My beloved pet is becoming a problem

You're offended by the way I feel? I'm afraid that's your problem. You don't get to say how my feelings are distributed, or how I should feel. My pets are members of my family and are deserving of equal love. I'm not sure why you'd have an issue with someone caring about their animals. What a bizarre concept.

@SquashedSquid I adore my dog. I will be so devastated whenever she dies. But it is so completely incomparable to the love for a child. Someone I know's 12 year old died in an accident. She will never ever be the same again, will never be over it etc. it is very offensive to say the love is the same.

Well, they haven't provided very basic things to help the cat, so perhaps that should be the first option. Also, safety? It's a cat, not a lion.

Hasn't it just. It really is madness when people treat living, breathing beings as disposable commodities when they can no longer be arsed with them. It says a lot about that type of person, though.

@SquashedSquid I agree with you that people should consider whether they might have kids in the next X years when getting a pet and consider whether it's the right thing to do. However , OP's family are where they are on that and surely they have to consider the child's safety?

Hello, first of all you are not being unreasonable. We had a similar situation with a dog and a toddler. We managed it for two years between myself and my husband, but it was extremely trying.

There is nothing wrong with prioritising yourself and your family, and rehoming the cat with someone who will love it and care for it. Some of the comments here are somewhat judgemental.

as an exhausted Mum you should be able to leave your child in a highchair with something to eat and go in the other room for a minute, without being fearful of a cat coming in & scratching your child. If there really is no more you can do, then you need to prioritise yourself and your family, and give that cat to a loving home. Someone will adore it. The poor cat clearly isn’t happy in your home as it is.

You prioritising yourself & your family is the correct thing to do. You should not prioritise a cat, who can be adopted elsewhere, above your family’s safety and your own mental health.

sending best wishes

My cat just randomly bats me sometimes, when I am sitting on the sofa, for absolutely no reason other than he felt like doing it. Their behaviour can be quite whimsical sometimes.

It’s not the cats fault, nor is it the child's fault; children make unpredictable movements and noises which can startle the cat. And sometimes cats are just grumpy, like us.

As the cat gets used to the newest child, it’ll learn to ignore the child and peace will resume. In the meantime, just try to keep them apart unless you are there too.

My children were raised with cats and dogs. There were a few scratches here and there but they all learned and survived. Keep your lovely cat (and child), they will all be okay.

Is she a Maine coon op? Ours is quite skittish and aloof and absolutely not a fan of young children! He does go out which has made him much more chilled out than when he was a house cat

I'm assuming this was to me.

Clealry I know my baby wasn't doing anything wrong. She was laid on the floor and the cat walked past. Just fuck off with your implication that I risked my child's eyesight etc. what if what if what fucking if.

As for the cat attacking the baby. Grow up.

Keep your sadness for kids who are abused and harmed in the real sense.

The world has gone completely mad.

Actually, I'd say it's the opposite....

Kindly meant: Your youngest “is a tornado”? I think it might be best to rehome the cat. I totally understand you committed to her, and respect that, but I really don’t think you should feel bad about rehoming her in this situation if this is what you decide now, or a little further on. As well as thinking of your child and the cat - what about you and the potential stress for you should something happen?

I havent read all of the replies, but the cat was OK with a 4 year old, but a 4 year old is very different than a toddler.

A 4 year old can understand and be gentle, but as others have pointed out, a baby/toddler is a whole new thing for a cat - an unpredictable, lurching, grabbing thing potentially, and the cat is telling you LO to keep away.

To be fair the cat is being pretty tolerant - a growl, and then a bop is pretty low key.

i think you need to watch your LO like a hawk - dont encourage then to interact to the cat - treat it like a hazard - not to frighten them, but to make sure they understand to keep away at the moment.

my son was a little older when my 8 year old daughter had her two cats - he was about 2, but he didnt attempt to touch the nervous one until he was around 7, because it was obvious the cat didnt want him to. Later he had a cat of his own who he adored.

I value my animals as much as I value my children.

It's not about their "approval". It's about whether it's sensible to have a baby if you have a large, potentially aggressive dog. People aren't sensible, though. They think it's fine to go ahead and have a child anyway, and get rid of the dog they no longer want. Only on Mumsnet is this seen as OK behaviour.

I absolutely love dogs but feel like dogs and cats do not mix with very young children, or at least have the high potential not to. I wouldn't put my little children at risk of injury even if it meant rehoming a loved pet.

I wouldn't get rid of one of my animals just like I wouldn't get rid of my children. Normal people don't do this.

Normal people don't think animals and children are the same.

Really does sound like you’re overreacting to the incidents with your child, sounds more like you have too much on your plate, your cat has been more difficult that you expected and you would like to have the stress of owning the cat removed now you have another child.

It took until my youngest was 4 for our cats to allow them to stroke them or even tolerate being in the same room as them. They never bit but they batted a few times until then. They hated the noise and unpredictability of the dc. They were told to stay away and not touch unless the cats approached them first. Dc are now 5 and 7 and the cats 9 - everyone gets on well and the cats sleep on their beds. You would never think that the cats looked at them with complete and utter disgust and disdain for so many years. It was always funny to see the cats leave the room then second they saw the dc. The dc soon learnt that if they touched the cat and got scratched that they would get no sympathy from us. Our cats are absolute sweethearts and would wait for the dc to be in bed before coming to find us for the evening and then would sleep on ours beds. Be patient and just keep the toddler away.

That's an interesting view point. I hope more people value their children more than they do animals and don't base their decisions to have children on whether or not an animal would approve.

Could not help my self this looks so cute

"Normal" people rehome animals. If someone realizes they can't manage their pet it is best to find a more suitable home for it. So often it is the pet that suffers otherwise. Neither an animal nor a small child or baby can be found at fault.

Oh behave!

I said what I said. It's despicable.

If someone has a large dog that has the potential to be aggressive, why would they add a baby to that situation? Sensible, intelligent people would honour the commitment they made when they got their dog and not fuck it off somewhere else because they decided to breed.

I wouldn't get rid of one of my animals just like I wouldn't get rid of my children. Normal people don't do this.

You have unrealistic expectations of her - she is a cat, not a dog, not a child.

What you think is fine, ie small child sat next to her, she views as an encroachment on her personal space and a threat. So she defends herself against the threat, by warning him to back off out of her space.

So she feels uncomfortable - then you shout, so she learns that small child next to her = bad news!

Do not give your child treats or make feeding conditional on being close to him, this will up the level of confrontation and encourage your child to go near her/interact with her when this is the last thing she wants.

YOU pair treats with seeing the youngest child - so treats come from you.

Supply lots of cat trees so she has multiple comfortable spots, high up, out of childs reach, in strategic positions where she will feel safe.

Use Feliway diffusers/spray etc all around the house.

Consider a catio so she can have year round outdoor access.

Teach your child to come find you and ask you to move the cat if she is sat where he wants to sit, and pair this with treats too so that she finds being moved to another location a good thing, and he isn't repeatedly getting in her space.

I would also see if she likes catnip, and ensure she has lots of games/play (no laser pointers, these are highly frustrating, honing a hunting skill further and further with no satisfactory conclusion to the end of the hunt). Things like food dispensing toys and puzzle toys, as well as cat trees/cat gyms and lots of high up cat shelves for her to lie on.

I'm sorry but i think this is really sad.. your baby was 6 months old and they were scratched on the nose in their own home which is supposed to be safe for them. What if it was your child's eye and they lost their sight. You said you didn't see what the 6 month old did... they are a young baby, I doubt they were doing much other than sitting there innocently or crawling. They aren't doing anything 'wrong at 6 months old. I would certainly think it's necessary to rehome a pet if they are attacking your small baby!