To be angry that the NHS doesn’t take pain seriously?

I think a lot of GPs (though many are excellent and doing a great job) and others are focused on acute, horrible conditions that are going to kill you in the short term and not chronic, painful conditions that are hard to live with, might stop you working, and lead to poor health long term. This partly is their training and partly I think it's a consequence of 15 years of underfunding.

The current government are negotating new GP contracts. It would be a great time to contact your MP and get your voice heard. They might even be able to achieve meaningful change. Also good luck, OP, and I'm glad they have finally diagnosed you.

No it was a man and not in London. So there are 2 doctors going around saying that to patients.

Well that's great that you never had any issues; and sorry about your Dad.

However - the OP has a point - particularly if you're a young female with pain. It took over 8 years for me to be diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (I'm sero-negative - so doesn't show on a simple blood test)

The relief now I'm on methotrexate is phenomenal../ I feel like it's only because I was persistent stubborn that it ever got treated.

I ended up getting a private MRI because three separate GPs sent me away saying nothing was wrong. I read my medical notes and they also completely misinterpreted / dismissed what I said.

I DID have a tumour. Wasn’t cancer. Needed to be removed.

I actually ended up going privately because the NHS was taking too long and leaving it there was risking long term damage. (I couldn’t afford it easily, but it’s the body I have to live inside for the next - hopefully - 50/60 years so I didn’t want permanent damage!)

The NHS is an absolute shambles. They only take you seriously if it’s life-threatening.

I now have medical insurance.

I didn't realise how bad women's health was until I had a baby. Had a very distressing 6 week check up with a female GP who seemed annoyed I asked for my stitches checked. Diagnosed me with a prolapse pretty much said what do you expect you've had a baby

Yanbu, my pain/illnesses tend to either be not that bad (I could barely function) or “anxiety” 🙄

I had some sarcastic shit from my doctor yesterday. I have a destroyed hip. The pain is terrible, everyday at work is a nightmare. I'm on the list for orthopaedic surgery. He wanted to take me off my painkillers. I burnt his ears and put the phone down. My surgery considers me "difficult" for not putting up with this bullshit.
I send formal complaints in every single time and that gives them so much time wasting hassle that they eventually stop with the dismissive behaviour and give you what you want. I can tell they all hate me. I don't care.

It starts young with women and girls as well. My daughter broke her leg at the age of 2. We were told by the hospital that it probably wasn't broken as she wasn't crying and screaming. It was broken and she ended up in plaster for 8 weeks.

Female pain is ignored by the medical profession. We should just get on with it and cause no fuss so they can take their time looking after the men.

The NHS is dimissive of everything. It needs a massive overhaul. I’m sick of the cult status it receives. Totally underserved

I think in this case, the stick is shitty at both ends. I think the NHS is at a point where it can barely cope with all the acute issues, and therefore doesn't (cannot?) properly support the chronic issues until they themselves become accute.

I think it's also true that women's pain is consistently downplayed compared to men.

So it gets you coming and going unfortunately!!

Mortality rates and life expectancy don’t show the full picture though. There are a great many conditions that are unlikely to kill you but have a significant impact on your quality of life through chronic pain, mobility impairment etc - and in my (and clearly a lot of other people’s!) experience, pain isn’t regarded by doctors as a ‘problem’, especially if you are female.

I think I have a slightly unusual perspective because I work in veterinary medicine. We prioritise welfare (and a huge part of that is being pain free) above everything else (even over longevity) so it’s especially jarring for me when doctors seem to dismiss pain as a symptom that the patient needs to shut up about. I’d like to be treated at least as well as a dog, please…

Ah I totally agree although it’s all dependent on what doctor you see. I presented at an and e with an excruciating gallbladder attack and was treated as a drug seeker. It’s a shame because every other time I’ve had amazing care.
Pain is very subjective and nobody should be stopped from having the correct treatment

Was it a female doctor in the pain clinic at St Thomas's? I had the exact same thing said to me.

It's not me who brought up men in the first place. And if me expressing offence because I've lost much loved male family members who weren't taken seriously either makes me a "whinger" then so be it. I've seen excellent care towards my mother and non-existent care towards my dad and grandad (all cancer). One of them is still here and it ain't the males. Nice job proving you're not sexist btw, but you're obviously among good company 👏

The symptoms of lumbar and cervical stenosis are what sent me to my GP complaining that the distance I could walk was getting less and less... something was wrong. I was told to lose weight, walk more.
I went again when my ability to walk without leaning forward on a shopping trolley practically vanished and I could barely get up my own stairs.

I was told to go for more walks, oh and take these sleeping tablets because the 'waking up gasping for breath' is simply panic attacks in the night. Yes thats normal even if you've never had one in the day...

My parter shook me awake, practically booting me out of the bed to wake me as I'd gone a funny shade of blue. They weren't panic attacks. I wasn't breathing.

I went back.. again and again. Eventually a Dr gave me diuretics, which helped. He sent me to an endocrinologist too... because I could not possibly have:

Stenosis
Hypothyroid
Heart failure
As a result of something else

Nor could I be hyper mobile.

But I was, did, do.. have all those things.

I have Ehlers Danlos (classic like) - however the stenosis was ignored much longer because I have heart failure and that was more important... until it wasn't because by that point I was too fat and too much of a risk in other ways to do heart surgery on (though tbh, having seen how badly my sisters went, I don't think I want it!)... so just manage the heart failure, go away.

I'd be able to walk if it were not for the significant nerve damage, that, on reviewing MRI's id had for other things and boney changes showing on xrays, is clear as a fucking bell. Stuff I'd asked to be reviewed in case other issues could be picked up, for YEARS.

I went to physios, they couldn't help, they weren't set up for the wheelchair user I by that point, was. Some were not even accessible venues.

I went back to GP's. No, can't be, you're just unfit... it's carpal tunnel, its sciatica...

So now they eventually agree it is... I was right, I'd been right for over a fucking decade. Only because I have demonstrated in person that I can cut off the feeling to my right hand by turning my head 'just so', and that I can't feel half my back ever, or tell whether I need a shit or not. Thats when they decided to review stuff they already had on file.

It is far too late to do anything and I'll stay in this wheelchair til I fucking die.

Hurrah the NHS, and their insistance that everything wrong with you is in your head, because you're fat, because you're female.

I'm in England and have had his many times too! Husband also actually. I won't ever bother again. I see a sports physio now (I do run but haven't always) and she's amazing and has helped so much with some pains that I've had for 25 years.

I just don't bother going to the GP as think there's absolutely no point. For almost anything. I always come away feeling stupid and pathetic. It's a 'what's the point'

I suffer from some very very odd spasms in my body. Definitely not the usual cramps. Like I get them in my stomach and tongue and I regularly have parts of me that just lock up and won't move. Finally built up the courage to go and she seemed very confused and later when I looked at my notes it said I'd gone in for nighttime cramps. That is not what I said at all, in any way shape or form! So none the wiser and obviously still happening despite me trying so many things

Ironically sat typing this as am awake as in pain. Counting down to my private appointment with my physio instead

The link you provided seems willfully dishonest. It starts by saying that the gender gap differs between countries (in some men do better, in some women do better). It then focuses on the UK, and cites 3 studies to show that women do worse. Out of those 3 studies, two of them are actually about American healthcare (!) and the other one focuses on one specific illness (dementia) where women have worse outcomes. But its equally easy to cherrypick specific illnesses where men have worse outcomes.

If then mentions 3 enquiries -- the first focuses on an individual surgeon and has no real relevance. The second isnt about a gender gap. The third is about childbirth (which men dont go through, and hence has no relevance to a gender gap).

In what universe do you think that any of this is remotely strong supporting evidence?

Has anyone looked into getting a healthcare advocate? I've been trying to get one for a few years now with no luck albeit my issues are everything except pain (so far any way). I was wondering if I could just ask a lawyer to come to my appointments (for their skills of arguing and persuading), even if they weren't a real healthcare advocate - it would be expensive but I can't see any alternative at this point and I have speech and language issues so can't advocate for myself (they're not eligible for advocacy - you seem to need a mental health condition, autism or dementia for that). So sorry for everyone living with chronic pain.

I'm so very sorry this has happened. It's an outrage. I wish more people could hear this story.

If the normal GP was genuinely unable to refer you, the question has to be asked why this was. Your MP might be able to help.

This isn’t about the actions of male/female patients, it’s about how men and women are often treated differently, especially as regards pain. And how gynaecological problems are ignored/dismissed. It’s the actions of clinicians - male and female - that are at fault, not patients.
And it’s not just a few anecdotal observations, it’s actual, known, well documented facts.

https://lordslibrary.parliament.uk/womens-health-outcomes-is-there-a-gender-gap/

Someone is being shat on, and it’s not the poor men.

My husband (well-spoken, articulate, white) once suggested that he go to the Drs and claim to have my pain in order to get some pain relief for me! He’d noticed he’s given whatever he asks for and sent for a barrage of tests as soon as he even sniffs in the GPs direction.

No. Men do not have the same failures in healthcare that women experience.

Failures in healthcare are very specific to gender. Please read the thread of women’s experiences on here, or at least do some credible research.

Whinging about the “poor men” and the “sexist women” makes you part of the problem.

@CalleOcho you sound lovely. Is it beyond your comprehension that men will have the same failures in healthcare which are non-specific to gender? And that male only health issues will also have failures-as per a previous point I made about lack of willing in doctors to give men PSA tests. Some of us have lost male family members through atrocious (or non-existent) NHS "care" for christ's sake.

”feel big by shitting on men”

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oooh, the poor men. Us nasty women on Mumsnet are so sexist aren’t we? 🙄

I'm so sorry. That is disgusting. And yes, I can well believe it.

It’s really shit op. I’m in bad pain with an ovarian cyst: Have had them before and they have always been misdiagnosed on ultrasound as smaller than they were and fluid cysts, when in fact they’re dermoid cysts. Only ever get diagnosed correctly via MRI.
Ive decided I’m going to try and save up for an MRI (they have them starting from £250 ) as I’m sick of the pain. Hopefully that will speed things up a bit.