My beloved pet is becoming a problem

Nope, couldn't care less about random farm animals. I'm not a vegan. I don't eat food 👍

HTH

Yes, I absolutely would, over and over. Cool, I'm disgusting for loving my dogs, that literally save my life on a daily basis. Get a grip 😂

Echoing some of the good advice you've had here: create spaces where your cat can be seperate from your toddler; make them pleasant for her so they are somewhere she wants to spend time, rather than feeling she's being turfed out of her favourite spots. Invest in a Feliway diffuser, it's a plug in like an air freshener which releases (synthetic) calming pheremones. Make sure pleasant things happen when your toddler is around - catnip, treats, whatever your cat enjoys - so she associates DS with nice things, and vice versa, do not punish her if she growls or bats at him as you don't want her to associate him with bad things happening. Your cat could easily bite or properly scratch DC if she wanted to, but she hasn't, it's just a warning that she is feeling threatened. Learn to read those signals so you can tell when she is uncomfortable and step in before it has chance to escalate.

YANBU to want to protect your child but it doesn't sound like you need to resort to rehoming yet, there is plenty you can try first.

She doesn't sound like much of a charmer, but personally I think rehoming is an overreaction and there's certainly lots more you could try, much of which has already been suggested.

One thing I don't think anyone's mentioned is that if she's an indoor cat, her claws won't be wearing down at the rate they would outdoors, so you if you're worried about your LO getting a face or eye scratch you should probably trim them, especially on the front paws. I have indoor cats and do mine about every 2-3 months. Mine are very fairly chilled cats but they're slippery little things so I have a friend hold them wrapped in a towel and take out one paw at a time. Yours doesn't sound very chilled at all, so tbh I might ask the vet to do it when she's in for something else, or possibly the groomer might do it.

I haven't read the whole thread so I apologize if this has been suggested but can't you use those rubber claw caps?

I got my cat when my eldest was a baby. She scratched eldest on the face once, leaving a big scratch that my vet told me off about. She's lovely but a bit of a dickhead (cat not dc) I have since had another dc who has grown up with her. The cats 10 now. She has always randomly attacked me. A few times she has bitten or scratched dc but mainly aims her attacks at me for some reason. She never attacks dh annoyingly. Anyway, the other day she randomly pounced onto dc age 7s back and scratched her neck. Dc cried, more from the shock and I sympathised saying what a bad cat we have. Dc got over it and they continue to co exist just fine. My cat sleeps on dc bed and looks annoyed/gets lairy when they dare disturb her getting into bed, I just shoo her away. Honestly cats are just complete dickheads. This is how lots of them are. Even so it has never crossed my mind to re home mine. I rescued her as a kitten anyway (in my handbag), it's unlikely anyone would want her. It's not like she can savage dc.

Make sure your cat has hiding places such as covered boxes and high places to retreat like tops of wardrobes or a cat tree. Lots of stimulation on top of your toys, like bird watching posts and things to scratch and bite like scratching posts. I think cats should go outside but if that's not possible then you need to do your best to make sure they have an environment that stimulates their natural behaviours. This will prevent your cat being bored and looking for mischief like scratching dc.

Most cats do not like very young children. They are too noisy and unpredictable. I am sorry you got a hard time in the breed group, but it will be because they have seen this scenario again and again. Couple get pregnant, and cat is not happy when baby becomes a toddler. So cat is rehomed.

You have had suggestions of what you can do to tackle this, but it sounds like you want to rehome. So rehome. You won't be the last parents of young children to do this.

Does your cat have places up high and inaccessible for your children to access her? If she has that, any time she gets shitty with your son, pick her up and put her in one of those places. If she wants space, she needs to give herself space. And don’t encourage him to stroke her (even gently), she doesn’t like it so there’s no point. My LO had to spend ages just giving our Ragdoll treats and not being in her space. But she’s had to learn that she has to take herself away and he won’t follow her.

Best of luck

When we adopted our dog (we were pregnant) we got a trainer who told us to make sure that the dog had a safe space away from the child that the child could not get into. As much as your child needs a safe space from the cat, the cat needs a safe space from your toddler. We're currently fostering a cat who is being borderline stalked by my toddler, so do as I say not as I do.

If you don’t live on a busy road, I would let the cat become an outdoor / indoor cat with a cat flap so they can go in and out as they like. Cats are very territorial, and it sounds like perhaps your cat is seeing your child as an intruder in their territory. The cat may be happier being able to mark new territory outside. Whenever you see it being aggressive to your child, boot it outside.

I am an animal lover…I grew up with lots of animals. My family has lots of animals now. But as humans we have to keep perspective and your child obviously comes first. If you do need to rehome then advertise the cat yourself or try to find a friend of a friend. I’m sure you will easily find someone given she is beautiful and pure bred. Don’t sell her and don’t drop her off at a shelter. If you vet the person / home she is going to yourself then I honestly can’t see the problem…at the end of the day she is just a cat! As long as she is in a nice home being fed and fussed over she won’t care if it’s you doing all this or someone else. She doesn’t sound particularly bonded or loving to any of you so don’t feel guilty

I would look at Jackson Galaxy (the cat daddy) on YouTube; he has a tv series and some books on cat behaviour and strategies for issues like this which I have used with great success on a few occasions and highly recommend. There are definitely many things that you can put in place in the home before rehoming has to be considered. I hope you find a solution that works for you, baby and kitty 💚

When my cat is feeling cheeky - he would swipe at me through the stair panels as I was walking down the stairs. Maybe your cat is trying to play with him.

Would you rather save someone else's child or your own child from a burning building?

Quite the opposite if anything! You won't see anyone particularly advocating for all cats to be indoor only, but there's regular posts on The Litter Tray about how they'd rather their cat had a year outdoors & then got run over by a car than to keep it indoors all it's life.

Mine are indoor, for good reasons to do with their past histories. Certain breeds tend to be much safer indoors because of their temperament, stupidity (with certain breeds anyway!) or their potential for theft. Plus cats do seem to be the preferred victims of cruelty as they wander about the streets on their own. But in general on MN as in the entire UK cats do seem to be more outdoor than indoor only though thank goodness people no longer "put the cat out for the night".

An alternative to building a catio could be cat proofing your garden.

People are being ridiculous. The cat "just bats at him without her claws" and "scratched him lightly twice", and posters are saying the cat poses an obvious danger to the toddler. OP, please supervise the cat and toddler when they are together. The cat won't eat the toddler or maim him in any way. It's a cat, not an XL Bully.

As the toddler gets more mobile, the cat will learn to avoid him. As the toddler gets older, he'll learn to be gentle and make friends with the cat. No need to dump the cat in a shelter under the pretence of 'finding a better home'. If anything, the toddler is a greater danger to the cat than vice versa. A cat weighs about 4kg, the toddler will soon be much larger than the cat.

Have you tried any of the feliway calming diffusers or pet remedy?

I take it you feel the same way about all animals and are, naturally, a Vegan?

We kept the cat because we thought maybe it was ill or in pain or something. We gave it a second chance but we are lucky to have quite a large house and the cat stayed in the (heated) outhouses and conservatory. He died when he picked a fight with a fox a few months later.

Rehoming seems rather extreme to me, just keep them apart while he’s so little? It doesn’t sound like she particularly wants to be near him, I think I’d move on from the gentle touching lesson and instead teach ‘stay away from the cat’. The cat sounds like she won’t need much encouragement to also steer clear of him.

Maybe it’s not your new baby but the cat finding it hard to adjust to two young children, esp.given that they are territorial creatures op.
suggestions I can think of:

• those plug in cat pheromone things that are meant to help them deal with stressful situations
• lots of gentle attention in case it feels neglected
• a room that is child free, quiet and smells like the cat so s/he feels safe and a sense of control
• a few cat beds dottted around, some high up and some hidden.
• videos to train your cat on YouTube that might help?

i have two cats and although not had this issue, they do sometimes get fed up and I’ve found the beds dotted around help! That said they’re also outdoor cats so can run outside for space!

good luck

Please don't rehome her. She doesn't pose a serious threat to your child. You need to make sure she has access to plenty of safe, quiet and high up space where she will be left alone. It will get better in time no doubt.

@StScholastica why did you keep such a viscous cat? As a mum to young children myself, I can’t imagine always being so on the ball to ensure the cat is away from the kids. How did you manage that day in, day out?

Good Lord, So if you had to save a random child or your own dog from a burning building, you'd save the fucking dog?
This is the most appalling and disgusting thing I've ever read on Mumsnet .

Stop trying to make others feel bad for protecting their babies and children from their pets. Your situation is completely irrelevant.

We had a cat who barely looked at dd2 until she was 3 I'm assuming it was the unpredictable baby/toddler thing, .dd1 was 3 when we got the cat as a kitten and they grew up together.