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AIBU?

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Hostile neighbour regarding fencing

118 replies

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:26

Sorry but it's a bit of a long one.

During the severe storms we had back in December our fence was blown down. We have started to gather quotes for a new fence. This is where the problem started. We had a contractor out this evening for a quote to which our neighbour shouted at us and him that we are not to step foot on his property. We have been nothing but good neighbours to him and have looked out for him over the last four years we have lived here as he is elderly and alone. He then went into his back garden and started blaming us for the fence falling down back in December and apparently we have been throwing weed killer into his garden and allowing others to jump over the fence into his garden. He then started shouting and swearing at us to say how dare we even consider getting the fence fixed and he will do it in his own time when he is ready despite us now being unable to allow our dog out into the garden for nearly 3
Months now due to the risks of him escaping. The whole argument got a bit heated as he was blaming us for the fence falling down in the wind. So I think my whole question here is AIBU for being so upset by the way he acted over wanting to have a fence that is secure in our garden. We are trying to determine where the boundary line is. If anyone could help that would be fantastic too. In context the fence is on our front door line if that makes sense and the good side faces us but it was put up before we moved in. Any responses would be amazing and thank you if you are still hear reading this

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:41

Our council have a service called MASH to report people that you have concerns - not all councils call the department by that name though

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:40

AcquadiP · 05/03/2025 19:39

The good side (without posts) is on your side so that's his fence.

So we would have to just leave it like that until he decides to do anything about it? Sorry this is a whole new world for us this is our first house

OP posts:
ShodAndShadySenators · 05/03/2025 19:40

HalfTermHoliday · 05/03/2025 19:29

So hang on, do you actually know who owns the fence and is responsible for maintenance? It's usually marked on the deeds to the house.

What a strange reaction from him though ☹️ He has clearly got the wrong end of the stick along the way but there is no need to be aggressive.

It doesn't matter who owns the current fence or who is responsible for maintaining the boundary. OP can put a fence up if she wants to, ensuring that it is on her land and not on the NDN's. He might object to that, and if he is deteriorating mentally - and it sounds like he is - then he probably will. But the important thing is to get a fence up to keep OP's dog safely contained in the garden.

It sounds a really tricky situation and I'd want to alert any relatives of the neighbour's to his plight, if there are any.

FWIW not all house deeds do show boundary responsibilities. Ours don't

AcquadiP · 05/03/2025 19:39

The good side (without posts) is on your side so that's his fence.

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:36

He was shouting at us insisting that we have to tell him before we speak to anyone about the fence

OP posts:
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:35

I don't think he has much family left. I think he has a cousin somewhere but would have no idea on how to contact them

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:34

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:32

We have thought this for a while he has said to us on a few occasions that he thinks that people are breaking into his garden and smashing things up. He fell out with another neighbour over a car battery charger and this led to him barricading himself in the house for two weeks

Might be worth contacting Your councils social services depart To see if they can offer him some help?

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:33

This is what happened the first time but there are more panels down since having more storms through December

Hostile neighbour regarding fencing
OP posts:
RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:32

MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:30

Sounds as if he needs some help, he could be ill as op states

We have thought this for a while he has said to us on a few occasions that he thinks that people are breaking into his garden and smashing things up. He fell out with another neighbour over a car battery charger and this led to him barricading himself in the house for two weeks

OP posts:
HalfTermHoliday · 05/03/2025 19:32

MN loves a diagram op if you have time to oblige..?

MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:32

The deeds will mark with a T which side the fence belongs to, download a copy from online for £7

as for the neighbour, does he have family you could contact about his health. People jumping over the fence is really sounding like he isn’t well

Punishmentforthis · 05/03/2025 19:32

If the good side is on your side, I would assume that your neighbour owns the fence

InfoSecInTheCity · 05/03/2025 19:31

My understanding is that general rule is that the owner of the fence gets the posts on their boundary so if you've got the good side, it may be that he owns the fence. You can still put up your own alongside where his would sit but it needs to be completely within your boundary.

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:30

There is no T line on the boundary line at all it just shows our boundary as a whole

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 05/03/2025 19:30

Sounds as if he needs some help, he could be ill as op states

HalfTermHoliday · 05/03/2025 19:29

So hang on, do you actually know who owns the fence and is responsible for maintenance? It's usually marked on the deeds to the house.

What a strange reaction from him though ☹️ He has clearly got the wrong end of the stick along the way but there is no need to be aggressive.

RubyRoo29 · 05/03/2025 19:29

We have had our concerns about him over the years. We once had to call the police as he had locked himself in his home after falling out with another neighbour across the road

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 05/03/2025 19:27

Do you think height be suffering from alzheimers? He sounds very strange.