Page 4 | My beloved pet is becoming a problem

99problems99 · 2025-03-04T17:34:05+00:00

Firstly I’m fully aware of the fact ‘a pet is for life’. So please be kind i am desperate for some constructive advice. 4 years (almost 5), I purchased a pedigree British long hair cat. She is the most beautiful girl, she was welcomed into the home and we love her. She was from a reputable registered breeder and cost me £950. Money wasn’t the issue I just dreamed of her for so long. From the start she was always very particular with food.. no problem.. I just chopped and changed when she lost interest. She’s had the best of the best since the day she arrived. She’s groomed every day, she has lots of toys, up to date with vaccinations and is solely indoor. She has treats and cuddles (when she allows). She’s always been a little anti social and doesn’t like ‘new people’ until she has investigated them fully. Some she decides she doesn’t like at all and can be quite snappy and scratchy. When she arrived my now 9DS was 4. They were fine together.. I’ve since had another boy who is 18m. She is awful to him. I’ve taught gim to be gentle, he’s noisy of course but she used to just leave the room. Now it’s like she’s antagonistic towards him. I watch his every move but she has snarled at him and has scratched lightly twice. I’m on edge all of the time. I teapot of course love her, but the safety of my son is paramount, I can’t settle knowing she may just get so fed up of him and hurt him. I suppose as he gets older this might settle but I don’t know what to do. any advice is welcomed and please be kind this is breaking my heart I wouldn’t even know where to start if I ever considered rehoming her. I have posted in some local groups I am in for her breed and people have been so horrible.. as if i am saying she’s disposable now I have another child.. it’s not the case but I have to be realistic. YABU- thinking of rehoming YANBU- completely understandable to re home. thanks for reading.

Original poster

99problems99 · 05/03/2025 11:49

Sunpeace · 05/03/2025 07:23

I'd contact a responsible cat rescue charity - many pedigree breeds have a waiting list of good homes. Please get any more pets as you don't sound as though you can cope.

I don’t sound like I can cope? I am coping just fine, simply trying to ask for advice to ensure the happiness of my pet and mr child. Another useless comment.. or more an insult disguised as a comment.

OP posts:

Original poster

99problems99 · 05/03/2025 11:48

Allergictoironing · 05/03/2025 09:15

@99problems99 Another thing to try might be Zylkene. It's a natural powder that comes in a capsule, but you can open the capsule & sprinkle it on food - 2 of mine really liked the taste too!

Most vets sell it so you can be sure it's fine for the cat, but I usually get it off Amazon as much cheaper there and I think Pets at Home (insert pet shop chain of your choice here) stock it too.

Wow this is amazing. Thank you I’ll deffo check that out! X

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Original poster

99problems99 · 05/03/2025 11:47

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/03/2025 04:28

It is the most ridiculous rage-bait argument to get into though. Don't do it.

My dog is my primary responsibility, so my focus is on my dog. So if there is some hypothetical situation where dog and child both need saving, it may well be that I spot my dogs need first... because the child is NOT my responsibility and NOT my focus.

It also might be that its possible to save child then dog, or dog then child, or maybe its possible to save neither, who the fuck knows because the bottom line is when you are faced with some god-awful emergency situation, you actually haven't a clue what you'd do.

Theres a solid chance you'd freeze, run away, or faff about like a headless chicken and save no one at all.

I can say that, in the unenviable position of someone who has actually stood close enough to a burning house to feel the heat from the flames (about 15m) - there is zero way I would have gone in there if my dog, your child, a school full of kids... were in there. No matter how much I think I'd save my dog, it would have been impossible to go in.

But if you want to play that game... for those who have more than one child... which one comes first eh? If 'kids come first', which one do you like the most, which are you saving... ah ah now, you can't have favourites.

Or is it just not that simple a question, in a hypothetical you can't actually imagine the true nature of, with unknowable parameters, such that it becomes a fucking stupid game to play.

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You’re not a very nice person and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t post your shitty attitude on this post. If you can’t help- move along. Mean girl behaviour right there.

OP posts:

Allergictoironing · 05/03/2025 09:15

@99problems99 Another thing to try might be Zylkene. It's a natural powder that comes in a capsule, but you can open the capsule & sprinkle it on food - 2 of mine really liked the taste too!

Most vets sell it so you can be sure it's fine for the cat, but I usually get it off Amazon as much cheaper there and I think Pets at Home (insert pet shop chain of your choice here) stock it too.

Sunpeace · 05/03/2025 07:23

I'd contact a responsible cat rescue charity - many pedigree breeds have a waiting list of good homes. Please get any more pets as you don't sound as though you can cope.

Original poster

99problems99 · 05/03/2025 07:04

SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 18:18

Rehoming pets when you have children is one of the most awful things a human being can do.

Ok, I agree it’s not ideal Hense my post. Sometimes it’s not that black and white though

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WiddlinDiddlin · 05/03/2025 04:28

StScholastica · 04/03/2025 20:24

Good Lord, So if you had to save a random child or your own dog from a burning building, you'd save the fucking dog?
This is the most appalling and disgusting thing I've ever read on Mumsnet .

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It is the most ridiculous rage-bait argument to get into though. Don't do it.

My dog is my primary responsibility, so my focus is on my dog. So if there is some hypothetical situation where dog and child both need saving, it may well be that I spot my dogs need first... because the child is NOT my responsibility and NOT my focus.

It also might be that its possible to save child then dog, or dog then child, or maybe its possible to save neither, who the fuck knows because the bottom line is when you are faced with some god-awful emergency situation, you actually haven't a clue what you'd do.

Theres a solid chance you'd freeze, run away, or faff about like a headless chicken and save no one at all.

I can say that, in the unenviable position of someone who has actually stood close enough to a burning house to feel the heat from the flames (about 15m) - there is zero way I would have gone in there if my dog, your child, a school full of kids... were in there. No matter how much I think I'd save my dog, it would have been impossible to go in.

But if you want to play that game... for those who have more than one child... which one comes first eh? If 'kids come first', which one do you like the most, which are you saving... ah ah now, you can't have favourites.

Or is it just not that simple a question, in a hypothetical you can't actually imagine the true nature of, with unknowable parameters, such that it becomes a fucking stupid game to play.

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 04/03/2025 23:55

SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 21:34

Yes, I absolutely would, over and over. Cool, I'm disgusting for loving my dogs, that literally save my life on a daily basis. Get a grip 😂

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I would save my 3 cats over my own family members 😄

On a serious note, I feel the same way. My boys have saved me and been through my darkest times with me. They are the most pure little souls and I would do anything for them.

Some people will never understand. They seen them as "just animals".

thecatneuterer · 04/03/2025 23:22

I assume she's spayed? Unneutered indoor cats develop dreadful behavioural problems.

Original poster

99problems99 · 04/03/2025 22:43

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/03/2025 18:48

Very kind and sensible advice. 👏

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This is a lovely reply thankyou. I’ll try plug in! I’d love them to get along but right now, yes, my youngest is a ball of energy perhaps she’s overwhelmed. Thankyou for your kind response xxx

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Original poster

99problems99 · 04/03/2025 22:38

CoolPlayer · 04/03/2025 19:08

Could you try some calming cat food if she’s finding the environment stressful x

Tried everything. She’s highly strung xx

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Original poster

99problems99 · 04/03/2025 22:36

Wishitwasstraightforward · 04/03/2025 17:52

It's highly likely that she is concerned that she's going to be touched and isn't comfortable with it. She's showing her concern via grumbles and batting. If her concerns are ignored it's possible that she might decide that needs to act more forcefully.

Unprovoked attacks from cats are unusual especially in cats without a history of this type of thing. When I say unprovoked that doesn't include attacks where a cat is reacting to being touched, or cornered- that's a provoked attack.

My suggestion would be that you don't allow either DC to touch, disturb or follow the cat. Make sure she's able to escape from a room that they are in, and has some out of the way places to hide.

Interactions should be on the cats terms.

Once she feels safe and sufficiently confident that no one is going to touch her unless she initiates it she will calm down and over time is likely to become more friendly.

Thankyou. So helpful x

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SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 22:33

BooomShakeTheRoom · 04/03/2025 22:27

Class A hypocrite then… OP has to keep her cat, because you have a service pet and prioritise them above children. You adore animals, oh except the type that are eaten 🙄 makes zero sense.

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I'm British. No such thing as a "service pet". Where did I say I adore all animals? How am I being hypocritical by not being a vegan? I'm not a meat eater either 😂

Original poster

99problems99 · 04/03/2025 22:30

TheChosenTwo · 04/03/2025 17:50

When my brother and sil had their first dc their 2 cats hated them and became mostly outdoor cats. As the dc grew up they came in more and relaxed around them.
If your cat is pissed off with your child why are you having to get up and move it, I don’t get why it doesn’t just walk off itself.
Don’t know, this is reading like a bit of an overdramatic post, cat hates small unpredictable noisy child - cat can just leave the room!

Thanks for the understanding none judgemental response. NOT. I’m not being over dramatic, I’m asking for support which I’m sure is what this group is for. If you have nothing constructive to say then move along. My cat doesn’t leave the room.. she just seems
to get irritated by my DC being there but doesn’t budge.. Hense my post, maybe you could ask my cat yourself why she doesn’t leave the room?? I don’t speak cat? Do you! ?

OP posts:

BooomShakeTheRoom · 04/03/2025 22:27

SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 21:35

Nope, couldn't care less about random farm animals. I'm not a vegan. I don't eat food 👍

HTH

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Class A hypocrite then… OP has to keep her cat, because you have a service pet and prioritise them above children. You adore animals, oh except the type that are eaten 🙄 makes zero sense.

SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 22:17

Sunnierclime · 04/03/2025 22:13

Well, I don’t want to de-rail the thread any further, but the reason I am ‘lecturing’ you is that I also care very much about animal welfare.

And I get very annoyed by people getting on their high horse (so to speak) about the ethics of pet ownership, saying that cats and dogs are members of the family equal to their children, while completely ignoring the ethics of the meat industry and animal suffering therein. I find it highly hypocritical to the point I have to call it out.

It’s almost always meat eaters who wang on like this about their pets, because only somebody who is wilfully disengaged from the realities of the meat industry would choose pet-rehoming as their battle to fight on animal welfare.

So here ends the lecture, I hope it gave you food for thought (if not for eating … good luck with that).

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I don't use the meat industry, so it's completely irrelevant.

Sunnierclime · 04/03/2025 22:13

SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 21:56

No I don't.

Why are you lecturing me about farm animals, when I've clearly stated I don't eat food. You realise meat is food, surely?

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Well, I don’t want to de-rail the thread any further, but the reason I am ‘lecturing’ you is that I also care very much about animal welfare.

And I get very annoyed by people getting on their high horse (so to speak) about the ethics of pet ownership, saying that cats and dogs are members of the family equal to their children, while completely ignoring the ethics of the meat industry and animal suffering therein. I find it highly hypocritical to the point I have to call it out.

It’s almost always meat eaters who wang on like this about their pets, because only somebody who is wilfully disengaged from the realities of the meat industry would choose pet-rehoming as their battle to fight on animal welfare.

So here ends the lecture, I hope it gave you food for thought (if not for eating … good luck with that).

Mollymalone123 · 04/03/2025 22:02

Follow @Wishitwasstraightforward advise as that’s exactly what I was going to advise

DBSFstupid · 04/03/2025 21:59

JoyousGreyOrca · 04/03/2025 20:53

Most cats do not like very young children. They are too noisy and unpredictable. I am sorry you got a hard time in the breed group, but it will be because they have seen this scenario again and again. Couple get pregnant, and cat is not happy when baby becomes a toddler. So cat is rehomed.

You have had suggestions of what you can do to tackle this, but it sounds like you want to rehome. So rehome. You won't be the last parents of young children to do this.

Yep. It's just so fucking predictable.

DBSFstupid · 04/03/2025 21:57

iamnotalemon · 04/03/2025 17:40

I'd say the child is the problem and the cat is reacting to it.

Yep.
Yet another thread about rehoming an established Pet because of the baby.

SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 21:56

Sunnierclime · 04/03/2025 21:54

You don’t eat food?

Okay then.

Anyway.

As you a clearly a person who believes in animal rights, might I encourage you to reflect on the living conditions of animals who are bred and killed in huge numbers on massive industrial farms, so that we can enjoy eating them?

If veganism isn’t for you, then consider buying high welfare, locally farmed meat, preferably wild game.

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No I don't.

Why are you lecturing me about farm animals, when I've clearly stated I don't eat food. You realise meat is food, surely?

Sunnierclime · 04/03/2025 21:54

SquashedSquid · 04/03/2025 21:35

Nope, couldn't care less about random farm animals. I'm not a vegan. I don't eat food 👍

HTH

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You don’t eat food?

Okay then.

Anyway.

As you a clearly a person who believes in animal rights, might I encourage you to reflect on the living conditions of animals who are bred and killed in huge numbers on massive industrial farms, so that we can enjoy eating them?

If veganism isn’t for you, then consider buying high welfare, locally farmed meat, preferably wild game.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 04/03/2025 21:49

Most sensible cats stay out of the way of toddlers.

worrisomeasset · 04/03/2025 21:46

I think it’s worth pointing out that there are many cats who get on just fine with their humans’ babies and toddlers. We had two cats when DS arrived and they managed to co-exist harmoniously. They never showed any aggression towards him.

Patagonianpenguin · 04/03/2025 21:41

My cat hates my children. He has scratched both of them, provoked and unprovoked (he's not a placid cat in general). The older one has learnt to stay away from him, the younger one is still a toddler and hasn't, we obviously supervise. I don't believe in keeping cats indoors, let her outside.