AIBU - house purchase with partner

If you mean a conveyancing solicitor to purchase the house, that is not the same as a solicitor who deals with the assets if it all goes wrong... that is a different document that you two need to draw up as you are not married. I would not let him pay more of the mortgage; that will be sticky wickets down the line. Draw up a contract that nails down that you walk away with exactly the percentage that you put in plus market increase, as does he. If he gets all toxic male about not contributing more to make up for his lack of deposit, remind him that the reality is that he has less deposit, that is just how it is.

Yes, of course they can slice up who pays what to purchase, but OP hasn't said what percentage of a deposit they are each putting down, because when it comes down to it out the other end, that is what matters most, legally, that and the market increase.

He’s paying 30k stamp duty, the sale wouldn’t be happening without that either.

I know what you're saying of course, but her deposit is enabling the sale and this won't 'grow' - so she's making the purchase happen with her deposit but only getting 30% of the equity if they split.

You need to protect your asset so that you can walk away with exactly what you have put down in deposit plus an agreed percentage of the market value increase when it does sell.

I agree. Although I'd subtract her half of the stamp duty from the deposit amount. He could say he wants her to pay her half (£15k) so that he has £15k he can put in as a deposit that he'll get back. Otherwise he will lose his full £30k while she keeps her whole deposit.

They aren’t “a team” because OP is legally protecting her deposit amount (which is the right thing to do), but then wants HIM to share his equity. You can’t only be a team when it suits you 🤣 if they’re a team then no ring fencing and share it all. The financially wise thing for OP to do is protect the deposit, the financially wise thing for him to do is claim 70% equity if paying 70%.

I agree. If someone posted saying "I earn 3x as much as my partner so will be paying more of the mortgage, but he wants the equity split 50:50" the response would be that he's taking the piss.

You need to protect your asset so that you can walk away with exactly what you have put down in deposit plus an agreed percentage of the market value increase when it does sell. You must sit down with a property lawyer (on your own, not with your partner) and work out how to do this, and then you agree to draw up the papers with the partner. If he throws toys out of pram about this, do not buy a house with a man-child; that will only end badly. I think it's called a no-nup (?) as in you're not married, and although there are no kids yet, there might be later on, so you need to specify what happens to the house then with your financial share in it... e.g. can he live in it for X years and then can sell and give them your assets, or whomever else is in your will. It's lawyer territory, don't even think of him being the person to lean into about what is fair or not down the line.

Apologies, my mistake, misread it.

He doesn’t have zero savings, OP has said he is paying the stamp duty 25-30k!

I would not be happy that he has zero savings.

He's paying £30k stamp duty though, presumably from savings.

They can split the bills however they want, but the equity split should reflect that. If OP only pays 30% of the mortgage then she only gets 30% of the equity.

They aren’t “a team” because OP is legally protecting her deposit amount (which is the right thing to do), but then wants HIM to share his equity. You can’t only be a team when it suits you 🤣 if they’re a team then no ring fencing and share it all. The financially wise thing for OP to do is protect the deposit, the financially wise thing for him to do is claim 70% equity if paying 70%.

You can’t have it both ways, it’s not “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is also mine”

This.
Why has he zero money for a deposit.
Do not rush into anything.
Your deposit never grows which means you are loosing money on a chunk of your assets.

You are also very stuck if everything you have is invested in this.
I think when you own your home it is not something you give up easily.

I would be slowing right down and give him time to save, if he earns so much.

Is there a reason you are not marrying?
How long has he been earning this salary?

I would not be happy that he has zero savings.
What does he do with all his income?

If not married then everything to do with the house should either be 50/50 or equity percentage in line with contributions.
You need this properly sorted with a lawyer.

If married or getting married, then joint money and 50/50 equity and contributions to a percentage of your wage so you have equal disposable money.

Things are different if you are married. I would consider that first.

I'm presuming the equity amount you're putting in is quite large.

This will affect both the size of the mortgage and the loan rate you'll be able to get.

So if you want to cover all bases, you could throw that in as well, but then it gets super complicated.

Yes I agree. Otherwise it looks as though you’ve ringfenced your contributions but he is not doing the same. If he has a solicitor then they will point this out to him

Well yes you probably will if he earns 3x the amount?

Is he happy with paying 70% and only getting 50% of the remaining equity in return? Have you checked this arrangement with a solicitor? Will you do a deed of trust outlining the arrangement?

That sounds inevitable? Bit different if you're married.

Have you thought about how you would split the cost of maintenance?

Are children on the cards?

Are you planning to marry and have children in the future?

To be fair, he'd have more for a deposit if he wasn't paying the full £30k stamp duty.

OP I think it's fair to ring fence the deposit you put in, but only in excess of your half of the stamp duty.

Definitely get married before having kids OP.

If kids aren’t on the cards, 30% is still a good deal for you to pay and keep as presumably equity will increase faster on this house than your previous.

Doesn't seem fair that he will pay the majority of the mortgage but gets less than half the equity.

Advice here is sometimes mind-blowing. It seems you're not allowed to not be married on Mumsnet. Of course you shouldn't be worse off from this move, and I assume you both want the 700k house, not just you. Is he happy to pay more towards the mortgage? If so this seems reasonable to me or you'll be moving in together for a poorer standard of life. Whether you have a piece of paper (marriage) or not, you're sharing your lives so why on earth would he want you to struggle to get yourself a takeaway coffee in order to pay the same amount as him towards the mortgage?! You're a team!

Sounds messy and complicated to me. These things only ever work when they are simple.

If he earns 3x what you do why is he currently renting and why doesn't he have any deposit?