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Original poster

To find it hard to leave tips in restaurants these days?

61 replies

RubyFlax · 05/03/2025 21:04

Went for a nice meal out this week with DH, to a restaurant we’ve not tried before. Food was really nice, atmosphere and service both good. All in all a lovely time.
However am I the only one who finds it hard to leave a tip these days?
I know some places will add a service charge to the bill… no issue with this (assuming the meal / service has not been a disaster), but many others do not, and I’ve found a number of times, as happened this week, the server will just hold out the card machine for you to tap contactless with the amount already on, with no mention of a tip, and no way to add it yourself as you can’t see the screen / are not holding the card reader.
What do you do in these instances ? Ask the server to amend the amount / add a tip?
Like a lot of people we hardly ever have cash on us, and often pay for stuff via Apple Pay on phone so I don’t have cash I can leave on the table afterwards.
Interested to know what others do as I feel a bit bad for not leaving one this week. Should I be verbally stating I want to add a tip before they hold out the card machine (in my opinion a bit awkward) or should I be making sure I’ve taken some cash out to leave as a tip !?
I used to work in hospitality/ waitressing as a teenager & know how appreciated tips are so it doesn’t sit right with me to not leave anything.
In the UK by the way, as I know tipping culture varies by country!

OP posts:
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Brefugee · 06/03/2025 09:25

Stealthmodemama · 05/03/2025 22:25

I suspect if you pay extra on the card the servers wont see the tip

ask them.

Brefugee · 06/03/2025 09:24

It is no issue for me. If I'm paying by card i ask them if the staff get the tips if i add the amount to the card machine. They are always happy to cancel and re-enter the amount if that is the case.

If they say they don't get the tips, then i either give it to them in their hand, add it to the tip jar or leave it on the table, depending on situation.

Whammyyammy · 06/03/2025 09:08

We tip. But if thr bill has a service charge I don't, or ask for it to be removed then tip.

Oneearringlost · 06/03/2025 09:02

I had the opposite of finding it hard to tip last week.
We went to a pub for a meal. You order your food and drinks at the bar and take your drinks with you back to the table, along with a round buzzer that goes off when it's ready to collect from the bar.
The card reader was presented to me after I placed the order and asked for a 5, 10 or 20% tip ( tbf, also a "No Thanks" option).
There were no waiting staff, and it was asked for BEFORE any food was consumed.
So the food could have taken ages to come, the food could have been poor or cold, and you have been put into an awkward position.
I will tip if the service/food is good, but beforehand?... that riled me a bit.

deeahgwitch · 06/03/2025 08:46

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 05/03/2025 21:20

Take cash and give it to them that way

This.

Riversidegirl · 06/03/2025 07:27

Money and sex. Two conversations that are the most difficult for people.

Bonsaibaby · 06/03/2025 07:02

I’m going to start always having cash, because when I’ve asked them if they get the tip off the card they say yes but there’s something that makes me think they’ve been told to say that! Also twice recently splitting the bill, only one of us could pay the tip, computer said no to another one (might have been user error).

InsegnanteScozzese · 06/03/2025 06:54

Nanny1983 · 05/03/2025 21:44

My dd works in a well known restaurant and she gets to keep any tips in cash given to her to take home that night but if they pay card or add to the bill she gets a percentage in her wages and has to share the rest of her tip with the kitchen .

Give a tip in cash especially if the service has been lovely from a certain member of staff .

I would much rather my tip got shared equitably amongst the staff.

MayaPinion · 06/03/2025 05:54

I pretty much don’t tip anymore. Service is usually included in the bill these days. I haven’t carried cash for a few years now. I don’t even a purse these days. Just a card holder.

QueSyrahSyrah · 06/03/2025 05:52

Yes we just say 'Can you make it £X please?' when they come over with the card reader.

There's a small restaurant chain near us that has banned tipping altogether in a big 'We pay a living wage' campaign. It's irrationally put me right off the place. I don't care if you're paying £100 an hour, if the waiting staff have enhanced my evening and the kitchen staff have made amazing food then I'd like to thank them for it at MY discretion.

verycloakanddaggers · 06/03/2025 05:44

How often do you eat out? You could go to the bank, ask for a stack of fivers, use them for tips.

I agree it is marginally more annoying than it used to be but it is so easy to solve by either asking to add a tip or taking some cash.

littleducks · 06/03/2025 05:38

I don't think the business's keeping card tips happens anyone, I started asking when ordering if tips were passed on when it was in the news years ago. At that point some places weren't paying them on but on last couple years everyone has said oh yes of course straight off. There is far more likely to be a service charge on bill too. Do I don't find it hard and funny have you faff with cash which I haven't carried since COVID

TempestTost · 06/03/2025 00:59

I've had this recently at the hair dresser. I used to get an option to add tip, now it doesn't seem to.

I wondered if that salon decided they didn't want people to tip any more, for some reason.

But if it's happening elsewhere maybe it is some change in the technology?

TempestTost · 06/03/2025 00:45

Nanny1983 · 05/03/2025 21:44

My dd works in a well known restaurant and she gets to keep any tips in cash given to her to take home that night but if they pay card or add to the bill she gets a percentage in her wages and has to share the rest of her tip with the kitchen .

Give a tip in cash especially if the service has been lovely from a certain member of staff .

Why wouldn't you want the kitchen staff to get tips?

Doesn't it piss them off if the wait staff don't tip them out? They can make it difficult for a waiter to do a good job if they want.

livelovelough24 · 05/03/2025 23:41

MudpiesinEssex · 05/03/2025 23:13

Why?

Show quote history

Do not need it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/03/2025 23:18

I tip from my Emergency Cash. I have always, for about 40 years now, carried cash-which-is-not-to-be-touched in a separate purse.

In days of old, this consisted of 2p/10p coins for phoneboxes (remember them?), 20p coins for the expensive loos in the train station I commuted through, and a fiver for a taxi home.

I still carry 20p coins, a fiver and a tenner. We ate out yesterday; same scenario as yourself, card reader held out with no ability to add a tip, so my Emergency Tenner was deployed Grin.

I'll top up sometime in the next week to replace it.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 05/03/2025 23:18

RubyFlax · 05/03/2025 22:30

Ok thanks for the replies. I can see I’m just going to have to ask them to add x amount before they even hold the card reader out, if I can get in there quick enough. If not ask them to alter the amount and add a tip.
I just feel it makes the whole interaction awkward and I don’t really want to discuss a tip or ask to leave one, I just want to be able do it! I.e like when they used to hand you the card reader and it would say “add gratuity” or similar and you could select a percentage.

Cash is really not practical. I literally never have it on me. Even parking these days is paid by card or app. We are semi rural and I’d have to drive a few miles out of my way to even find a cash machine. The restaurant we went to was a couple of villages away and no cash machines enroute / nearby.

And before you know it, there will be no cash and we will all be paying to use our cards

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 05/03/2025 23:15

I always ask the person if the staff get the tips. If they do I will tip cash (normally) rather than adding it to the total.

MudpiesinEssex · 05/03/2025 23:13

livelovelough24 · 05/03/2025 22:55

I never have cash with me.

Why?

Moveoverdarlin · 05/03/2025 23:11

Always leave cash.

ThinWomansBrain · 05/03/2025 23:09

stopped at a cafe for lunch last week - nothing flashy, but the food and service were great, and we'd had a lovely day anyway.
We'd ordered and had our mains and some wine, then got coffees separately - each time the staff were very weird about accepting a tip, it was bizarre.

madgreenlemons · 05/03/2025 23:05

This sounds quite unusual to me. Most places I've been to in recent past have made it only too easy to tip via card machine via a yes/no option or very often service just automatically included. Only place I sometimes struggle to find a way to tip is the hairdresser. So I try to plan ahead and have a bit of cash on me. Just for that and the tooth fairy. I don't use cash for anything else!

Original poster
RubyFlax · 05/03/2025 23:03

livelovelough24 · 05/03/2025 22:55

Where I live (not UK), you add tip on the machine. When they hand over the machine it is already showing tip options. All this should go under the servers name so they know who got how much tip. My ex worked in the industry and I know that every restaurant is different. Some let a server keep their own tip. Some pool tip and then give percentages to kitchen, bartender and the rest to servers, but in some instances, owners kept the tip for themselves. 😩

Exactly this! This is how it used to be on most card readers in the UK. Now it seems it’s not given as an option - they just hold it out for you to tap without being given the option of adding a gratuity (unless you then verbally ask to leave one and get them to amend the amount due)

OP posts:
Original poster
RubyFlax · 05/03/2025 22:56

suburberphobe · 05/03/2025 22:30

the server will just hold out the card machine for you to tap contactless with the amount already on, with no mention of a tip, and no way to add it yourself as you can’t see the screen / are not holding the card reader.

You have a voice don't you?

FFS sake woman. Speak up and ask for an itemised bill and then you can add a tip.
Then they will bring out the card machine.

But why should I have to ask. That’s my point… is it becoming harder to tip ? Yes!
We had an itemised bill. I saw service wasn’t included. When she came back past with the card reader she just held it straight out for me to tap with the amount already in.
It would make it much easier to tip if
a) service was included or
b) the card reader was handed to you with “add gratuity?” option like it often used to be.

But yes “FFS” I’ll have to “use my voice” as you say, and when she immediately holds the card reader out I’ll tell her I want to add a tip so she can take the card reader back, amend the amount and then hold it out again, making the whole interaction more hassle than it needs to be.

OP posts:
livelovelough24 · 05/03/2025 22:55

I never have cash with me.