My beloved pet is becoming a problem

Oh goodness no! Quite the opposite!!! I’m saying that the child comes first, always. Please don’t confuse me with @SquashedSquid !!

Rubbish! We had a cat that was always a bit fickle but he got on very well with our two year old. Until one day when we we re outside having a picnic.
Cat drew the two year old away from us, winding his tail around him and purring. Two year old toddled off behind him and then the cat struck. He flew in our son's face, tore two huge finger length scratches down his face and bit and damaged his eye. As well as a bite to his hand and arm.Treatment involved the hospital, antibiotics (wound got infected) and lifelong facial scars.
Our son did absolutely nothing to the cat, he was and still is the most gentle of souls. We kept the cat but made sure he was never even in the same room as our kids.
We have a 17 year old little old lady cat now. She wouldn't hurt a fly and loves children. Not all cats are the same and not all children torment them.

Op, it will all be fine. There’s no need to rehome your beloved cat. As many pps have said, cats usually hate babies and toddlers. They’re afraid of them, because it’s hard to predict what they’re going to do, and they don’t respect cat boundaries. But in another couple of years, they will have got used to each other; the child will have learnt to respect the cat’s space and its body language, and the cat won’t feel so anxious. Teach the child never to approach the cat; let any interaction be entirely on the cats terms.

The cat may also be jealous. Take some time every day to focus on her. It sounds ridiculous but it can make a huge difference!

I also second the recommendation to let her have a cat flap and outside access, so that she can get properly away from toddler noise that will be hurting her sensitive hearing, and give her more stimulation. I wouldn’t worry about her getting stolen - adult cats hold little value, even pedigrees. Pet Rehomer is full of Maine Coons, Ragdolls and Bengals being given away.

I can see why you might be finding this stressful, but this is a cat we're talking about, not a large vicious dog that's twice the size of your child... realistically, how much damage could she do if you're supervising? It's not like she's going to tackle him to the ground and tear him limb from limb whilst you watch helplessly. A couple of light scratches aren't the end of the world and may help your son to understand what not to do. I agree with others that in another year or two he'll be totally different anyway and much more attuned to how to act around cats. In the meantime, just keep them apart for the most part and do some controlled access when both your son and the cat seem to be in a calm mood. I wouldn't dream of rehoming a cat for this. Hope you can start to feel better about it and that things settle down soon.

No, it's not ludicrous. A random child means absolutely nothing to me, whereas my dogs are my world. They're task trained for different purposes relating to my disabilities and they're invaluable to me. Why would I save a kid I don't know over a member of my family? It's ludicrous to think that I would.

There's a chap called Jackson Galaxy, who is a cat behaviourist. He did a show called My cat from hell. It's worth having a look at him, as he really is very good when it comes to problems like this.

You are worrying about nothing. Your child is a toddler and next year he will be a completely different child. Get some feliway, she’s probably abit jealous but there’s really no need to rehome her.

If the tables were turned, I guess you'd be understanding if a stranger saved their pet rather than your "random" child? That boggles my mind.

Saying you’d choose an animal over a child is an example of poor decision making. It’s ludicrous, quite frankly.

Are you serious?

I've never made any poor decisions relating to animals. I'm sorry that you feel that someone committing themselves to an animal they chose to bring into their family, for the life of that animal, is somehow making poor decisions. There are actually many of us who value our pets, though. Most people I know would be horrified at dumping an animal they've given a home to. Again, it seems to only be on Mumsnet where animals are seen as objects and not creatures with feelings.

I agree with this. Our cat gets feisty when she is bored…we just let her outside to hunt the rodentia.

@SquashedSquid k

Nope, my priorities are right, actually. If I've brought a living being into my home, be it animal or child, they are my responsibility to care for while they're under my roof. They aren't mine to offload on someone else.

An animal is not disposable any more than a child is. If there are issues, you work through them. Well, decent people do.

Well then, you’re in the minority and I fully question your decision making skills. Lots of adults make poor decisions in lots of areas of life, you do with animals.

I can assure you, my pets come before anyone else's random children. If I had to save my dog, or a random child, I'd save my dog every time.

Your priorities are all wrong. Feel the way you feel, of course, but you’re in the vast minority and no one should be made to feel guilty for putting their child above their pet.

Agree with this.

I know MN seems to be against cats being outside but unless you live on a main road, in which case I think it's unwise to get a cat, I think it's unfair to keep an animal permanently inside when it needs the stimulation that hunting and pouncing and being outside brings.

It's very possible that the cat is frustrated from not being able to fulfil it's natural behaviour needs and the lack of stimulation..

Your child comes first. Humans come first.

It doesn’t sound like she’s done anything too bad yet, although it’s obvious she doesn’t like him. I would maybe give it another year and then, if she’s still responding to him like that, then rehome her.

Yes it’ll be sad, but there will be plenty of loving homes wanting to take her and it’s not fair for your son to grow up feeling scared in his own home.

Kids always come before pets, for anyone to argue otherwise is, quite frankly, off their rocker.

Speak to the breeder, a good honest reputable person would want their kitten back. I breed dogs and it’s in my contract that if they need to rehome I get first refusal so please approach and ask them before you look for a new home

They are property though, aren't they? 🤔

I can only surmise that for some people, they do feel the exact same way about their kids as they do their animals. That's definitely not the case for many (most?) other people. I guess we're all made differently if this is a real view. I would sacrifice my life for my children but not any pets, so for me there's no basis at all for any comparison but it seems other people would do the same for both pets and their children.

OP you simply MUST do what is right for you and your children. Don’t listen to the holier-than-thous who haven’t walked a day in your shoes. Your son should feel safe and welcome in his own home. Similarly, your cat obviously isn't enjoying the home life you are providing. It’s not your fault - we are too sentimental when it comes to animals and fail to consider they have their own personalities and preferences and sometimes the only home life we are able to provide is simply not a good match, and it’s in their best interest to be rehomed to a more enjoyable environment for their sake.

A cat behaving that way around my kids would be rehomed to a more appropriate environment.

Can you build a catio in your garden for her, attached to a door or window so she can get in and out? I bet she would be entertained watching the World go by and spend a lot of time in it, but she would still be safe.

If she is not using her claws then she isn't being spiteful. You need to keep them apart really but I'd not rehome her just yet. You are allowed to love them both, it's just different and of course, if things got nasty, you would have to seriously think of rehoming.

I think she's bored. If she had more to do then she would be less likely to sit around with your toddler.