Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

I suspect you're partly refering to the thread about the OP's teenage daughter having her long hair pulled by a 20-year-old who was ND.

I'll say on here what I said on there: 'Yes, we should be understanding - but IMO tolerance ends where violence begins.'

I suspect you're partly refering to the thread about the OP's teenage daughter having her long hair pulled by a 20-year-old who was ND.

I'll say on here what I said on there: 'Yes, we should be understanding - but IMO tolerance ends where violence begins.'

I think sometimes people unfamiliar with the work of a carer, especially a family carer, assume a degree of support by the state that simply doesn’t exist. People can only do their best and sometimes circumstances are challenging. It may be difficult for others to appreciate the level of difficulty and the lack of support some carers face. And sometimes they’re the ones in danger.

You say to take responsibility. But who exactly needs to take responsibility?

Isn’t the basic message
Take responsibility
Don’t put others in danger

Basically, the law.

That’s true, but it’s relevant imho because some of the assumptions made and ways of avoiding the problems have just been completely unrealistic.

Full on rant incoming! Ready to be flamed in the depths on MN hell for this but it really is a hill I'm happy to die on so whatever will be, will be!

I'm absolutely sick to the back teeth of certain people on here who eye roll and sneer that those with hidden disabilities should be treated the same as neuro typical people.

Non verbal, lashing out? Report to police for assault - how dare they lay a hand on someone else 🙄

Can't sit still / constantly stims? Expel them from school - why should my "normal child" be affected?🙄

Stares and makes noises? Tell them you're uncomfortable and to stop immediately, we have the right not to be ogled.🙄

Can we please just stop it?! It's like the world's gone mad! All the years of effort to try and make people aware of hidden disabilities just seems to have crumbled an i've seen it happenn in here over the last 6 months or so more than ever. There seems to be an almighty wave of this incredibly farcical "BUT ME AND MINE" or "MY RIGHTS" just smash through the work that had been done and its depressing as shit.

Would you call the police or kick off on someone who spilled a cuppa over you then laughed? Or caught your face , if...

1. They were 4 years old? Nope, so why would you for someone with intellectual disabilities? You would talk to the carer. Rightly so.

1. If they had Parkinsons? Would you bollocks. Because you can SEE that disability and because its a physical one, then it can't be helped, right?

1. They were clearly ND?

I cant get my head around the lack of understanding

And don't get me started on those who turn these things into "us women" need to defend ourselves. And faux outrage "would they have done it to a man? I don't think so!" Urgh. Yes... they would. A disability is a disability, a stim is a stim, a jolt is a jolt. Hair is dangly, splashing someone or spilling something is funny, stimming is calming on the inside whilst frantic in the outside.

Frankly, it turns my stomach. Why is the world so angry at people who are different at the moment?!

I can only presume that the number of people now having been diagnosed is pissing these people off. I've honestly never ever heard so much "just because they're xyz doesn't mean that..." in my life. See also "they need to learn" or "they should know"...

I fret for my son growing up in this. He doesn't stand a cat in hells chance.

YABU - Of course ND people, should be treated the same as NT people when it comes to differing behaviour, regardless of mental age or physical disabilities associated with their condition.

YANBU - MN is rife with it at the moment, I've noticed that too.

Annnnnd..... crucify me. GO!!

I agree, personal attacks on others are unwarranted here and prove nothing.

Its also irrelevant if people have little or no personal experience of disabilities as we are discussing the right to personal safety.
Its really irrelevant who attacks or assaults people because the Personal outcome is no different if the attacker is disabled

A lot of people who disagree with you are themselves disabled. It's not as simple as "everyone who dissents from me is just vile and ignorant". There are genuinely many perspectives on these issues. It doesn't help to lash out at those who disagree.

@Itisbetter I don't agree that there is a frightening shift towards things being more ableist, racist, etc. Making that claim betrays a startling lack of historical awareness, in my opinion. We are living in an era of exceptional tolerance and inclusivity in most ways.

I do think you and some of the people with similar views to you are lashing out, yes. It seems to be very difficult for you to accept that others want to share their opinions in the thread without being immediately attacked and accused of being vile. You have no idea who has experience of what, and your assumptions are unfounded.

Sometimes that’s the case, but for many, many more it’s not.

I thought this thread was about hidden disabilities? Those with hidden disabilities are rarely in secure accommodation I’d have thought?

It is secure accommodation. They are locked down whether it be a family home, school, residential placement or a secure psychiatric facilities. In family homes that can also mean siblings are also locked down during school holidays and, unless the garden is secure or respite carers are looked after their disabled sibling, they are unable to go outside or open open window. I know several families who had to live like that until they were able to secure specialist residential school placements. The school where one teenager went, and loved, needs passes to unlock pretty much every door. (In his case the risk was elopement not violence).

Using stair gates and locking a front door etc is quite different in tone from your previous comment though.

You really think they don’t lock their front door if they need two carers in order to be outside safely or if they might flee if distressed? Of if they are lash out that they will have access to the kitchen knives or their siblings rooms? Or are you talking about those with capacity in which case if they violently assault someone they absolutely should be arrested and imprisoned.

Don’t tell me most parents of young children don’t use window locks, stair gates and child locks!

A lot of people who disagree with you are themselves disabled. It's not as simple as "everyone who dissents from me is just vile and ignorant". There are genuinely many perspectives on these issues. It doesn't help to lash out at those who disagree.

This is vile thread full of people happily passing judgement about things they have little or no understanding of. A proportion of you are likely to become disabled at some point in your life or love someone who does. Let’s hope that more compassion and understanding is extended to them than has been displayed here.

This isn’t true.

Most caring is done by family carers.

As an example, some ND kids/teens/adults can be fine lots of the time, but melt down or lash out or flee if distressed. Like anyone really, except they can become overwhelmed far more easily. They may require two carers in those moments, not at other times.

They include people with no intellectual impairment. The idea that they’re all in ‘secure accommodation’ is ridiculous.

This isn’t true.

Most caring is done by family carers.

As an example, some ND kids/teens/adults can be fine lots of the time, but melt down or lash out or flee if distressed. Like anyone really, except they can become overwhelmed far more easily. They may require two carers in those moments, not at other times.

They include people with no intellectual impairment. The idea that they’re all in ‘secure accommodation’ is ridiculous.

If children or adults require two carers in order to be safe in public then they will already be living in secure accommodation. The only difference is are they able to leave with carers and if the place they are living has facilities for them to live reasonably, eg get outside, within their security arrangements? It is likely that windows, outside doors, kitchen door, other people’s bedroom doors etc will all be locked. They may well sleep in secure beds.