To be angry that the NHS doesn’t take pain seriously?

I think that women tolerate pain better than men. I also think we are conditioned to just carry on with extreme pain. So we keep going with normal life despite being in agony.
So if you tell the doctor you are in pain but they see you walking in a fairly normal manner and hear you are still at work/ looking after the children/ walking the dog, then they think it can't be that bad. What they don't seem to understand is that you will keep going until you drop because you literally have no other choice.
They have to use their experience to try and judge what may be going on as sadly they can't get everyone scanned or referred to specialist services. So if they are used to seeing patients who look like they are in the same level of pain you are presenting with and there is normally nothing that warrants further investigation in those cases then that is what they will expect to find. And that is how they will then treat you. GP's know a little about a lot of things but they are not experts in any one condition.
Unfortunately, as most of us don't go to the Dr much and when we do we rarely see the same doctor twice they don't realise that what you are saying is extremely unusual for you.
I have a pretty high pain threshold and have suffered with that attitude a lot. When having my first child they told me there was no way I was in labour because I wasn't in enough pain. They only agreed to examine me because they had a new batch of students in. Turns out I was 8cm dilated. The same thing happened with my gallbladder and my arthritis.
I don't know what the answer is but like many others it infuriates me when my DH goes to the Dr with a minor irritation and, because he fits some demographic, he gets all sorts of tests and referrals. I can go with the exact same issue and get told to come back in a month if things don't improve.

Medics do get it wrong at times like any profession. But some complaints are also because patients do not understand medicine.

So 95% of people over 50 have degeneration in their back, usually in their discs. I have it, nearly everyone at my age has. The NHS has a criteria for an MRI in your back. The idea is that you get an MRI if it looks like surgery may be needed. Because otherwise an MRI is not useful, but costs money.

I have had a back x ray to check for a fracture, so I know I have degeneration in my discs. But knowing that does not change my treatment i.e. painkillers and physio. If we are going to pay for nearly everyone over 50 to have an MRI, we need to increase taxes to pay for the extra MRIs and staff.

Yes animals are put down when we would not put a human down. Is that a good thing or not?

Depends how long he had the cough. A persistent cough is a symptom of lung cancer.
Lump in throat and a sore throat is common and not something that would flag throat cancer. By the way dentists are best at recognising the early signs of throat cancer which is why check ups are important. Early signs are usually visible on the skin inside your mouth.

I have had two hip replacements privately in the last year ( thankfully DH had some insurance through his work). I saw an NHS consultant first, who even though on my X-ray he could see bone on bone arthritis in both hips, caused by dysplasia, said I was too young for a hip replacement ( I am 52) ,and questioned whether I was in enough pain to merit being put on the list. He also said I had ‘excellent mobility’ even though I was really struggling to walk. So no- you are not being unreasonable in my opinion.

This! It's an absolute lottery whether they'll agree to refer you for an x-ray, MRI scan or CT scan.

Nope, my OH spent a couple of years trying to get a succession of GPs to take him seriously, it's definitely not just women. GPs fob everyone off.

I've just had results back from my MRI, which I got after years of horrendous back pain, losing feelings in my left leg, reduced-nil genital sensation etc etc... basically got told that yes there is degeneration, but that's old age (I'm 37), and there is some bugling with discs that could be why I have nerve pain/issues, but I'm not that bad to warrant any intervention. They will if I become paralysed, but as it's fleeting due to nerve pinches, it's not and emergency. Besides pain is subjective, so take paracetamol if I need to! Great, thanks for that. I give up.

I had a spinal block with DD's C-section. When the spinal block wore off the midwives tried to fob me off with just paracetamol. Yes, really. The pain was horrific.

When I had my tummy tuck at a private hospital I was very nervous about pain after the surgery. I never felt a single twinge or soreness because my pain relief was expertly managed with powerful painkillers.

Our hospital board has hydrotherapy pools in three hospitals. They're all empty and drained. Even privately I can't find one.

My dogs on the other hand have three to choose from.

It has occurred to me several times before that I would have been put down by now if I was a dog.

I'm not suggesting I should be euthanised on the NHS, but telling me to go away and try pretending I'm not in pain is quite shocking when you consider that an animal in the same amount of pain as me would be put down.

I completely agree with you.
Sorry it has taken so long for you to get a diagnosis.
A/E Department refused to x ray my back last year. I was in terrible pain. Told me to go home & take Paracetamol.
Eventually paid for an MRI. Revealed arthritis, bulging disc & fracture at L3.
I know longer felt a fraud for complaining.
Something really needs to be done!

Sorry meant to quote ^^ About a patient advocate.

I am a medical professional and have worked in the NHS for 45 years. I can tell you the care is diabolical and I have to research all of my medical problems .myself and practically present them with a thesis before they will even think about taking me seriously.

I looked into when my consultant was a total cunt and treated me like shit.

Apparently they’re usually via charities for people with disabilities.

I would have willingly have paid for someone to help me but such a thing doesn’t seem to exist. I think there is a real gap in the market here.

This could be a job done by ex medical staff.

Umm, not quite, been living with this since 2012, Cauda Equina, chronic debilitating pain, the stuff below my waist only works when it wants to.

My daughter had extensive spinal surgery at 13. A few years after she started to get chronic pain. Wanted to be referred to a pain clinic to learn to cope with it. Guess what, all the pain clinics had been closed - to save money! (Scotland)
The GP was sympathetic (!) but could offer no help - for a 16 year old in constant pain.

I think the NHS is good at dealing with things that might actually kill you, so RTA, heart attack, cancer etc.
However if you are in awful pain but it’s not actually going to kill you then forget it, they are not interested.

Physically I saw my GP in March 2023. Sciatica given pain killers the MRI, physio I sorted myself.

Saw GP last month lump in breast. Fast tracked to breast clinic. Others over the phone.

So twice ftf in two years.

I've now got bad stomach issues, phone consultation in January Omeprazole, gaviscon. Second month had to fight for more omeprazole. Now in third month still struggling again omeprazole cancelled.

Phoned surgery this morning spoke to reception. No appointments left at 9am is it an emergency. We're short staffed. I said yes. I'm tired of being nice. Husband had a chesty cough was called in same morning had antibiotics and steroids.

There are a huge number of women who are diagnosed with MH conditions following years of abuse. This trauma, presenting with the same symptoms in men is diagnosed as PTSD and treated much more kindly. The book Sexy but Psycho talks about this much more articulately, going into all of the ways that normal biological responses (if they present in women) have been medicalised and demonised.

There is also a connection between long term trauma and later life chronic pain, the nervous system can only take so much and the body starts to send crazy signals which is extremely distressing.

I went through years of waiting for tests and appointments and eventually got to a pain specialist who in the course of a lot of appointments signposted me to all sorts of articles and books to help explain to me that pain doesn't always have a cause. And that can't be fixed.

Hear, hear. I have been referred to a physiotherapist about excruciating back pain, and she told me it was likely to be 'stress'. So sorry about what you've been through.

I am so very sorry that you have gone through this @LilyJosephine. How awful and how frustrating. Your post is very timely for me as I am suffering with back pain after falling down the stairs and feel I have been fobbed off a lot. They won't x-ray me because they say if I had broken something, I would be in more pain and would be incontinent. How do they know what the pain is like for the individual? We all manifest it differently. This is aslo despite me telling them that the pain is unbearable. I have also been told that I can walk and get on with my chores, so I must be okay. I am a single Mum with two school age children so I have no choice but to try to carry on. Even putting a wash load on is so painful that I have to sit for an hour afterwards, in tears.

I hope that you can now get the treatment you need and deserve. I feel for you so much. We shouldn't have to 'prove' that we are in pain.

The utter disinterest of the NHS in women’s healthcare has almost cost me both my sisters and my mum in the last few years. Red flag symptoms dismissed as anxiety or stress when they have in fact been serious illnesses.

Then there is the abysmal care both my grandmothers experienced in hospital resulting in their rapid decline and premature deaths.

It’s an absolute disgrace and I have absolutely no faith in ‘medical professionals’ any longer.

I presume medicine is not absolute, if there was a machine that someone could stand in and it gave a definite result of what is actually the matter then doctors could treat that

But no I don't see how women get less answers than men