To think drinking daily is not “normal”

Normal for someone addicted alcohol
maybe. No, it’s not normal and every single piece of health advice in this says the same thing- don’t drink alcohol everyday

There are many people who rarely drink. There’s many people who drink to excess. Personally, I drank in my twenties and loved it - less in my thirties and by my forties had stopped…I much prefer a cup of tea!
Anyone who tried to coax me in to consuming it with them would get a sharp talking to, I don’t mind other people drinking but don’t dream of bullying/coercing me about anything.

None of my friends drink daily.

i guess it is normal for many - which is why they recommend an alcohol free day a week.

I drink probably 4 or 5 days of the week but I'm not put out if I can't for whatever reason such as driving later (or the wine not being chilled long enough 😂)

I'll have a G&T while I'm cooking or a glass of wine with my meal. 🤷🏼‍♀️

What I don't do is drink a bottle of wine a day and call it normal! That's not normal or safe.

My DH drinks a bottle every night. He says he’s not an alcoholic as his intake isn’t increasing, he’s reliant on alcohol. I see it as the same thing.
Even if he were to stop now, I wouldn’t be able to forgive him for all the years of drinking.

It's not normal personally I don't know anyone that drinks daily let alone a full bottle of wine a day. I agree it's a very slippery slope as alcohol is addictive.

Having lived in Mediterranean countries I can assure people that make reference to these studies most people from these countries don't drink daily. The only ones I saw doing it where the retired Brits who lived there. The locals certainly ate a very healthy balanced diet and had the odd good red wine but very much the odd one. They didn't drink to get drunk and it wasn't part of there say to day life. I lived amongst the locals and it wasn't part of my life either.

Bottle of wine a night - no. Glass of wine a night - personally no issue with that.

Before everyone jumps on what the NHS guidelines are - I know. There are many things very bad for us, including cortisol induced by stress and a whole bunch of other inflammation, that’s before you even get to diet and exercise and environmental pollutants. I would look at the whole person and behaviour before taking a hard line. But yes, a daily bottle obviously too much.

Drinking any alcohol at all is not "normal" since it is a toxin and the body has to fight its adverse effects!

Your DH would never say smoking is normal would he? Lots still do but it has become socially unacceptable when once it was expected!

I think alcohol may go the same way - at least I hope so, despite my hollow legs.

It's common but it shouldn't be and it's not good for physical or mental health. But I was there too and it is a slippery slope, and one that is very tricky to get off. I was there because I was leaning on alcohol too much as a coping mechanism, I was unhappy and depressed and didn't feel good about myself, and of course alcohol just magnifies all of those things instead of helping them, but it's very difficult to see that for yourself when you're in the think of things and drinking a bottle or two of wine a day.

He needs to understand why he drinks, and at that level it won't be just because he likes a beer or thinks he's a wine connoisseur. There will be bigger reasons behind it. Then he needs to address those. But if he's not ready to do that, no amount of you telling him his drinking habits are abnormal is going to change things, and unfortunately he's just going to get defensive.

Being on the other side of it, what helped me was to reconnect with friends and get out for meet ups during the day, walks etc (not meals out which would inevitably involve drinking) and to start exercising more and set myself a training plan or target. This has lifted my mood massively and made me feel so much better physically that the craving for alcohol has reduced massively. Also listening to sober podcasts has been great. I hope your partner can start to see some of this for himself, but it's not easy at all

They do it in the cars on the way to and from their 50 hour a week retirement jobs. You mean you’re not doing that?!

Not normal in this house.

Yes, just like with obesity a lot of people hide behind "normal" or "average" and equate that to "healthy". They are in denial and the rest of us are picking up the tab via the NHS

I actually agree with your DH in some ways I don’t think he’s saying come join me in my (mm diagnosed) alcoholism he’s saying he’s love to spend a night sharing a really good wine and eating good food.

Hard disagree. It sounds very much like the DH is trying either to increase his intake in a more socially acceptable way than just drinking more by himself, or to increase OP's intake so that she becomes a hypocrite when she suggests he cut back (or that she is a puritan, boring etc if she refuses to join in).

Daily drinking is not good. Even when I was younger and loved wine, I always tried to have 3-4 nights off. These days I can take or leave it, but only ever drink on the weekend. It is a slippery slope and as you get older you need to be more careful about your health.

Yes, a bottle of wine is at least 10 units depending on ABV, so a bottle per night plus say a few extra drinks over the weekend = 100 units a week! This us not "mild" consumption or a Mediterranean diet...

Mild daily wine consumption is not an entire bottle, even on one day let alone every day! A bottle is not a personal portion. Drinking that amount every day is obscene.

I don’t think it’s normal as I don’t know how you’d fit it in every day. I love a drink and would love to drink daily but just can’t fit it in.

I can generally find the time once a week to have a few drinks, sometimes twice a week but that’s definitely less than 50% of the time, and sometimes I can’t find any slot free in the week at all so no days! And that’s now with adult kids and having a ‘retirement’ job (still at least 50 hours a week but a lot less than my busier work when kids were younger).

How do people fit in this time to drink daily?

I was going to say this. It’s not normal in my friendship group but I know people like this.

I really enjoy wine and could easily drink daily, from Christmas through January I found myself having a glass (or two) each evening. My DH said “I’ve noticed you’re drinking alot” and I was realised I was and it had become a bad habit. I’ve limited myself to a bottle each week now - over the course of two or three evenings.

Your DH is defensive.

You’re in the right place OP, the attitude to alcohol on here is the same as yours.

In my world lots of people drink every day and lots don’t. It’s not that much of a big deal. I probably have a glass of wine or two most days and my dad definitely has a couple of pints in the pub every night. Often I’m with him and it’s a lovely way for us to catch up. My DH has a couple of pints most nights if he’s at his sport or we’re out for our weekly date night. His parents the same.

I actually agree with your DH in some ways I don’t think he’s saying come join me in my (mm diagnosed) alcoholism he’s saying he’s love to spend a night sharing a really good wine and eating good food. My DH doesn’t drink wine and I enjoy it and would love the same. But he only drinks beer and it’s not so romantic in the classic way. Maybe he wants a shared experience and spending time together rather just an excuse to drink more. He’s an adult he can choose to drink as much as he wants.

Only you know it this is a deal breaker.

OP’s husband is definitely in denial and trying to make himself feel better about his mild dependency by suggesting his attitude is the more normal one.
As is the bizarre poster who thinks OP is trying to control him. Men with caring wives live longer. I gave up on my own cheating alcoholic ex partner who was a ‘bottle a day’ fan. He has since nearly died from a massive stroke.

Normal for some people. Not normal for others. The real issue is health, imo. I don't think it's healthy. If your partner's alcohol consumption bothers you then maybe you aren't suited for each other?

Quite apart from the effect of the alcohol, most people will put weight on having a couple of drinks a day regularly.

Not in my family. My grandparents pretty much only had a drink at Christmas. My parents only infrequently most of their lives. In retirement my mum had a couple of glasses of wine a week.