To not want my sons to go to private school because of the culture?

boarding is different... I wouldn't send my kids to board. But private day school absolutely.

Sent DS to private school which we spent a lot of time visiting before he went. It was very strong academically and took no nonsense from the pupils. It was ideal for him and he did well. I am conscious not everyone has the privilege of doing so, but I did not regret a decision to go private.

You're so right, OP - a friend of a friend from Pilates told me about a boy she knew who went to private school, and they made him keep an owl in his bedroom, and the teachers threatened to make him drink 'potions' (sp?). The worst thing was, he had a scar and everyone made a massive deal about it, poor kid. So much Latin, too.

Agreed. If OP’s kids have a similar level of critical thinking to her she needn’t worry, there’s no way they’d pass an entrance exam.

I find the lack of criticism thinking on this site so incredibly depressing. Do people really just believe any old crap?

There are around 500,000 children at private schools in the UK. Do you really think that hundreds of thousands of parents are happily sending their kids to institutions rife with sexually degrading games, in the belief that they are going to turn into elitist horrors?

Or, maybe, possibly, there are some bad kids/bad schools in the private sector, just like there are bad kids/schools in the state sector.

There's a huge range of private schools, just as there's a huge range of state schools. You are not unreasonable to not want your son to attend a school with the type of culture you're describing but you are completely unreasonable to assume that that's the norm in private schools. It's as unreasonable as assuming that there are knife wielding drug dealers in every state school.
When you're choosing a school it's best to look at all the options realistically available to you and judge each on its own merits. Making sweeping generalisations is foolish and could lead to you missing out on a school that may suit your son very well.

He sounds a charmer

I wouldn't send either a son or daughter to a single sex school. I think it's healthier for children to mix with each other socially. Also wouldn't send my child to any kind of boarding school even if I won the lottery.
Other than that I think private school is probably a good opportunity if you can afford it for your children.

I went to state school and taught in several for almost 20 years. Family members went to private. They are all well rounded normal people. I now teach privately so i teach kids from both backgrounds. No issues from any private school in my area

Good god what ridiculous double standards! My dc are at an independent. How would you react OP if I said I would not send them to state school’ because of the culture’!
My Dc have the loveliest group of friends at school, also at clubs like scouts where the majority are state educated.
Do you really think people pay upwards of 20k a year for their kids to be exposed to ‘ weird and degrading games’ ?

I've got a great idea OP and it's one you may not have thought of before.

Why not send your kid to a state school?

Just throwing that out there as a suggestion...

My husband and his brother went to private school both for primary and secondary. As far as I can gather they had a very 'normal' school experience just smaller class sizes and more resources. Granted, it wasn't one of the big name ones so things might be different there.

I wouldn't want it for DD particularly, I'd like her to grow up with a more inclusive and balanced view of the world. On the other hand, that's incredibly easy for me to say as she currently attends a fantastic primary school ('outstanding' though she was there before they received that rating and it wasn't the be all and end all for me), and we're in catchment for an equally great secondary. Also of course, we couldn't afford it anyway, so I haven't actually had to make the decision in practice!

Some private schools aren't worth it. Some are (depending on what affect the amount of money would have on your family life). There's no point assuming they're all great because you pay for them. Plenty are bad, or bad in some ways, or ok but not really worth the price. If you have the money, it's worth looking at all the schools around you and then deciding.

I don't particularly think private schools should exist and couldn't afford one anyway, btw, so I really have no skin in the game.

Last I heard private school wasn’t compulsory so do what you like.
This is an entirely pointless thread, which will go down the route of anecdata, defensiveness and generalisations both ways.

Every school is different. Some private schools are awful, some state schools are awful.

This is the equivalent of me saying I don't want to send my children to a state school to avoid knives - they don't exist in every state school

You cannot paint the entire sector with one brush - go see the schools in question and weigh up which is better for your child. Unfortunately you will find a huge amount of reverse snobbery on MN based on some people deciding on entitlement based on meeting one privately educated individual

There are some Private schools I wouldn't send my children to if you paid me. But there are some I would have happily sold a kidney to get my children into.

Just like there are some state schools - like the one near where I grew up - where I would do everything in my power not to send my child to and there are some I would do everything I could to get my child into the catchment area for.

So don’t send your child to private school? The overwhelming majority of children in the UK don’t. State education hardly some kid of wacky, out-there decision, like sending them to be raised by Siberian shamen or something.

Teens can be entitled & selfish at the best of the times obviously for some attending private school doesn't help.

Depends on the school

There is a vast spectrum of different types of private schools. What you're talking about sounds like the example of the worst stereotypes of behaviour that you get at the super elite schools (Eton/Harrow/Winchester College etc). That's a very very small sample of what the "private school" universe encompasses. Even within that super elite fragment I very much doubt all of the kids in these schools are arseholes.

There are some entitled posho arseholes at some private schools. But there are some twats in the comprehensive system as well.

You have to take it school by school.

I went to private school as did both my DC.

Not one of us ever experienced this in any way, shape or form.

I can't speak for Eton specifically but there are no weird or degrading games st most public schools either. Just like you don't get your head flushed down the loo at most state schools!

Are you talking about Eton or those sort of highly elite schools? You do know the vast majority of private schools are nothing like that?!

My ds school is a small day school with lots of kids on burseries and scholarships. Definitely no weird degrading games 😂

My experience at Guides was the exact opposite - I was the only privately educated girl in the group and the other girls were horrible to me. Some people are arseholes and will be arseholes wherever they are schooled.

There are good Private Schools, there are shit Private Schools. There are good State Schools, there a shit State Schools.

Do some research on specific ones, check your bank balance, make a choice.