Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

So if someone with a disability killed your son you would say ‘that’s ok, they couldn’t help it’?

It’s not ok. I understand that it might not be the persons fault but that doesn’t change the fact that someone had been assaulted. Better supervision or in worst cases, secure accommodation is required.

@Whatthebarnacles if I could like your post x1000 I would.

As someone who works with children and young people with autism and fights for their rights legally, I absolutely despair at some of the recent threads on here.

It is the biggest privilege of my life to work with such amazing children and young people - how anyone can judge someone on a scared, anxious, externalising behaviour which is highlighting their internal overwhelm I have no idea.

When deciding on a primary school for my daughter, I deliberately chose a mainstream state school over a local private setting as I feel so strongly that I want her to grow up with an inclusive mind and to accept all children for who they are. Within her school there are plenty of “children disturbing the lesson” - give a shit.

Learning to be kind, compassionate and inclusive to all is a far greater lesson in life than any maths or English lesson that may have a “five min disruption “. Remind me of the last time you all used trigonometry….

The current discourse (led by the orange dick in America) around disabilities is genuinely terrifying.

But I promise you, your son will always be welcomed, loved and accepted in my world. And by future generations who are being shown we are all equal, valued humans.

Well remember the Jonty Bravery case where a man with autism and also PD diagnoses (he was unable to live 100%/independently due to them IIRC) pushed a child off a balcony in an art gallery, badly injuring the child? Would posters on MN have been ok with him getting away with it? I wouldn't. He should have been in a residential secure unit, not in the community.

people saying about when someone with a disability injures another person and it’s not ok- do you understand that they can’t help hurting other people. My son is autistic and during his meltdowns he will lash out and hurt himself or others - 90% of the time I’m on the receiving end of that. He cannot comprehend what he is during in that moment, but as soon as he is out of that ‘mindset’ and calms down he comprehends what he has done and cannot apologise enough and feels guilty for the rest of the day. It’s not like these children or adults do it on purpose and blames it on their disability, they physically cannot help it.

also the people saying ‘well I have autism and I don’t hurt people’ - I hope you realise disabilities are a spectrum and just because some don’t doesn’t mean some do. I really would have thought people who struggle with it themselves or have children with it would have more understanding or compassion but it seems to be the complete opposite

He was found guilty of the murder of the woman and child destruction. He was not found guilty of the murder of the unborn baby, as legally that is not possible in England. My original comment is correct.

Oh that poor woman and her baby. That's horrendous. 'Days away from giving birth'. 😟 That's made me feel so sad. I do wish murdering a pregnant woman who's that far along counts as two murders. There have been several cases like that over the years and every time I read about them something in me breaks. (Abortion, whether before the 24 week limit for any reason, or medically necessary after that point, being an entirely different thing.)

Why on earth do you think that? I would argue that people with hidden disabilities make up some of the most vulnerable people in society, although everyone has their own story to tell. But to enlighten you, you can be incredibly ill and not look it. Your attitude downplays the very valid suffering of people with invisible disabilities and I feel is dismissive.

‘Needing two carers doesn’t necessarily mean you are “potentially dangerous” it could mean you have life threatening seizures or are a flight risk or can’t always get home unaided. It’s also quite possible that the support worker is not needed for “company” but more for safety (eg someone who can’t ask for directions but get lost easily’

Okay :

asking directions … given that they walk up and down the lane (which has only one very uninviting footpath going off it ) pretty much every day unless very cold or pouring with rain…doubtful

Flight risk : total failure there then, as detailed

Seizures: don’t know but Unmade rural cul-de-sac not a great choice for a walk in this case.

None of these ‘explanations’ answered why the Carers do not walk near the guy, and are immersed in their smartphones rather than performing their (presumable) job of looking after him and being active companions. So he can run off and enter gardens and houses at will

I understand that their role is to ‘look after’ the client, but they are not fulfilling this role. So next time they negligently allow him to go into someone’s house or garden and the householder does not placate or satisfy their uninvited guest and the situation escalates……

Too late to say lessons have been learnt for the small child on the Tate roof - except of course they haven’t.

Exactly. If the only way into a building was a wheelchair track, that meant only I could access it, but 30 people who don't use a wheelchair couldn't, I wouldn't expect them to just not have access. And that's not even comparable really, as it doesn't involve children being hurt.

There ISN'T provision though. There are no places in special schools, no funding for extra support workers and the answer is just to let children and teachers be attacked, hurt, terrified etc instead? Sure.

I agree with @Whatthebarnacles regarding severe developmental disabilities that mean someone has the mind and/or ability (or lack of rather) to regulate their emotions as a toddler but I had a parent who had mental issues and trauma and was probably on the spectrum (albeit high functioning) and he was horrendously abusive. Yes they were sick but I'm ND too (BPD/EUPD, CPTSD, OCD, and some horrendous physical issues including ME/CF S, PCOS and FND) and his abuse broke me and I almost lost my life from it. No I won't go back and be his carer now he is old! I Forgive but I don't forget). Lashing out was bad enough but the constant gaslighting, name calling, threatening violence , shouting, manipulation, those things aren't accidental or a momentary loss of control . As a child I believed "daddy has a bad temper and he is scary" now I believe that it went far beyond temper tantrums.

I'm autistic. In my last job I had a man shouting at me, while he was shouting at me (I was terrified, he was a lot bigger than me,) he told me he had Asperger's. His mum (I assume) stood by and did nothing. A customer went and fetched the store manager because she could see the state I was in. Obviously not the same as my experience, but there are some people who believe that you should never ever report someone who's autistic to the police, no matter what they've done.

Well , the flight risk or the safety options were not being fulfilled in my experience!

They don’t call them after the event. They call them because they are at risk from their child’s behaviour at that point.

I don't blame them

You can't hit them back

I haven't come across any myself. People tend to be respectful, but I'm sure there may be. It's threads on disabled children see a lot of. I just think MNHQ are crap at managing them. They aren't a discussion for AIBU if someone is genuinely asking for help.

YANBU. I notice lots of people replied to your OP saying hitting isn't OK..

Where did the OP say hitting is OK? She didn't.

I think because there's been an increase in diagnoses of neurodivergence people's tolerance has decreased and people think it's just a label now.

Only those who actually live with it day to day know what a load of BS that is.

Lots of schools manage it. Ours does. We actually don’t have many children who are violent as we provide good provision and meet the needs of all children. Our SEN figures are far higher than the national average too.

Yes, they should. Bullying should also not be tolerated.

But you didn’t answer my point about how the school provide the other children with an education - including non-violent children with SEN - when there is a violent child,

It depends. If violence is due to inadequate provision, teaching or bullying then actually no one they shouldn’t be removed. I take it you think bullies of children with Sen and ND should be removed too .

So how are the schools meeting the other 29 children's right to an education, some of who may have SEN themselves?

Violence has no place in a classroom. If a child is violent, they need to be removed for everyone else”s safety, disability or no disability (although the consequences for the child would of course be different depending on the cause and whether they can control the violence)

So up the provision. Re the bullying and attacks on kids with ND and Sen what is to be done about that?

Teaching unions are also speaking out about pupil attacks on teachers - often as a result of inadequate SEN support.

www.heraldscotland.com/news/24631565.education-scotland-broken-says-eis-fife-secretary/

Who says? Not how it works,
places dont become available they just aren’t there And actually not every parent can home educate and all children are entitled to an education. Some outbursts may not even be the fault of the child.

Yep. So many posts along the lines of disabled people are fine as I long as they are a) just like us normal people or b) locked up.

Chilling really when you think about where this sort of intolerance and scapegoating has historically led.