Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

'I don't agree that it's acceptable for a young child to be assaulted' I don't either, which is why we shouldn't be encouraging it. As is often the case with ND DC, if you had punched one of your bullies, after years of taunting. Would it be right to suggest you getting hit back was you getting 'what you deserved' as the perpetrator of the violence? Should we encourage the bullies to be violent? Encouraging our DC to escalate the violence won't do anyone any favours.

I don’t think I am and I don’t think I’ve shown any lack of concern for violence anywhere.

I would say a ND or learning disabled or autistic or person with MH challenges who is appropriately supported if FAR less likely to cause harm than the next person. They are also far MORE likely to be the victim of crime.

@Itisbetter Why are you trying to stifle discussion? Many people in this conversation are ND but still very concerned about harm to children in schools.

@Resttime I don't agree that it's acceptable for a young child to be assaulted and that they shouldn't be allowed to hit back just because the perpetrator is ND. And I say that as an autistic person myself. I never laid a hand on a schoolmate despite being a victim of bullying for years. It does disabled people no favours to push this narrative of giving blanket permission for ND children to harm other kids. If anything it stigmatises them far more.

I refer to female children because girls and women are more vulnerable. I would be much more concerned about them internalising the message that it's okay for others to hurt them.

You don’t think someone with no impulse control or reduced impulse control makes them higher risk of acting impulsively in a way that is harmful?

As are the proportion of non white men, and men from deprived backgrounds is that because they are “higher risk” or because they are higher profile?

The proportion of people in prison with ND conditions is much much higher than the general population. Conditions that reduce/remove impulse control, empathy, ability to respond verbally, emotional regulation etc are bound to make someone higher risk.

I think people should be careful about stereotypes they feed into both on line and off. For example I'm also aware that it's not every man who is ND but do you think people shouldn't be able to discuss it? I would imagine it’s very far from “every man” in fact probably far far fewer men both in actual numbers and as a proportion of the ND population who commit these assaults. We can talk about anything but we have a responsibility to protect those who cannot protect themselves and who’s already limited lives are further limited by prejudice.

I agree nobody should be assulted of course.

But the reality is that there is not enough support for parents and family carers.
It is very easy to say that this teen should be adequately supervised at all times to protect himself and others. The reality is different.

We don’t know the situation. Perhaps he is being cared for by a single parent (usually the mother). Disability in the family increases the risk of relationship breakdown, so if this doesn’t describe this particular boy’s situation it describes many others.

Is his mum to remain trapped in her own home with him at all times outside of school hours?
What about his medical appointments? How do they attend those? What about siblings’ activities? Families with disabilities are also at increased financial risk. Perhaps they have no choice but to use public transport.

And so on. It is so easy to say that the public needs to be safe but nobody thinks otherwise really. The reality is there is not enough support out there for disabled people and for family carers and until there is it is hard to see how things can improve.

Also agree with pp that this is a very depressing thread reading it from the pov of a disabled person’s family member. Some people are describing disabled people like they’re another species or something, there’s that sort of vibe on here 😕

Also, lots of DC will not stop when the situation escalates. It is better for your DC to be taught to escape the situation rather than putting them at risk of more harm.

But the child you're encouraging doesn't understand the consequences you are happy to impose on their life. For example a DC that has had multiple exclusions for violence towards a disabled child will have less choice in life than a DC that does not. A DC that is taught to resolve conflicts through violence will take those lessons into adult life. And not all of the children taught that will be female.

I don't care about race, religion, NT or ND, if men assault women they shouldn't be on the streets. In the case of an ND man also for his own safety as he could also end up getting hurt if a woman fought back (I don't care about the safety of the others, they know what they are doing).

I'm aware that you only hear certain stories online and can only comment on them. I'm also aware that it's not every man who is ND but do you think people shouldn't be able to discuss it?

Posters have been saying we should make allowances but no one should be assaulted. If someone assaulted me I wouldn't care whether they were ND or NT, I'd care about myself. If that means shouting or lashing out, or reporting the attacker to the police then that's what I would do and let the police and carers sort if out afterwards.

I really wish that people would stop promoting the idea that there are many disabled young men waiting to assault females. You wouldn’t do that about young men of a different race or religion but you seem to feel no hesitation in promoting the idea repeatedly. Yes, there are disabled men who are predatory or uninhibited but they are not the norm and you are reinforcing a stereotype that causes a misunderstood group untold difficulties.

Just to reiterate NOBODY has condoned any form of violence or assault. What you say on line is not benign and you should want to be part of making the world better not worse for everyone.

Ridiculous!

As I’ve explained. My children have been victims. There are procedures to follow- for a reason.

I agree. While it's a very sad case and he can't help it his rights do not trump the rights of women not to be assaulted, their safety is the most important thing. Of course him doing this also puts him at risk as someone may understandably hit back hard.

@Ma1lle It genuinely is shocking how little empathy you have for victims.

Don’t be ridiculous.

I wouldn’t expect an autistic child who is almost 100% more likely to be on the end of bullying in all sorts of forms to retaliate with like for like either. My dc have suffered hugely from such bullying- physical,verbal and online. I used the correct schools procedures and the children involved were excluded and in the case of one permanently. Far more effective and my child learnt that violence doesn’t stop violence and following correct protocols is far more beneficial.

Any incident for a child being hurt for whatever reason will be recorded and dealt with in the correct way. There are safe guarding systems in place to ensure all children are kept safe and not hurt so your witch hunt is more than a little misguided.

I remember on TV years ago a school were the other parents did exactly that. Almost all the children in one particular primary class were kept home by their parents as the school had failed to keep them safe from one child. Child was even interviewed himself () walking to school and was saying that he was just an ordinary child who wanted to go to school and that he hadn't done anything wrong.

@Ma1lle You really don't want victims to defend themselves, I understand.

There are physical incidents with children hurting each other every day in schools for all sorts of reasons.It is the job of adults to sort out and parents encouraging their children to engage in violence aren’t doing them any favours.

@Ma1lle If a child suffers an unfair consequence for defending themselves against physical violence, I suppose that will be early preparation for possible future experiences with the police. Especially if the child is female.

Better an unfair consequence than learning to sit back and take violence.

You can’t simply “insist” any child at your child’s school is removed. What you can do is raise your concerns about your own child’s safety. IF the school fail repeatedly to keep your child safe then you should remove them.

Neglect means failing to look after someone, and the school would also be failing in that regard should they do nothing. It sounds more likely that they HAVE been working hard to find a support worker and in this case have found a new school for the child. I don’t think anyone has suggested at any point that violence in any form is acceptable.

Schools are doing an amazing job with very little and safeguarding is key. If it wasn’t Ofsted would be involved.

This!

The lack of Sen resources and adequate educate/ support for all is not the fault of any child with SEN- or their parents.