Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

Actually yes I would call the police on an assault eve if I assumed the person was ND. If nothing else they may be a danger to the public. I wouldn’t call the police on a 4yo as they haven’t reached the age of criminal al responsibility and can’t do the harm a 24yo for example can.

You have actually infantilised ND people OP by assuming none should ever be held to the same standards as NT people. Giving ND a free pass on crime is a very dangerous and slippery slope and also minimises how victims feel.

I have been assaulted by a ND person. It didnt hurt less, it didn’t make me think “Oh but what about him. I’m afraid I did put “me and mine” first. Not sorry.

I don't need to focus on capacity as it's irrelevant in a physical attack.

Would it help to think “what if it was a girl with a similar disability” or “what if it was an elderly lady with dementia” so you are focused on capacity?

But it's strength and impact that are more important in a physical assault. So "what if it was a toddler" makes no sense.

I expect people are trying to compare capacity not strength or impact. Many toddlers have infinitely better communication skills than some learning disabled or non verbal people.

A fully grown man has a massive amount more strength than a toddler and could do an enormous amount more damage to another person.

A toddler has the strength of a toddler. A fully grown man has full adult strength behind them even if they only have the mental age of a toddler.

Not remotely comparable.

I am very much aware of your point but the point I am making is that there is physically a huge difference between a toddler slapping you and a fully grown man slapping you, so asking if you would react in the same way does not make sense.

Really annoys me too!
I have a DD with Autism who is 6 and I am the only person around her who has the patience and calmness she needs from someone at home.

Her dad can’t cope with her and neither can relatives. They all say she needs a smack and to shoved off up to bed. But my calm approach to her helps her. When she is overwhelmed and has scratched me for example, I give her a cuddle to diffuse the situation. Imagine that!

My calmness becomes her calmness.

And I’m sure if she displayed the same challenging behaviours at school (where she masks), the teachers wouldn’t be using abusive techniques towards her. Abuse never works, whether at school or at home. That’s why schools don’t use it and that’s why I don’t use it.

"It’s not ok to be on the receiving end of an assault, whoever is doing it. Surely the person needs to learn it’s not ok?"

Some people will not be capable of learning this but they need managing in such a way that others are kept safe. Also if someone with a learning disability is hitting out we need to look at why they are doing it. A lot of challenging behaviour stems from pain for example.

If someone has a hidden disability that means they may hurt others, then those caring for them need to do everything they can to make sure they don’t.

It’s not ok to be on the receiving end of an assault, whoever is doing it. Surely the person needs to learn it’s not ok?

I know the threads you are talking about and quite frankly if my DD had her hair pulled like that I’d go nuts, not at the person with the hidden disability, but at whoever they were with for not managing their behaviour and for putting them and others in the position of a horrible incident.

"How are they trained to deal with situations if their charge assaults other members of the public or even the carers themselves?"

Carers who work with people with challenging behaviour are supposed to receive training for this. All of my son's carers are trained for this. The public being assaulted should never happen with enough suitable carers who are vigilant and understand the behaviour of the person they are caring for.

How do I know whether the person is intellectually disabled or not? If someone starts hitting me or pulling my hair they are assaulting me and I would react the same way whether they were NT or ND because I'm not going to stand there letting them carry on while I work out what I should do. I may shout, stamp on their foot, kick out (or of course I may freeze) but I'm their welfare is not my responsibility.

Where does it say it's ok for a child with sen in school to attack others?

If someone is violent against me, I will go to the police whether the person is disabled or not.

It's disgraceful that there are now so many threads where young children are violent in school and they are the ones protected.

Pupils being violent is school does not mean they are SEN. They may be, they may not be. From a victim/parents/other children point of view they may not see any action because they have no right to know what action has been taken. (Though other children are not always protected as they should be).

I like to think that I am in general tolerant of, and considerate towards, disabled people.

However, I absolutely draw the line at me or my family being assaulted//injured in any way. That goes for everyone, whether disabled or not. Why shouldn't I?

Every member of the public has the right to go about their lives without fear of assault and injury.

Carers are obviously needed for some people in order for them to get out and about. Are there enough carers? Is there sufficient funding for them (probably not)? How are they trained to deal with situations if their charge assaults other members of the public or even the carers themselves?

That's fair enough, I overlooked the possibility of being on the other side of the playground - I'm never on the other side of the playground because my daughter has learning disabilities.

You can’t compete a 4 year old to an adult who is neurodiverse. The case of the mother witnessing her daughters hair being pulled could have ended very nastily as it was an adult with adult strength not a 4 year old who you’d literally be able to man handle and get them to let go. Ridiculous comparison.

But the carer in the case being referred to should have been aware/stepped in and absolutely should have stopped the second time.

That's the issue

If you're happy for someone to attack you or yours so be it...

If you expect others to find it not only acceptable but to have to put up with someone lashing out and attacking them just because they have any form of disability you're part of why we have a growing violent population.

Your talking about SEN children in particular, do you mean only they are protected? Where is the evidence? How do you know this? Stop assuming! What about all the other children who bully SEN kids are they protected from them? What about SEN kids whos needs are not met. You have no idea what it's like until you have a disability or a child with SEN.

*is disabled.

Which if fine if you are only two steps away. If they are the other side of the playground I would shout as I ran towards them.

This.

Not a chance that any living being would get away with that. I’d be failing my child by not standing up for them.

I have remembered another point. The rule that was displayed most prominently at his special school, both in words and pictures was "We keep our hands and feet to ourselves." Disability was never allowed to be used as an excuse. If you are out and about with your son and realise he is about to lash out at someone, you MUST intervene and you MUST be apologetic if the worst comes to the worst and you MUST make him aware and understand that he is never allowed to hurt anyone, that he is in big trouble and will be punished for any misdemeanor of this nature. I think that the reason the problem has reached this stage is that you have been telling yourself and everyone else that he can't help it because he has disabled. It should have been nipped in the bud from the beginning. It will be much harder now, but you MUST persevere or he will end up in real trouble.