To hate holiday with baby

Took my kids away from 18 months.
Flights no longer than 2 3 hours.
Spain mostly.

Fucking mental doing long haul with a baby.

Ah you poor thing. We flew a lot with our LO but never more than 3 hours. And the "holidays" were always exhausting, and occasionally involved seeking medical attention for the kind of shit that happens when you're abroad (infected bug bite). Still mostly enjoyed the trips though.

Give the baby to your DH to take for a walk and have a bath or a long shower. Try some simple yoga stretches for your back. Get something lovely to eat.

If it really had to be done to visit family then they are right about the 6m Vs 12m IMO, sorry.
Walk
I found holidaying with a fine baby (6w) easy, a 10m old challenging but fun, a 2yo horrendous and then it started to get better after 3ish.

I wouldn't have wanted to do a long haul flight but it I had, I'd choose a non mobile baby any day! Once they can move they don't sit still, will want to explore the aisles for the entire flight, climb over the seats, sleep less, are less tolerant of noise/stuff going on round them on top of the issues you have now.

It's hard but I think you've made the right choice. Hopefully it'll feel better in a day or two and the sunshine will help.

The flights are the worse. I did a 10 hour flight with my then 6month old to the Maldives 6 years ago but as soon as I walked through our villa, I was a happy bunny. I, DH and baby napped for a bit and then chilled and then went to dinner and we were back in routine. Return journey was much better despite it being during day time and jet lag. Once it's over, you'll have lovely photos to look through.

For a slightly different viewpoint….

I took my eldest on a 8h then 13h flight, several 1-4h internal flights and then 24h back home again when she was 4ish months. Like you it was to visit friends and family. If your loved ones are a long way away you can’t ’just go to Spain instead’ like others have suggested.

On day 1, tired and jet lagged, I felt like you…. But honestly we had the best time. It was so special that people we love and don’t see enough of were able to meet her as a baby. Also (sorry) it’s so much harder once they can move!! Get some rest, let your husband do the lion’s share, see if people can come to you instead of travelling to see them, and stop beating yourself up.

Don t go long haul with a baby! No point. Stick to local and fairly cheap (Eg Spain or France) and save the big hols for later !

Yanbu. We didn’t go on a proper holiday with children until the youngest was almost 4. Before then it was just a week somewhere in the UK and even then it was just a change of scene rather than a holiday, because actually things are much easier at home with routine. Never, ever would I have gone abroad for a holiday with a baby, especially on a long flight. Hope you can make the best of it.

It was a 10 HOUR FLIGHT!

I'd be amazed if the OP was still sane! If you're going to go on holiday with a baby a 3 hour flight would be just about doable. Otherwise stay in the UK!

I've travelled with my baby long haul since he was 4 months but I always travelled a lot before he was born and I spent ages prepping and planning to make things as smooth as possible (and spending too much on travel pushchairs). I love it but my parents came with me most times and my mum certainly wouldn't have chosen to do that with us as babies. She hates travelling anyway - it's definitely not for everyone.

Point is it is hard and you have to be 100% committed really as the primary parent or it does feel so hard and your DH should have listened to you.

Now you're there though I see it as it's the same stuff but with a much nicer view - I was still up at 5am but I got to open the shutters and watch the sun rise over the sea. We still had tantrums but he'd calm down with a walk on the beach. It was still breastfeeding but I was warm and had a beautiful view and a mocktail in hand 🙂

Same shit different view was how I felt about holidays until the kids were about 9

I said to DH when our kids were little that I'm not taking them anywhere where we will get jetlag until they're of an age that they would just read in their rooms rather than come and wake me up if they can't sleep. (They're nearly 13 now and all I can say is, any day now... it's really something to have to walk a kid back to bed who is actually taller than you!)

Aww 💐

Many of us have been in your position. It’s not a holiday with a baby unless you are one of a tiny minority who brings their nanny along.

Do whatever it takes to make the trip as easy as possible. Throw some money at it if it helps. If any relatives or friends might be amenable to helping out in some way, ask them. They can only say no.

Also ask your husband to manage relatives expectations and keep visits relatively short.

I hear you OP! We took our DC to the Caribbean to visit family for their first holiday when they were 6 months old. With DD1 the jet lag was horrific and if she wasn’t keeping us awake, the bloody cockerels were.
with DD2 the plane journey was the worst, and we also had a toddler to deal with.
Both times it was shitty at the time, but I do have lovely memories now. You will look back and laugh… or smile at least!

I didn't take my child abroad until he was 4.5 yrs. I couldn't be bothered with the hassle. No regrets. I feel for you.

Hang on - holiday or introducing baby to family?

@Greenwich869 a 10 hour flight with a six month old baby????? I am amazed your dh was able to walk off the plane! I would have killed him if it was me with a baby!

Was a 10 hour flight with a 6 month old reallyyyyy necessary? I think that’s the main issue, you should have gone somewhere with a shorter journey, like Spain.

I took DD1 on a long road trip when she was 5 months old and again at 12 months at the behest of exH. In between, there was a four hour plane trip (8 hours round trip), and subsequently there were other trips by plane.

She did not remember these travels at all. Not the airports, the planes, the beaches, the hiking, the visiting of grandparents, the cafes or restaurants or hotels or pools. Her first memory of travel was a trip when she was four. It was all new and exciting to her.

There is absolutely no need to 'get babies used to travel'. It's just pointless work for the mother, who is the only one getting used to it.

The way to train kids to get used to travel is to teach them to behave well for long stretches, to amuse themselves and not need you to entertain them, to come to you when you call them, and to behave politely and be quiet in restaurants or cafes. You do not have to schlep them miles from home to achieve any of this.

We went to the Maldives last year when our daughter was 6 months, also EBF. It was fab once we got over the first day. Husband took the baby between feeds so I could sunbathe and have uninterrupted time to myself. 2 hours between feeds is fine, just get him to bring baby back and take away again. Must be a kids club to take baby to for some toys etc so they can play together. Evenings should be lovely. My baby was a contact napper so slept in the sling during our dinner and then woke up just before the third course, so it did feel relaxing. You’ll be fine, you’re on holiday, it’s an adjustment but you will have a lovely time.

Oh my - I feel for you. If I were you I’d be carving out some alone time with immediate effect (appreciate your breastfeeding) but I would even lie and say you feel ill or something - anything to get away by yourself even if it’s in the bathroom!

after the holiday I would also be booking some things for myself - even if it’s a local salon. Treat yourself after this experience but in the mean time try to breathe and make the most of being away

Holiday with a baby and long flight = not a holiday. We did a trip with ours to Italy; that was ok as it involved gentle sightseeing but we were very sleep deprived. Beach/sunbathing would have been a nightmare. Beach with a small child is generally a nightmare (eat sand, cry because of sand, try to crawl off etc). It gets better...

I can only suggest the OP Googles places in Europe with an excellent crèche (for when baby is a little older) and insists husband books this kind of holiday next time so you get a few hours of downtime each day. I recommend Mousses Lefkada or Ikos resorts for this purpose.

Hmm, I loved holidays with my baby but I think the trick is to book something with the child in mind. So not long haul overnight flights. Sleep deprivation is the worst though, I hope things get better when you have some sleep. I'd definitely let DH have the baby for at least a few hours.

breath.
in/out til lull self into(false)calmness.Especially round baby.
its time limited.change holiday to "destination experience" If you have one good minute-focus on that. goodluck x

Absolutely agree with every word of this.