Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

Most schools will give consequences for any hitting. Both sides. Children are taught to get an adult and not resort to violence themselves. If they didn’t there would be carnage.

I agree. My dd is in reception, I’ve been teaching her that she should scream and hit back if anyone hits her. Luckily she hasn’t had to yet but if someone does hurt her I want her to be prepared to defend herself. If anyone thinks my tiny 4 year old should just stand there and take being hurt because the child attacking her has SEN then they are not a very nice person.

I can see what you’re saying but it is not neglectful to make sure your child gets an education and the better cause of action is to insist the child who is harming others is removed.
If they are old enough it could be reported to the police
If not then social services and the school.

An adult or child being attacked is never acceptable

I think the school should be providing adequate support.

I said a parent that continued to send their child into school if they were being repeatedly hurt should protect them and not protecting them was neglectful. Your child is being protected because the school has put in more support. If the child is still able to hurt your child then I would ask the school what they are going to do to protect her. If they don’t my child wouldn’t be attending.

Do you think the parents of a child who is hurting 29 other kids should remove their child?

Yes it is but you described me as neglectful because I did not remove her. I was addressing that snd how you think I could have handled it.

Personally I’d rather pay a fine than have my child hurt, but I doubt that’s how it would pan out.

Look, when you are sending your child into school and that child is being hurt and their confidence is being eroded day after day it’s really really hard to know what to do. My opinion is you try to fix things through school but if they can’t help you absolutely need to remove your child.

And then you get attendance letters from the LA because your child hasn't been in school, ending up in a fine? Excellent.

I thought the situation was resolved? Is the school not putting in 1:1 support for the child to protect the other students and then the child being transferred at Easter?

So what do you suggest I do? Take her out and do what? Nearest school is 20 miles away. When I suggested her moving her anxiety got so much worse, she loves school and her friends. What are the other parents to do? Everyone take their child out until this kid is the only kid left?

I don’t think you were neglectful if you used the paths available to you and have achieved an outcome before you felt you had to remove your child. If school hadn’t found a solution (and that ISN’T always special school) then would you have continued sending your child in? And what if the unchecked behaviour escalated?

You can call me what you like, if you allow your child to go every day and let them get so upset and frustrated in a setting that doesn’t suit them so much so they hurt others you can be described as neglectful too, not only of your own child but the wellbeing of 29 other kids you are allowing your child to hurt.

I don’t really know why you keep asking this question? If you allow your child to be hurt daily and can stop them being exposed to that then obviously I think it’s neglect. You are responsible for your child’s safety. I think most people start by complaining to the school and insisting their child is kept safe. At some point if that doesn’t work you DO have to stop the situation from continuing yourself.

In a way, the situation your daughter has had in her class was similar to my experience that I wrote about earlier in which I was told l was condoning historic abuse. All anyone wanted was for every child, whether ND or not, to receive the education suitable for their needs in a safe environment.

Fair enough. But they will also have developed strategies to help them cope and they will know the person's needs and what helps descalate them, a stranger likely won't know that. And of course oftentimes the victim may be ND or otherwise vulnerable themselves.

I would never teach any child of mine that you set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. A ND person was never harmed by being told no or stop or a raised voice.

There is a child in my DS’ class, I know she has SEN but I’m not sure what she has been diagnosed with. Occasional she will start throwing things around the classroom, the teacher gently ushers the kids out in to a different room while they calm the other child down. They carry on doing their work in a different room. My understanding is this is a rare occurrence

Now, this isn’t ideal of course. However, my DS has literally never even mentioned it to me and when I calmly asked him about it he certainly didn’t seem too bothered by it. So in my opinion, that’s a reasonable adjustment. So I am obviously not adverse to making REASONABLE adjustments.
Allowing other kids in the class to by physically hurt by another kid is where I would draw the line though.

I did, I didn’t want to make it sound like he was being removed for being bad because it is important that she understands that he has a disability and it is not his fault and it is not her fault either that he was going because she was upset that it was. She told me he is not mean but he is very angry and that he scares her when he is like that because he is bigger than the other kids. I told her the school he is going to will have special teachers to help him when he gets angry. I hope I said the right thing. She said she was glad he was going but she was sad too but I could see her relax in the knowing she wouldn’t be hurt again. She is a kind little thing and has a good heart. She’s going to make him a card. I just feel jubilant not because we eventually got something done and the child has been removed but that this will positively impact the kids in the class and the child themselves.

Agree.
The one being hit/punched/assaulted isn't the one in the wrong.

It doesn't matter how many times you tell your DC to walk away the one doing the hitting/punching is free to follow and continue with their behaviour.

That’s where I’m at too. Of course it’s better to avoid a fight but sometimes (certainly going by the masses of threads on MN from parents with kids being hurt in primary school) it has to happen. I’d rather he was ready for that, and willing to do it.

I do appreciate that some kids have SEN. But putting that on to another child isn’t fair; they can’t be expected to rationalise that David can hit them and throw chairs but if they do it, there’ll be hell to pay.

It sends a poor message to any growing child that they should tolerate someone hurting them.

Another poster earlier said to remove the child who has been hurt from the class/school. Mad how it’s ok to suggest that, yet people are shouted down for saying the violent one should be thrown out.

Parents/carers have an incredibly difficult job and have my sympathies and admiration, but it would be unreasonable to expect anyone to find assault acceptable.

No, you’re right, nobody finds assault acceptable. Nobody. It’s not okay.

And yet carers get assulted regularly and nobody seems to really care about that? It doesn’t come up much. In case people are unaware the majority of care in the UK is provided by family carers and not by professionals.

The public being assulted is the tip of the iceberg unfortunately.

Having sympathy and admiration is no help.

https://pure-oai.bham.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/256782607/10-1108jap-09-2024-0053.pdf

An excerpt:
There is currently no data available in the British Isles on the number of carers who are exposed to harm by the cared for person* However, in one recent survey of carers (n = 1102) in Ireland, over two-fifths (44%) reported that they “regularly experienced” either physical aggression or verbal/emotional abuse from their relative.

*says it all really

I’m with you on this. My DS (7) has been told that you must always try and walk away from a fight where possible and never to start one. But if someone has a hold of you and won’t let go then you can use force to make them do so.

So do you still think the mother is neglectful for not taking her child out of school??

Great news! Both for the child in question, your DD and the rest of the class. Have you told your DD?

Complain to the school repeatedly along with the other parents until they eventually bloody do something that’s what. Hopefully they will see sense and exclude the boy with immediate effect