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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be irritated about school swimming attire rules 'for girls'?

184 replies

BeFairSloth · 04/03/2025 21:04

DD (10yo) does swimming lessons at school. The rules are that girls must wear a one piece swimming costume and we have of course adhered to the rules and purchased one specifically for these lessons.

DD is starting to get to the age where she's a bit more self-conscious of her own body and at home, prefers a tankini which has short-like bottoms and a full length tight (i.e. not flapping about everywhere) top. We encourage body confidence where we can, but I also want her to feel comfortable and confident in what she wears. I therefore asked whether her preferred tankini would be acceptable for lessons and was told no, girls must wear a one-piece.

On the other hand the boys all wear swim shorts and a few of them wear swim shorts with swim tops - the UV type ones.

I assume they're worried about a 'slippery slope' or girls starting to wear bikinis if they allow a full coverage tankini, but what is offensive about a girl's belly button, when most of the boys have their belly buttons out and some of them are even wearing two pieces?

I realise this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it has left me (quietly, in my own home) quite irritated at the double standards. AIBU?

OP posts:
2025willbemytime · 04/03/2025 21:28

What about the shorts over the top of her one piece?

Penterist · 04/03/2025 21:25

If she is feeling self conscious then she can choose the "boy short" swimming costumes that cover more of the body. I have one with a racer back.

If you give an inch children do take a mile and will come to swimming lessons in smaller and higher cut costumes. I volunteered in a school with a 90 year intake and supervised the swim run for many years. 180 children every week from 2 year groups.

Tankini opens up a whole host of what a tankini covers, some are very short others are not and teachers do not want to be taking up time deciding which ones are acceptable hence the one piece stipulation. A lot of pools do not allow rash vests for boys.

BeFairSloth · 04/03/2025 21:25

No, we don't have a pool at home. I meant that she already owned the tankini for use when we go swimming as a family. I have bought her a one-piece for school swimming lessons, so that she's following the rules.

Her tankini is sensible, with no gap between the top and bottom (not that I think a centimetre of skin should be a problem) and she prefers the extra coverage of the short bottoms and also finds it easier to use the toilet with a tankini than a one piece.

To be honest, I think it's the double standards about what is "suitable" for boys and girls that's irritating me.

OP posts:
AyeBeeSea · 04/03/2025 21:19

My girls always had one piece suits as then they are in them and they don't have to hoik them up or pull them down all of the time. If anything, they are more practical than boys suits, not less.

She could wear a rash vest over her costume if the pool allows them. A lot of pools don't.

fatgirlswims · 04/03/2025 21:16

So you bought a set that there was a gap between the top and bottom?

I kind of get it. I'm a bit of a kill joy and think a sensible one piece for school activities and swimming lessons is correct. Not sure why people wear bikinis at a swimming pool. Think tankinks are universally dreadful.

Also what do you mean at home? Do you have pool at home <totally missing the point>

Mielikki · 04/03/2025 21:12

Kneeskins (as posted above) are the answer. This is what all serious/competitive swimmers wear anyway.

DorothyStorm · 04/03/2025 21:10

Is have bought the tankini, sent it and and not even pointed it out.

Myspinebrokefromcarryingus · 04/03/2025 21:10

P.s. most of the boys in y sons class all wear swimming tops so I think they can be self conscious too

Myspinebrokefromcarryingus · 04/03/2025 21:09

My DD is the same so i bought her a one piece suit that has shorts and extra material at the chest too
https://www.sportsdirect.com/speedo-womens-eco-endurance-legsuit-350230#colcode=35023003

Or

https://www.sportsdirect.com/speedo-girls-eco-endurance-legsuit-350220#colcode=35022003

Id be irritated too but I get why they have the rule