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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my sons to go to private school because of the culture?

32 replies

NimblePoster · 05/03/2025 15:01

I know private schools have advantages, but I keep hearing horror stories about the culture - elitism, strange traditions, and boys being pressured into weird or degrading games (yes, including that one). I don’t want my sons exposed to that environment, even if the academics are good. AIBU to think private schools might not be worth it?

OP posts:
dogcatkitten · 05/03/2025 15:06

Are you talking about boarding schools? Day schools there's not much time for strange customs. And you would soon know if anything you didn't approve of was going on. I think most of these tales are from years ago. Teaching good behaviour and good manners as well as academic achievement is all on the plus side.

SonoPazziQuestiRomani · 05/03/2025 15:05

I'd wager that the people sharing these "horror" stories have either never been to a private school themselves or are 107 years old...

Myengagementring · 05/03/2025 15:04

I don't have any experience of private school so this might be a one off but my son has just quit a hobby he loved because a large number in the group are from private school and their entitled behaviour and they way they spoke to the volunteers was shocking. They were vile to everyone who didn't go to their school, they totally ruined it for him.

Waterlilysunset · 05/03/2025 15:03

Agreed. My husband did and I am absolutely against sending our son even though pushy GP will likely offer to pay for the school of their choice.

It helped my husband with networking but completely fucked up his mental health via anxiety and depression. He also has an air of entitlement and can be a completely arrogant twit who doesn’t think anything of bashing those less fortunate in early life

and yes there were weird things they all did to each other like pissing on boys while they were asleep

minipie · 05/03/2025 15:03

I think you’re talking about stories from a handful of private boarding schools, several decades ago.

Most private schools are day schools and there’s none of that there. It also has mostly disappeared at boarding schools.

HermioneWeasley · 05/03/2025 15:02

There are lots of very normal independent schools with no weird sexual rituals. Most if not all in fact.

AgricolaOrBed · 05/03/2025 15:02

You shouldn’t believe everything you read in the Daily Mail.