To hate holiday with baby

My baby is nearly 1. 3 close friends spent a lot of their maternity leave travelling with baby - I honestly don’t know how they did it and they have all said it was “amazing”.

My idea of a nightmare but we all know ourselves.

You are there now, relax. Make DH do a lot of the work whilst you take a nap or ease into it. It sounds like he is trying to make it work but from my experience, we as the mum always take on the stress of it all.

I do hope it is enjoyable overtime. I also hope it’s a lasting memory that you will have great stories from (even if they are frustrating). At least you know baby holidays arnt your thing and you can suggest somewhere closer next time.

Good luck

Reasonable from you, thepartingoftheways.
Sorry OP. Hope your trip improves.

There's a very good reason holidays are free until they are two.......because it isn't a holiday for anyone, just the same old work, somewhere less convenient!

Glad to hear your update and hope things are looking better today . But just to say about your remark at hating to hear him cry . Don't get overly upset about it . It is one of the few ways he can communicate and you will know the difference between his cries. Sometimes he might cry because he is pissed off , his foot itches , he can't reach something , not because he is extremely distressed. And it is OK . Attend to his needs of course but you will stress yourself out if you try to ever have him cry . PS : It does get easier. 💐

That would be fine if you'd only mentioned her, instead of unconsensually deciding the pain of everyone else in that situation was yours to use as you wished.

As for OP, given that one person on this thread has asked her if she has mental health problems it rather reads like she's being polite. I hope she's enjoying her holiday now, and is simply shrugging off the nastier remarks.

I have a relative in this position. I know for a fact she is grateful when people consider her. I will co-opt & highlight the reasons for her feelings as much as I see fit to do so.

OP is fine now & has thanked EVERYONE for their posts. I assume this includes mine 😊

@Greenwich869 I read your op and feel real sympathy! But I'm laughing at some of the replies on here becuase I posted a similar question regarding my then baby (9months old) and travel last year on AIBU and the majority of replies were very much to just 'deal with it' and travelling with babies is 'fine' 😂im so glad your not getting roasted like I did. Or maybe et has got kinder!
And no I haven't changed my mind I'm not planning to take my 16month abroad anytime soon. Travelling with babies and toddlers has got to be the worst.
Wishing you much strength over the coming weeks and journey back!
Just to reassure you my baby did snap right back into routine when we got home so hopefully yours will too!

This was us, much easier if a baby isn't always napping in crib routine.

As regards an earlier point OP made - my 6 month old wasn't on 2 hourly feeds. Was bf but was well past the 2 hour stage

It’s parenting but warmer. I’ve just come back from 25 degrees sunshine with my 3 and 1 yo. A week of not wrapping up, no rain, playing in the pool and at least 3 ice creams a day! Bliss.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3rdwx4yx12o.amp

I was talking holidays in this case. If you are from the UK your wee ones will certainly not be used to 30 plus heat. Visiting relatives I can understand.
I stand by my selfish statement!

I used to think the same thing then I had my own kids and realised that I hadn't changed as a person, I was still someone who likes travelling and there was no need to give that up ☺️

I love travelling with my children (four and 10 months currently) and we have two abroad holidays booked this year.

Just read your update - that's positive. It will be ok!

@Vergus , you mean step up and do his share. Being a parent isn't restricted to women.

Oh and give baby to dad when you can too. He can help.

Quite what possessed you to decide the pain and struggles of those who can't have children are yours to co-opt for poor quality internet arguments, one dreads to think. I'm glad OP hasn't acknowledged any of this incoherent nonsense.

We've all been there! Apart from @candledrip who is just trolling for kicks. And yes, sleep deprivation can turn you into a shivering wreck! I took my son to France when he was 3 months old. I will admit, the first 48 hours was quite hard because we were settling in but after that we found the semblance of a routine and the holiday was over before we knew it. Babies don't really need holidays IMHO - they're happier having cuddles and milk and Cbeebies on the sofa at home. Gentle, routine days and the familiarity of their own things. Men don't really get it, they are a bit better when the babies turn into 10 yrs and upwards, as they can then do more active, boisterous things with them. But yes, the early baby years you just keep things very very simple indeed.

You're there now - we all live and learn! AS a mum I had to learn to set and enforce my boundaries. It's all too easy to go along with what others want and suggest, but it's very important you and baby do what's comfortable and safe and easy for you as mum, at least until he gets a bit older. But you're not alone, most mums will agree that holidaying with babies can be hard work. Just enjoy what you can when you can and it will be ok.

My parents were absolutely accepting of whatever DD needed when we visited them. Mum was working during the day and treasured her time with DD when she got home. (DD is a dyed in the wool night owl so was asleep much of the day anyway.)

it was a holiday for me in that in that there were other pairs of hands to help with DD for 3 weeks which there weren’t at home, and gave my parents a decent chunk of time with DD rather than snatched long weekends and Skype calls.

Don’t get me wrong, many memories are made all the same, but ‘holiday’? Nope, wouldn’t attribute that word to any element of parenting, it’s why there is an ‘ing at the end, it’s a doing word. Being on holiday or in someone else’s home abroad means you can’t be on autopilot, which is incredibly tiring for most, but probably quite overwhelming for parents of a young baby.

You know there are babies and toddlers living in those hot countries, don’t you? And that not everyone lives close to their family members?

Mine was good as gold on every flight. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My family lives at the other end of the world from where we do so we have travelled back there many times. My babies have always thrived on routine too so after the first day or so of jet lag, I've always had them on a schedule/routine on holiday and organised all the social stuff around that. It isn't the exact same routine as we would have at home, but it's a routine and babies do adjust quickly- and we have kept the cadence of the day, the bedtime routine etc the same (even if the actual bedtime is later). (They are very much not babies any more but we have travelled throughout their childhood).

Indeed. We went abroad with our youngest at three months old to visit family and it was a doddle. When the same child was a toddler, not so much of a doddle, although it was better once we arrived. But those years are long past now and I'm happy all our family were able to see our children grow up.

I know this isn’t helpful but whenever we go abroad & see people with babies we always think they must be crazy! Just holiday in the UK until the kids are a bit older. I would never want to take a baby abroad but I do understand that your situation is different if you’re visiting family. I guess you just need to make the most of it now. Hope things get a bit easier x

Wonderful to hear. 🥰