroom every time I need to fart (I'm not a burper unless I guzzle a load of fizzy pop quickly!) - forget it. Just do it, discreetly, and say 'excuse me' if anyone is there. Obviously not while anyone is eating etc.

I think there's a big difference between making into a big event, which I find a bit minging most of the time, or being discreet and polite but aware that is a very normal bodily function.

Dear god this!

I can literally fart with every step I'm taking, and no, there really isn't anything you can do.

My mum was quite hung up on this (I never even knew fart was a word until I started senior school) but I became an adult and made my own choices.

I mean, deliberately farting is not on but everyone does it!

Yeah mine dont smell if I cut out bread.

This might be rather naive, but I am assuming the degree to which 'wind'/bowel movements are noisy and smelly depends rather on your diet and gut health,

If you live off burgers, kebabs and takeaways the odour will probably be rather more noisome, than if you have a good mixed diet.

If you're in the latter group, the noise from someone breaking wind or the odour after they've opened their bowels will be pretty minor. Partners who are relaxed in each company will accept this as just what bodies do.

There's a difference between not wanting to intentionally fart or use the loo in front of your partner, and what the OP is describing which is "the concept that women fart/poo". The latter is just bonkers.

There was a thread recently where people were debating whether or not they fart in front of their partners. I'm team don't do it intentionally/leave the room if you can, but also it's a perfectly natural bodily function and of course in a long term relationship you're going to do it in front of one another from time to time.

He definitely needs therapy. It's not normal. When my dd was primary age when she exercised she faryed every time. It became a family joke and she laughed at herself. No embarrassment because none is needed.

I'd be having a conversation along the lines of what you've said here OP

I know you have an issue with farting and burping, and I understand that it's a hangover from your childhood. I have no wish to deliberately fart or burp in front of you, and enjoy the fact that we are private in our bodily functions. But the reality is that at some point I will because I am a human. It's getting to the point where I am feeling anxious about the day that this happens and your reaction and so I think we need to address the elephant in the room.

The average person farts between 13 and 21 times a day. It's nature. It's science - and no matter how unsavoury you find that, you can't fight it. And more importantly, neither can I. So whilst I will continue to try and respect your feelings and maintain the status quo, I cannot continue to worry about it as I am at the moment. I need you to understand that it will happen and that it's not a big deal for 99% of couples. If you are really uncomfortable with that, it might be worth you talking to me or someone else about why it disgusts you so much and how we can address the fact that we are both humans with normal bodily functions.

Same.
I’m more like your DH too tbh OP
I like my own bathroom and it wouldn’t even be in the same house if I had the money 😁
We’re all different.

@ThatNavyGoose

oh and why does your SIL burp all the time?? Gross

Read The Lady's Dressing Room, a poem by Jonathan Swift.
A man is infatuated by a woman and sneaks into her room, where he finds evidence that she is fully human (tweezers, smelly clothes etc), including her chamber pot. Celia shits!!
He is horrified and it completely colours his view of all women.
It's hilarious, and I'm sure your DH would relate.