To hate holiday with baby

With the time difference it will have thrown out your babies routine. Personally I stayed in the uk until they were older I didn’t want the hassle of flight delays and them not coping with heat etc. Your there now I would try and enjoy it. A shorter flight may make it more manageable next time.

10 hour flight?? What were you thinking?? Absolutely maximum 2 hour flight til they’re about 3, then I’ve kept it max 4 hour flight til littlest turned 6, then we did a long haul. I hate holidays wuth under threes anyway. They’re unsettled and usually hate the heat. Honestly I would stay in the UK until he’s at least 2.

With a 6 month old I wouldn’t have considered flying 10 hours.

Maybe a short flight to somewhere sunny then a week of just relaxing together ( as far as that’s possible with a baby). I’m afraid you were too ambitious in your plans.

Bit of an exaggeration. Tiring and stressful sure, but “seriously horrific”? lol. Everything has to be extreme these days.

FK off with that stupid idea. You clearly have no idea about mental health problems, lack of sleep or jet lag.

Oh op this doesn't sound fun or like a holiday all. Long haul travel is exhausting enough but if you are still bf a 6 mo them it's no surprise you are exhausted. Plus, instead of all that travel in order to flop out on a sun lounger you are in fact visiting family.....which is also exhausting to do with a baby even without the long haul.

Take it easy for the first couple of days, tell dh you need to rest and he can support. I hope you feel a bit better once the jet lag eases.

Oh god so it's not even a holiday is it? It's a duty visit to family involving everyone wanting to hold the baby and talk and entertain you and you can't even just do your own thing. But the fact that it's a family visit means you need to suck it up and not hate your DH over making you do it.

I never bothered with abroad holidays until kids were6/8 as it didn't sound fun. but yes if you spend the whole time miserable you are spoiling it for yourself and your family. Suck it up and make an effort.

I'm so sorry OP. We didn't travel until ours was about 14 months and by that point it was a breeze but there is no way I would have done it before 1 (we also only had a 1 hour flight with no jet lag so that obviously massively helped!). Hopefully you'll build some lovely memories regardless and look back on this time as stressful but joyful nonetheless.

Keep going.

OP I still sometimes feel like this and my DC are teens. I’d take others advice and leave him with the baby for a few hours at least.

@Greenwich869 you are unhappy because travelling with babies IS totally shit. I did it a lot with both of mine when they were small because we live on a different continent to family. I utterly loathe travelling with babies whereas toddlers are so much easier - you can bribe them with chocolate buttons for one. And two, they are potty trained. Hang in there and know that you’re not wrong to be finding this crappy. I found it got so much better at about 2 years old…

This is just blaming the OP.

Did the people suggesting a short-haul holiday not read the part where the OP is visiting family 🙄

YANBU OP. We flew long-haul with our first at that age (also to visit family), brought ALL THE THINGS with us on the flight and she was absolutely fine. We really thought we were experts. Did the same again with Baby Number 2 and she screamed so hard from the moment we arrived at the airport, that we were asked whether she needed a doctor . The first few days were not much fun but it DID improve.

Hang in there (and ignore those who are being judgey and clearly have no experience of this special kind of sleep-deprived hell).

Crikey you sound like hard work. Yes, flights with kids are miserable but it sounds like your husband was keen to take your baby to meet family (his, by any chance?) That sounds like a really valuable thing to do.
Jet lag improves quite quickly if you try to get into the local routine. It. sounds like he is trying hard. You can either wallow and spoil the holiday or try to have fun.
And I say this as someone who regularly traveled with multiple small kids at once from an early age.

All of this. It's not a holiday, it's visiting family. As someone who has moved countries a couple of times, you just have to deal with it. SHIT as it is. And it's not relaxing or fun.

Just try to relax. The more you relax, the more relaxed your baby will be, especially as they’re EBF.

Your friends and family are right, travelling with a 12 month old is significantly harder than a 6 mth old EBF baby.

I have travelled regularly with both of mine since they were born as I live for my holidays and I’ve always found it to be great. They’ve always done really well travelling and in new environments and that’s probably because I’ve been super relaxed around them. More relaxed than at home in fact.

I committed the cardinal sin didn't I! Sorry for not rtft.

TEN hours! Could he not have suggested Spain for a first attempt! I hated holidays with a baby, all the shit you have to take with you and then worrying about sterilising and all that with my first who was formula fed. Slightly easier with second who was breast fed but still a pain. And the sun cream. And worrying if they're too got/too cold. You are not alone! But you need to try and make the most of it now, it will get better.

This is put so well, really helpful advice about reframing.

Honestly, the number of posters on here saying that leaving the continent with a baby is madness astonishes me.

Strength. 🩷

My family live on a different continent and DH's were at the other end of the UK until recently so we traveled regularly with babies and now young children. First of all, it's not a holiday, it's traveling to see family and let them meet your baby and refresh their relationship with you and DH. I have at no point thought "it sounds so relaxing and fun to put my family through multiple flights and hours in a rental car so we can go sit in 42° heat in some tiny town in America" but I have thought that between DH and I we can manage to travel to visit my family and it's worth it to me to put in that work to continue to be a connected, active part of my family despite living so far away. I'm absolutely not trying to tell you off or scold you here, but I really think it helps to reframe it as something that you're trying to accomplish as a couple for a meaningful purpose because the evaluation scale is different than if it's just something you're doing for pure enjoyment.

Either way that evaluation scale comes in after the trip. All you've done so far is the miserable work to get to the visit and you're exhausted and so is your baby so every awful thought and feeling is cranked up to eleven. If two hours is the absolute longest your baby can go feeding then have DH pack them up in a pram or carrier and head out for two hours while you shower and sleep. Eat something. Do some stretching to help your back. Figure out what your DH can do to make things a little bit better right in this moment, and what you can do as a team to get baby to settle a bit.

Well it is done now so unfortunately you will have to make the best of it but this does not sound like a holiday but your DH persuading you to travel on a 10 hour flight to visit family. Is it your family or his? Personally I would be telling him this will not be happening again until your child is much older. While you are away leave the baby with your DH as much as possible so you can catch up on rest. Hopefully your baby will settle soon.

this

It’s easy to say “he has to do it on the way home” but OP has said baby is being clingy. So if baby just wants her and can see and smell her and is crying, then it’s really hard to just leave them with their Dad!