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AIBU?

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To think it’s reasonable that I misunderstood what he meant?

32 replies

Creedible · 05/03/2025 17:06

My DP has man flu. We don’t live together so he’s been feeling sorry for himself and barely communicative for days.

He speaks fluent English but is not from here.

Last night after my shift at 11pm, he suddenly text me saying “I want to be intimate with you right now”.

Now I was very confused. Firstly, why was he being so blunt about wanting sex, particularly having been so quiet? Kind of offensive, really. And also, wasn’t he feeling too unwell for sex? He also put some very uncharacteristic hug emojis at the end which made no sense.

As it happened, I did go over (what can I say…I have needs), and while we did have sex, he kept saying he was surprised he’d managed it as he’d felt so unwell.

This baffled me a bit because why invite me over for sex, if you don’t feel up to it?

Today I asked him if he thought he’d be recovered to catch up on Friday. He said he really didn’t know, he was feeling dreadful.

At this point I got a little annoyed. I asked why he was well enough for a very blatant late night booty call yesterday, but suddenly was too ill to meet Friday.

He was completely confused and insisted he hadn’t booty called me and the last thing on his mind last night had been sex, he just really wanted a see me.

After much back and forth, turns out his interpretation of “I want to be intimate with you” meant he wanted a hug and some quality time. He had never heard the phrase used to mean sex.

I actually thought it was rather funny in retrospect but sadly he didn’t and is rather annoyed at my assumption! I feel quite sad about this, firstly because I missed his good intentions but also because he’s genuinely really cross now.

I don’t think IWBU to think that though, based on how a native English speaker would use the word “intimate”.

OP posts:
Creedible · 05/03/2025 17:18

BlueSlate · 05/03/2025 17:15

I wouldn't use the word 'intimate' to mean sex and it really irritates me when other people do.

I wouldn’t either but that’s still how I’d interpret someone saying it!

OP posts:
Anotherdayanotherdollar · 05/03/2025 17:18

You're offended that your partner was blunt about sex?? 😳

Creedible · 05/03/2025 17:17

BlueSlate · 05/03/2025 17:16

Perhaps he was annoyed because the OP wasnt the intended recipient of the uncharacteristic message and he was uncomfortable trying to explain his way out of it?

It had my name at the beginning of it so it certainly was meant for me!

OP posts:
BlueSlate · 05/03/2025 17:16

Perhaps he was annoyed because the OP wasnt the intended recipient of the uncharacteristic message and he was uncomfortable trying to explain his way out of it?

BeforeWinter · 05/03/2025 17:15

5128gap · 05/03/2025 17:13

I'm surprised he's annoyed. I'd have thought most people would see the funny side of the misunderstanding. What's he annoyed about?

This. (Though I have to say I have never, before it started to become the favourite sex euphemism on here, come across 'intimacy' used to mean 'sex'.)

BlueSlate · 05/03/2025 17:15

I wouldn't use the word 'intimate' to mean sex and it really irritates me when other people do.

5128gap · 05/03/2025 17:13

I'm surprised he's annoyed. I'd have thought most people would see the funny side of the misunderstanding. What's he annoyed about?

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