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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be longing for four year olds DS to start school?

41 replies

ijustcantwaitforit · 05/03/2025 09:51

I’m sure it’s not all roses then either.

No childcare fees; this is a biggie. DS currently attends nursery for three days a week and I am still paying around £400 a month for this. I’m longing for more money.

Then the two days he has with me seem quite costly in so many ways - yesterday all we did was go to a park but it was still £4 parking and £7 (!) for ice creams. I know - I can say no but I suppose the point is when he’s at school that isn’t as much of a consideration.

It is Hard Work on those two days (I also have another child who is twenty months) and it will be so much calmer with just one, although still hard work of course.

I guess I’m just looking to September and I shouldn’t be, I should be enjoying the time we have left together and I am trying to, honestly, but I just want him to start school!

OP posts:
Comedycook · 05/03/2025 11:36

Yanbu...I was absolutely thrilled when my dc started school and skipped happily away past the weeping mothers 😂

tumblebumbleweed · 05/03/2025 11:34

@Gogogo12345 he goes to a pre school 4 mornings, gets the 15 hours. That will continue next year

Gogogo12345 · 05/03/2025 11:29

tumblebumbleweed · 05/03/2025 11:25

I'm the opposite (no judgement) although my son's very late summer born so we've deferred him starting this year until next. I love our days of nothingness apart from walks and baking etc.

Presume it's not costing you £400 plus in nursery fees then.

tumblebumbleweed · 05/03/2025 11:25

I'm the opposite (no judgement) although my son's very late summer born so we've deferred him starting this year until next. I love our days of nothingness apart from walks and baking etc.

Needmorelego · 05/03/2025 11:21

Where do you live?
If in England he is entitled to 15 hours of free pre school education.
Could you not put him into a nursery class connected to a primary school?
The only thing you'd have to pay for is possibly some snacks and a uniform if they require one.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 05/03/2025 11:17

Do you work full time? Is the £400 on top of the free places? I'm not sure how it all works now?

Will he attend wrap around when he starts school?

Porcuporpoise · 05/03/2025 11:10

Ah ignore me, I'm just being grumpy. I'll tell you though, when you have to bribe your near adult children to take time out of their busy lives to spend time with you it will cost more than just an ice-cream 😁

TheatreTraveller · 05/03/2025 11:08

I'm the opposite (don't think either of us are right/wrong - your post just struck a chord with me for different reasons).
Possibly because she's my second child and last, I am absolutely dreading September, I could cry thinking about it. No more lovely days with her every Monday when I'm off, I'd gladly sacrifice the money for another year spending time with her just the 2 of us. They're little for such a short time.

Original poster
ijustcantwaitforit · 05/03/2025 11:07

Oh absolutely. But yes two of everything is obviously more than one. Yesterday it was just an ice cream (though it adds up) but if you think over the course of a year it’s two soft play sessions, two entries to a group or session, two cakes, two ice creams, two milkshakes.

DS is no trouble but it can be difficult meeting their needs when I have them both.

I am ready to have them both start school really but the younger one is not until 2027!

OP posts:
Porcuporpoise · 05/03/2025 11:03

Depressing post. Surely it will cost as much to park with only 1 child in the car, or will you not be taking them to the park? You could buy 1 less ice cream I guess.

SayDoWhatNow · 05/03/2025 10:56

Oops, wrong thread.

Yorkshireswithallroasts · 05/03/2025 10:45

They can start school nursery from 3 in Wales. It's not compulsory but pretty much everyone I know has done it. It seemed really early with my very easy going first born - and not soon enough with my very demanding youngest!

TeenLifeMum · 05/03/2025 10:43

dd1 is 17 now but I still remember wanting a wonderful term with her before starting school (I was on maternity with dtds). Instead she was mean and jealous and it wasn’t the special memory-making time I planned.

The September mums crying as they dropped dc off for a 2 hour taster always baffled me. I skipped away. I do love my dc, honest!

whydear · 05/03/2025 10:40

Same as OP but he's my only.
When he used to go 5 days a week to nursery while I was working full time I used to feel guilty. Now he's only going 3 days but the remaining 2 days are hard work.

He has very rarely had tantrums. And is generally a sweet little boy. But when they come on his days with me. I like to remind myself it's a phase. Smile

Dolambslikemintsauce · 05/03/2025 10:30

My ds was a handful at 4.. I was the only dm not tearful that day in September long ago!! He also had a sibling 20 months younger.. Who was sheer bliss!!

Biffbaff · 05/03/2025 10:28

I have a 20 month old and a child in school, it IS easier when they start. I'm already looking forward to when my littlest starts school and that's in 2027 🙊 and come September she'll hopefully be doing school hours at the pre-school (providing we get a place) and I can't wait for that either.

It doesn't mean you don't love your child, or that you're wishing their life away (as my mum accused me of doing). There will just be a point on the horizon where life is a bit easier and it's OK to look forward to that. These are hard years.

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