to tell ex that if parents evening is that important, he can sodding well go?

This is just so ridiculous. Governors of special schools need to know about the difficulties for which the school caters because it will dictate the way the school is organised and indeed how it is built. For example, do the children need small classes or large ones; what sort of pupil:teacher ratio do they need; do they need provision for small group and 1:1 work; do they need sensory rooms, therapy rooms, hydrotherapy pools etc; do they need acoustic panelling and sound dampening in the classrooms; do they need hearing loops, or guides for poor sight; do they need wider corridors and larger doorways to accommodate wheelchairs; do they need hoists; do they need help with toileting and incontinence; do they need special diets. You don't have to have any individual child's personal details to equip yourself with basic information like this.

And with just one word you reveal you know nothing about special needs. Very, very few children with SEN have them because of "diseases". Governors in a special school cannot do their job properly without at least some knowledge of the areas of learning difficulty which their school is working with.

Did you not notice that OP is going to meetings at the school about this supposedly forgotten child once a fortnight? She'd have to be going some to feel forgotten in those circumstances.

You were chair of governors at special schools but didn't know what "ND" meant?

That's quite some achievement. Didn't you read anything about learning difficulties?

Why would it upset her father if he has never bothered to go himself? Plus, if he takes a genuine interest in his child, he will know that OP sees the HOY once a fortnight and therefore it's absolutely correct that she has all the relevant information already.

OP didn't "bawl him out because he wasn't going either". She didn't bawl at all, given that this was all in writing. She merely pointed out the logical corollary to his criticism of her.

Why does OP need a new partner? Does it occur to you she may be perfectly happy without a man to validate her?

You really do have major problems with your reading comprehension.

''If he thought it was important he should go himself''. Could that be taken as a reminder that he had never taken an interest in any of his children? This it hurtful. How would anyone reply to that?

If he took that as meaning that he had never taken an interest in his only child, tough - if the truth hurt him, it was no-one's fault but his own. No-one with half a brain would reply by saying OP was a bad mother for refusing to go this time, not least because they would have been able to work out that it was just inviting a comparison with their own failure to go ever.

If this little exchange makes him think a bit before making utterly stupid accusations against OP, I'd say that was a definite win. I don't understand why you don't see that.

Because I have a right to free speech, as have you.

Wow there really are some hard-of-thinking people on this thread.

Good on you @PyongyangKipperbang for standing up to him. He has no right to insult you for not doing something he's never done himself.

Why did you think fit to respond to this poster? Did you arrange to take up issues on behalf of the OP?

You know what? The OP complained that 'all the posters have not answered her question, which was not about the meet teacher, but the row she had with her X over going, and what he said to her.

I commented on that, and she didn't like that either. I suggested if she had not responded to him, but ended the message, he would have been unable to say anything bad to her.

I suppose you would say the night was filled with sunshine if I said it was dark.

Parents would be horrified if they thought their children were being discussed in meetings of Governors. The children are placed in a school according to their needs, and the Governors meet to discuss the school, not the pupils.

The School Governors only discuss the school needs and the supply of them. They also interview and appoint Head Teachers with advice.

The placement of children in schools is for the local authority who employ people to do that. Anything to do with the child is confidential.

The difference between my opinion and yours is that I’ve read the full thread. You clearly haven’t.

@Lovelysausagedogscrumpy It's not meant to be for her DD to decide. Lazy assed parenting is what it is.

I just read your posts and you are absolutely correct to tell your Ex that he should go to the parents evening if he is that bothered about it. It’s your choice not to go and if you are not concerned about your DD, then I can see it being a waste of time. My twins are in the Y9 and I went to every bloody parents evening since they started school and a lot of time it was just the same stuff over and over again. They chose GCSE subjects in Y8 and now they are preparing for it, but my Ex ( their dad ) still doesn’t remember what subjects they did choose and he has them 50/50

I said upthread i'd been through this with my ex. He makes a MASSIVE ass of himself every parents evening for both kids, but has NEVER attended a single one.

The usual routine is he gets an email, i get yelled at because i don't go to every one and they VITALLY IMPORTANT, and then i get a rant about how the school are being unfair to working parents and purposely trying to exclude him.. even though if he wanted to go he could just book appointments later in the day (our sons are all during school hours, SN school/colleges) or arrange a phonecall which is offered for parents who can't make it.

He makes threats to email/send shitty phonecalls to the schools, and i make it known to the school that his behaviour is all his own and nothing to do with me or my children.

He never does any of it.. just blows up, abuses me, makes my life hell for a day or two, then goes quiet.

Rinse Repeat.

I just don't bother telling him now, and shut down any conversation about it. DD15 is in her GCSE year and he seems, after 8 years, to have finally decided to just let me update him if i do attend them.

Oh my goodness , I’ve been out all day, had several drinks and @llizzie is still spouting BS.

feel so sorry for this very reasonable OP that her thread has been completely derailed by this loon

This reply wasn’t to you, but I’ll bite. You’ve been told numerous times now that OP is very involved with DD’s school. She is in regular contact every couple of weeks with DD’s head of year - you’re very handy with the supercilious put downs but you’ve yet to explain what you think OP would gain from the parents’ evening given that she’s comprehensively up to date on DD’s progress and makes it her business to be so.

There was also no ‘argument’ between OP and her ex. He asked a question, she answered it, and because he’s a controlling narcissistic arse and OP wasn’t obeying him, he kicked off at her. Not the other way around.

Oh and by the way your ableism is showing again. Because she is ND doesn’t mean that DD isn’t more than capable of making decisions for herself. She’s clearly doing well, knows what she wants and is being given the autonomy she deserves. So it’s back to Google for you then, because you clearly think ND means some sort of learning disability. Sorry to disappoint.

I didn’t say it wears me out did I ? I can challenge your bullshit all night.

In your post of 00.38 you said:

'I see now that I was too kind. You refused to attend the child's meet teacher evening because you didn't think it was worth going, as you were only going to be told what you knew already, that your DD was doing well.

I can see why that would upset her father.'

You can't even keep track of your own hideous posts but then deny saying the things that other posters have challenged you about.