Had an argument with my boyfriend this morning

good grief ! grow up

cuddling/snoozing for at least 10 mins after the alarm went off ?

surely you set the alarm for the time you want/need to get up ?!!!

or is ' snuggling ' just another word for morning sex before you both get up, and he wasn't up for it this morning.

Non event turned into a drama. High maintenance nightmare.

Sorry to derail @Hwi, but please could you point me in the direction of said German poetry?

As you all were!

I voted YABU, btw, not so much because of the hair thing but because of the relentless neediness that followed. From what your boyfriend says there's been too much of that to suit him already. I just don't think you're fundamentally suited - you probably realise that at some level, hence the constant need for reassurance, but there's nothing he can say that will reassure you because you're ultimately not each other's person and you know it.

Edited to add tag

I am not a morning person so to be honest if you were demanding things of me while I was waking up you would have got a right mouthful

It's OP that is whining about how she "can't do anything right", not her partner.

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

get outta here, OP. When my DH is already up and out (he gets up stupidly early and i don't so it's most days) and i have my alarm on, i have been known to use the snooze button for up to an hour for me to fully wake up. You are not the boss of him, so you don't need to monitor his getting up time.

Goodness, you sound exhausting!

Why would your hair need to be looked at?! You were in bed, how would you know what it looked like and why would that matter.

Poor chap.

Janet Fitch in White Oleander wrote brilliantly about people's attitude to other people's sleep. Basically, you can tell whether people appreciate/love/respect you by the way they let you/don't let you sleep, if they respect your sleep. In that book it was about male domination/patriarchy - i.e. when the main protagonist (fostered girl) and her foster mum woke up and foster dad slept, they crept around like ghosts, not making a sound, respecting his sleep. When he woke up and they were asleep, he made noise because he did not care a jot. Same theme in German poetry where undisturbed sleep is a manifestation of true love. You example was an instance of exquisite selfishness. I do understand why your BF was angry.

He is definitely not a morning person. Nothing you or he can do about that. Just enjoy the cuddles quietly.

I have been told by numerous people, including my mum, that I am very annoying in the morning. They love me dearly but I need to shut the fuck up. Once told, that is what I do. No hard feelings. There’s the whole of the rest of the day to talk.

Thing is, his alarm had gone off..he should have been awake anyway!

He doesn't have to snap to attention the second you demand it, especially not to look at or listen to something as inconsequential and unimportant as your funny hair.

He probably allows himself a bit of time to come round. Most people do. He doesn't deserve to have you prodding and needling him awake like some hungry cat or dog or impatient toddler peeling his eyelids back for him and getting right up in his face saying 'are you awake Daddy?'

Grow up. You sound like a narcissistic overgrown child.

You’re not his mum. Stop being so pathetic.

Ahh, since it transpires you have posted several threads of a similar nature, I would question whether these are genuine or just someone’s weird sense of humour? If genuine, you definitely need therapy. You are a child in an adult’s body.

Wtf is this all about

Mountains and molehills

No just no!

I don't think this will end well

You are NOT listening!! Ffs grow up! Your neediness and childish 'oh love me, hug me, make me feel better' act made him late for work!! Are you for real?? Christ alive!! 🤦‍♀️

You post about things like this a lot, don't you? I recognise this relationship. You are immature, needy and argumentative. You brain seems to work like that of a toddler. You have no concept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your whims. Your boyfriend is a saint. He will probably leave you eventually and it wouldn't be a day too soon.

You sound pathetic and I’m embarrassed for you that you had to start this thread.

I died of boredom from the sheer tedium of the issue.

At one point I told him to look at me because something funny had happened with my hair

What had happened with your hair? Short of it turning into a nest of baby adders overnight I can't think why you'd even raise this. You are being weird and unreasonable in the extreme.

Thing is his alarm had already gone off… he should’ve been up anyway!

But he's a grown man and will get up when he feels like it.

It's fine, he didn't want to open his eyes and look at something in the morning, he was half asleep.

You should have just left it at that.

This is not a big deal but you're making it one. I can see his point.

I imagine you wrote that with your bottom lip stuck out

Ffs. It is not that you are annoying or can't do anything right, he just doesn't want you to wake him up for chit chat when snoozing. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or care about you and you shouldn't need reassured that you are loved after he makes one very basic request. You are making it difficult/impossible for him to express an opinion in case you take it as a personal attack/lack of love and care.

Should have been

You "you seem annoyed"

Him "i didn't like being told to look at you when still half asleep, I want to wake up in my own time"

You "oops, sorry I didn't think. Won't happen again"

Him "no worries, your hair was funny"

You sound incredibly whiney and immature. Poor bloke just wanted to remain in that twilight between being a sleep and waking up and there's you like a petulant child asking him to look at your hair!

He has no interest in your hair!

Childish attention seeking and acting petulant is a massive turn off for any man.

IMHO you should both be more sensitive to each other.

Everyone needs a bit of space. Even though an alarm’s gone off, it doesn’t mean he should immediately wake up and give you attention. You should wait until he’s awake.

He should be sensitive that you may feel more fragile and in need of reassurance at certain points in your menstrual cycle.

Once you feel less emotional, have a chat in the spirit of being empathetic and conciliatory to each other.