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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU - house purchase with partner

186 replies

Whatshouldidoinlife · 04/03/2025 09:41

Hi all
Just wanted thoughts.

Partner and I want to purchase a house together.
purchase price £700,000.

I own a house and my partner rents.
My partner would pay stamp duty in region of £25-£30k.

I would put down my equity in house as deposit and ring fence that percentage of property of price and the remaining percentage would be split 50/50.

I would pay an early exit mortgage fee and the estate agent fees (around £6k).

My partner earns 3 x as I do.

If we put in our salary percentage wise -70/30 to my partner and shared the rest of the equity (bar my deposit) 50/50 does that sound like a fair deal?

Have I missed something or do I need to consider anything else?
I want to be fair to myself and him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatshouldidoinlife · 04/03/2025 09:57

Thankyou everyone this is really useful from different perspectives.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 04/03/2025 09:55

Ringfence your deposit so that is safe. Stamp duty really should be 50/50, it’s half yours. Your sale fees are your own, so you pay those. If you want 50/50 of the remaining equity then you need to be paying 50/50, if that leaves you with less money then you need to buy a cheaper house.

ComtesseDeSpair · 04/03/2025 09:54

LittleRedRidingHoody · 04/03/2025 09:51

Seems incredibly unfair to him! If you're going into this trying to be fair, and he's paying 70% of the mortgage he should have 70% of the equity, after whatever's ringfenced.

I’d agree. You’re trying to have it both ways: you want to ring fence what you put in (which is the right thing to do) but share what he puts in. You aren’t married, so the fair thing to do is to share equity after your deposit in the same proportions you created that equity: 70/30.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 04/03/2025 09:54

Whatshouldidoinlife · 04/03/2025 09:49

Ok so the mortgage payments 50:50 but bills proportionate?
My concern is that I would be left with less disposable income as his earning is 3x mine

Show quote history

Of course you’ll have less disposable income than him as he earns more. Would it leave you with enough? If not, that would suggest you can’t afford a £700k house.

Have you a plan for if you married / had children?

Original poster
Whatshouldidoinlife · 04/03/2025 09:53

LittleRedRidingHoody · 04/03/2025 09:51

Seems incredibly unfair to him! If you're going into this trying to be fair, and he's paying 70% of the mortgage he should have 70% of the equity, after whatever's ringfenced.

That's really useful to hear.

OP posts:
LittleRedRidingHoody · 04/03/2025 09:51

Seems incredibly unfair to him! If you're going into this trying to be fair, and he's paying 70% of the mortgage he should have 70% of the equity, after whatever's ringfenced.

Original poster
Whatshouldidoinlife · 04/03/2025 09:49

Negroany · 04/03/2025 09:47

If you're going to own the equity fifty fifty, you should be paying fifty fifty.

So, add up the sunk costs, pay half each of those (stamp duty, etc), ring fence your £xxxx deposit, but then pay the mortgage half each and own half each.

Do the rest of the bills on the salary proportion though as noone is gaining from those.

Ok so the mortgage payments 50:50 but bills proportionate?
My concern is that I would be left with less disposable income as his earning is 3x mine

OP posts:
Rockyroader · 04/03/2025 09:49

I wouldn’t expect my partner to pay half the estate agent fees for my sale. You need to be paying the mortgage 50:50 really especially if not married.

Original poster
Whatshouldidoinlife · 04/03/2025 09:47

Sorry should have added the agreement is if we were to split I would pay back my half of stamp duty.

My costs of the early exit charge and solicitor fees should these be split too?

OP posts:
Negroany · 04/03/2025 09:47

If you're going to own the equity fifty fifty, you should be paying fifty fifty.

So, add up the sunk costs, pay half each of those (stamp duty, etc), ring fence your £xxxx deposit, but then pay the mortgage half each and own half each.

Do the rest of the bills on the salary proportion though as noone is gaining from those.

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 04/03/2025 09:43

Doesn't seem fair unless I've missed something - the stamp duty payment doesn't seem balanced out by the rest.