Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

Presumably finding the appropriate support or alternative setting. That happens IN school on the whole.

I’m not sure what sort of parenting someone is doing if they let their child be in a situation where they are either so distressed / dysregulated or so poorly behaved that they are being violent in a classroom daily.

I’m not sure what sort of parenting you’re doing if you are letting your child be assaulted daily because of any “law” or inconvenience. It’s not that rare for parents to remove their children from harmful situations.

What @Octavia64 says 100%

I too have an obvious disability & I'm also ND.
Stems, noises etc...absolutely fine.

Hurts others. That's my limit, and I say this as the Mum of an Audhd teenager x

Some peeople don't have the option to just not send a child to school. Which should be a safe place and where they are legally supposed to be.

If there is someone with the mental age of a toddler, an acquired brain injury, or any mental health condition who presents a serious risk to the public then they have to be confined to a secure mental hospital - there are currently over 7000 patients in secure facilities.

Would I report to the police? Not necessarily . But I would defend myself fully, using reasonable force.

Of course. They need to be cared for 25/7, not allowed out without a carer. In an ideal world . And if they assaulted me I would treat them the same as any other assailant . I would make sure to remove myself and ensure my safety. I would hope that their carer could descalate the situation and calm them. But that is their job. Mine is to get out the way and let carer do their job.

What do you suggest we do with adults who have dementia or the mental age of a toddler due to brain damage or medical conditions then? Someone has to care for them.

@Whatthebarnacles I think it's reasonable enough to push the person off you or maybe try a gentle self defence move. As long as you're not going beyond reasonable forcce, that seems within the bounds of the law, and not unreasonable. I'm ND myself due to trauma so my fight reflex would probably kick in and I would push them off me and try to get away to where I felt safe. It's my job to prioritise my own safety and the job of the carers or the disabled person themselves to prioritise theirs. I think or have fair enough. Raising voice a bit and shouting NO, is not going to cause lasting harm to anyone.

Funding for carers isn’t handed out willynilly. Reporting assaults to the police is likely to lead to reassessment of care provision and possibly increase funding. Or it maybe that yours is just one in a pattern of assaults with escalating violence that requires more drastic measures like secure psychiatric accommodation in order to stop them killing someone. It does no one no favours to ignore it.

Earlier in the thread a PP reported a young man karate-kicking their two year old. That could have killed that two year old. Yet there is so much minimisation of risk going on here….

I would definitely physically defend myself not sure whether I would call the police or not.

I think it would depend on circumstance for me. I think I’m fairly laid back and lazy so if I wasn’t hurt and I didn’t think the person had intent I don’t think I’d call the police. I might complain to the carer or about the carer to their boss if I knew of them but that would be more as a safeguarding thing than a policing behaviour thing iykwim

If I'm physically assaulted, I'll call the police. I'm not going to not call the police because 'well, they might have a disability' 🙄

He has autism.
As well as the violence and sexual behaviour he also laughs and smiles in his own little world. He likes going to a certain restaurant (always eats the exact same thing). He like playing in the park and on swings, slides etc. I think his days at the park are possibly over though because if another child is on something he wants do go on he'll just drag them off it and then literally step and swing over them on the ground. He's a big strong mid teen now.

Because as a parent your responsibility is to your child so you do what protects them. I honestly wonder if some of you live in the real world at all. Who would passively send their child back to be hit in school repeatedly? Or at a club? Or by a friend? Or in the local park….be sensible.

No, the one child being violent to the other 20+ children should be removed. Why would you remove everyone else?

Nobody needs to put up with being assaulted regardless of the level of their understanding or that of their assailant.

But if no details are left how will the police / agencies know who to contact?

You can’t have people going around trying to strangle others, regardless of disability / level of understanding. Obviously there is something not working in the safeguarding arrangements that needs to be addressed and I think the victim would be reasonably entitled to expect it is.

The perpetrators should be removed not the victim !

I guess if there was a problem perhaps parents could coordinate and no kids go in except the violent child ?

If your child is being assaulted repeatedly in the care of anyone you must of course remove them from that situation if it cannot be fixed so they are safe. What other option is there?
The world has not “turned upside down” and violent children are removed from schools regardless of their able/disabled status. That’s because the violence is the issue not their disability. We don’t tie children up at school (or hit them), and people who do that shouldn’t be in education.

I do grow weary of all this nonsense.

There are levels where the person isn't going to have the ability to control hitting.
Do you also have no understanding of why a scared person with dementia may hit?
Obviously it's case dependant, but especially with non verbal disabilities hitting is a quite natural fear reaction.

Imagine being unable to communicate properly, being overwhelmed scared and not having much or any ability to remove yourself from the situation. Hitting out is a communication to back away. It's not likely to happen unless you are the carer or in their personal space either.

Obviously behavioural issues where there is a higher level of development is a different story, but there are definitely situations where hitting out would be understandable.

I’m not sure what point you are trying to make here? Minimising assault or neglect or abuse is obviously not a good thing.

In the middle of an incident carers need to do what is safest for the person they are working with, for themselves and for those around them. It doesn't mean that other agencies won't become involved and yes sometimes the agencies will involve the police themselves.

Sorry. Pressed too soon. The op: "it's one of his stims." Other people , both children and adults who have been hurt by disabled people.. One lady was told to send her child to another school because she was facing daily assaults by a disabled child and the school is too ineffectual to help the victim and do something about the problem. The world has turned upside down. I gave an anecdote about something that happened a very long time ago. Whether or not the teacher was abusive is immaterial at this late stage and I would imagine she is long dead in any case. As far as I know, nobody was traumatised for life - we were more resilient then - including the boy in question who was much happier in a setting more appropriate to his needs. I still think that the teacher in question was terrified that someone was going to be badly hurt and was doing the best she could under intense pressure and those particular set of circumstances.