Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

That means nothing disabilities range from. Very mild to profound and multiple.

I'm disabled. 👍

Being sensible is not smug. It's what normal people do.

Give over!

You know perfectly well, or your working assumption is that it couldn’t be a disabled person because everyone knows disabled people should be kept out of sight at all times. This is a problem with you.

I agree with you to a degree. However I may too get flamed for this but i don't and will not approve or advocate to have the rights of those with tendencies/disabilities to lash out and be violent put above the safety of the public. What sort of world would we live in when violence is deemed acceptable if you had a reasonable excuse or disability to condone it? Especially now when many of those who show unacceptable behaviour is often brushed off with "oh i think they are autistic/, etc). The law to protect would be useless and society would be living in fear.

Years ago, We had a local guy mid 20's with "hidden disabilities" (i think he had aspergers) who r*ped and groomed a school girl. His family pushed all over the media that this guy didn't have the capacity to know that this was wrong and shouldn't face punishment in the same way a NT person should... firstly why shouldn't he be sentenced accordingly? The victim still has no choice but to live with the same scars regardless of who the perpetrator was or what their issues were. To me as an outsider looking in, i accept that he may not have had that capacity but shouldn't his parents/carers/family have made sure that additional knowledge and prevention/protection measures were put in place to reduce the likelihood of an event like this?

In the above instance, for the justice of the young girl, who is actually to blame then? The family/carers for not reducing the risk to the public however that may be? The guys for actually doing this crime, regardless of capacity or not? Or does the girl not deserve justice like other victims because this guy didn't know/understand what he was doing?

So how many millions of pounds did you have saved incase you needed to give up your job and provide for a severely disabled child for the rest of your life? And once you've passed?

Agreed, so if you have children you know it's a risk at any time.

Yes, and ensured that before we started trying, we were in a financial position to cope if one had been disabled.

Far more violent acts are committed by people who do not have an intellectual disability than by those who do. My son who is severely intellectually disabled can when distressed be challenging for care givers to support but he has no interest at all in the general public. He is scared of them.

Fair. To me, though, it's about the quiet bit - "no-one who's not an asshole would say/do...etc".

In other words, "don't be the asshole".

I could be misinterpreting, that happens a lot ;)

Not all conditions are picked up prenatal, some disabilities occur during or after birth.

I assume you're referring to the hair pulling incident?

The autistic man hurt a girl. She comes first. Not be kind, be nice.

Do you have DC?

I don’t think aggressive behaviour should be tolerated because someone is ND… I think that’s where many people draw the line. Not easy x

I am ND and I agree with this.

I am grateful for reasonable adjustments that colleagues make for me at work, and that friends make for me when we socialise or go on holiday.

I would not expect those compromises or adjustments to extend to accommodate violent behaviour.

You must love your child very much, and I feel for you, but you must understand that he isn’t ever going to have friends who will tolerate being assaulted.

I do not think that the issue of unsupported SEN children in classroom causing major disruption is anything to do with increased inclusion. It's far more to do with the total lack of resources schools have to properly support those children and safeguard all pupils.

I disagree. If you plan a child, you know there's a risk that the child will be disabled. That's why scans and testing exists. Perhaps some people don't plan to have a disabled child, but if they're having a child, then they should consider this could be the case.

The thing about reasonable adjustments - the clue is in the name - they have to be REASONABLE.

Adjustments may be unreasonable if to implement them would adversely effect others.

So you might think it a ‘reasonable adjustment’ that child be allowed to remain in the classroom when screaming rather than being removed - but is actually not reasonable because it has a higely detrimental impact on everyone else.

Adjustments are only reasonable to the point that they don’t disproportionately negatively impact the needs and rights of others.

I have worked for a carer of adults with LD, some of whom could be violent when overwhelmed. Their risk assessments covered this extensively and set out how many carers should be with them in which circumstances - down the how close they should be to the person (ie never more than an arms length away, always in sight etc).

If the risk assessment is insufficient, out of date or being ignored, or staff become complacent then THEY should be held to account first and foremost. If the risks cannot be reduced to an acceptable level then the trip put doesn’t happen unfortunately.

Violence is never acceptable.

@Itisbetter I was going to post something similar. A lot of people view certain behaviours as suspicious when they may not be suspicious at all and in fact linked to an invisible disability. This is particularly hard when police and security guards hold those same prejudices.

Sorry for this, but if anybody shouts in my child's face or lays a hand on them, disability or not, I'm reacting quite unfavourably to them. I've put that as politely as I can.

@WalkingonWheels
Why complain about respite? You chose to have children. When you choose to procreate, there is a chance that the child will be disabled/neurodiverse. Complaining about something you chose is the height of entitlement.

This logic is absolutely ridiculous. Getting into a car and knowing there is a chance of an accident does not mean I chose to have an accident.

(Not equating having a disabled child with a car crash here, just talking about the mechanism of choice.)

Noises and stimming are not causing harm to other people, being violent is. We all know that babies have no sense of danger so we wouldn't put them in a situation where for instance they could grab hold of a hot cup of tea. It's the same with adults with severe learning disabilities, it's the job of the carer to keep them safe. That means that if the carer knows they are likely to grab or pull at other people they shouldn't be put in that situation because no one knows how someone will react.

I was once told that I needed to accept that a person at a group I used to attend, has mental health issues and harassed people. He doesn't take responsibility for his behaviour, but expects the rest of us to be ok with it

They weren't happy that I said I was leaving because I'd had enough of being blamed for him being sectioned and his behaviour towards me

I do agree with parts of what you say. However I have a son with autism and we've always had the approach that he may have certain reactions and sensitivities but he can't use autism as an excuse for bad behaviour. We've had to try a lot of different approachs to help him cope in different situations without hurting or causing disruptions to other people. He had a terrible problem with hitting other children when he first started school. We had to have a zero tolerance approach with consequences for every hitting attempt even if he didn't make contact. It was insanely difficult and took a full year but he's now learned to control the impulse and will walk away, exercise or he has a box of soft toys he's allowed to throw when he's angry. I get it though the judgement of others is tough when your in the thick of it all!

I'm absolutely sick to the back teeth of certain people on here who eye roll and sneer that those with hidden disabilities should be treated the same as neuro typical people.

If the person with a disaibilty assaults someone then presumably they won't be treated the same as NT people. It's not up to Joe Public to decide someone's capacity or understanding, that's for the police to decide, in conjunction with the person's associated professionals. Who they will liaise with once a report goes into them.

Non verbal, lashing out? Report to police for assault - how dare they lay a hand on someone else 🙄

If it was a random hit while walking past then I probably wouldn't report but if I was properly assaulted then yes I would. Police reports can also help as it builds up a body of evidence and a paper trail that the person needs more support than they are currently getting.

Can't sit still / constantly stims? Expel them from school - why should my "normal child" be affected?🙄

The child should be given extra support. Perhaps in another class/unit as while the child may not be able to help it, it's also not fair to the other children whose education is being disrupted.

Stares and makes noises? Tell them you're uncomfortable and to stop immediately, we have the right not to be ogled.🙄

I would ignore this.