To think drinking daily is not “normal”

I agree it depends what you’ve grown up with. My mum is French and my dad is Spanish and we spent a lot of time in both countries. It was very normal to drink daily, in Spain some of the older men used to have brandy with their coffee at the cafe in the morning!

I think France has a bit of a problem with alcohol, I know more who drink daily and over recommended limits than those in the UK. I’ve noticed not drinking in the UK has become more fashionable.

Sadly I like my wine, and love sharing it over a meal with my husband.

I think it depends what you've grown up with.

My mum drank a glass or two of wine every day of her life. I saw that as a kid and thought it was normal. In my twenties I also drank a glass or two of wine every night and only when a few work colleagues started telling me it was weird did I pause to think.

Now I'm in my 40s I can't actually handle more than one small glass of wine a week!!! And now my mum has sadly passed and I reflect on things I can see why some think it's fine to drink everyday and some think it's odd.

I'm hoping my children will grow up seeing my husband and I drink only rarely, or one or two on the weekend and take that on as their model.

I don't think it's a drinking 'problem' to have a glass of wine or pint of lager every day. If that's all it is. But only if you can also stop doing that. If you need it, and can't do without it, it's maybe not a great relationship with alcohol...

Drinkers like people to drink with. They think it's wildly sociable, actually what they are doing is, sure, having a good time but also normalising their behaviour. I don't drink at all, partner is probably a functioning alcoholic. I don't ever say anything about his drinking, he's a grown up and can make his own choices. However at an event last year I overheard him say to someone, oh I'm stuck with a boring tee totaller. I was absolutely enraged given, to use his phrasing, I could equally say I'm stuck with a boring pisshead. Which is what I did say. If I was you OP I would be asking why wine has to be an element of date night? Rather why you drinking, if you don't want to is so important.

It is normal in so far as a lot of people do drink daily. That doesn't alter the fact that it would indicate a problem. No one with a healthy relationships to alcohol drinks every day.

I also don't think drinking a bottle of wine in one day/evening as a one off is horrendous. It's 4 glasses. Spread over several hours, taken with food...it's not actually a huge volume. However to be doing it everyday would require a lot of effort and expense! And it would take you way over your 14 units.

I can easily polish off two glasses of wine over a Sunday afternoon with lunch. And I will drink a few evenings a week too. Am I an alcoholic? No. I believe alcoholism and addiction in general boils down to dependency and how these things impact our lives, relationship, work etc.

Am I aware it's not especially healthy? Yes but neither are lots of the other things I enjoy. If I had to give them up for some reason or go a few weeks without drinking I could. But I would miss it purely because it's something I enjoy. That's just my take on it.

Daily seems like a lot. I don't think it's normal but depends on the circumstance.

A glass of nice wine to complement a meal at dinner- I don't think I'd bat an eyelid.

A couple of drinks just because or to unwind... I'd be worried about being reliant on alcohol.

Drinking a bottle of wine every day is as "normal" and "healthy" as morbid obesity. 🤷‍♀️

He has a dependency on alcohol and is trying to minimise it. He wants you to drink more to enable it.

Your attitude is not the problem.

(Teatotal and occasional drinkers are far more normal than that extent of daily alcohol use)

The same way as they fit in mealtimes. We often have a glass of wine with dinner.

Yes this

I'd suggest that the most useful responses on a thread like this would be from people who drink regularly, if the OP is looking for a sense of what a 'normal' moderate drinker drinks (which is what her DH appears to be telling her he is). If she's looking for anecdata on how much someone who would call themselves a regular drinker drinks, that's what she needs. Saying 'some people never drink at all or only drink at Christmas' isn't adding to it.

Having a broad range of people, whatever their own habits, saying that her husband's drink intake sounds very problematic is hopefully supportive to her sense of unease about it for sure. But if those opinions are coming from people who don't come across as totally uninterested or against alcohol consumption per se it's more useful surely? Otherwise it's the same posters who think someone having a drink every day on holiday is somehow problematic, and while some might think that's true, it's a totally different life view.

I know a lot of men who drink a beer or two daily. I personally stopped drinking on a schoolnight (mostly) as it disrupts my sleep and I want to be healthier.

Enjoying a drink is normal. Not enjoying a drink is also normal. So I don't think either of you are wrong there.
However it sounds like he's drinking too much especially if it's most days. And your friend who drinks a bottle of wine a night properly already has a problem.
We aren't big drinkers here though. DH doesn't drink at all (he used to) and I have one or two on a Friday night usually.
Why do your dates have to be about drinking? Have you suggested something else? Perhaps you can suggest something he's not keen on and then say but I enjoy it when he complains. Because that's also a bit controlling on his part. Dates should be about what you both enjoy, not one person insisting the other one does something they don't like.
Whichever way you look at it though I'd say he's drinking too much.

Well I expect you better get that message out there because I don’t think that’s the information coming from the medical professionals. You should be looking to reduce saturated fats, to avoid high cholesterol and its effects

I’m going to point out that for cooking it’s actually best to fry in lard/butter. For cold use of fats it’s best to use olive oil.

Depends on the question surely? If it's a thread asking people for wine recommendations then sure, not helpful to pop up and say you don't drink.
On this thread I think all opinions are helpful.

I think it’s unhelpful on general threads when people who never or almost never drink post on questions about moderate or holiday drinking. Just because those responses aren’t relevant to the question being asked. I know lots of people who barely or don’t drink but they wouldn’t then opine on it.

There's always one or two posters who say 'mumsnet is puritanical about alcohol' but it's such bullshit. The alcohol support forum on here is very well used - it pops up regularly in active threads for a reason.
Whenever anyone asks about how much alcohol people drink or should drink, there's always a spread of replies from - I never drink to a bottle of wine a day. But someone will always pop up with the hilarious 'thimble of sherry at Christmas' comment.

I think you’re wrong. (1965-1975) I think people DID have a drink after work fairly routinely. Gin or sherry or beer at home or in the pub, wine was served with meals rather than as a drink before. People drank and smoked over lunch too in some circles. Most people bought their alcohol in an off licence not the supermarket. Even in the 80s and 90s people went to the pub regularly and it was for all age groups.

Common enough but not in my house. I’d be wrecked if I drank every day. I’d hate it Dh did too.

People didn’t drink like this 50-60 years ago. Certainly not wine. It was a fairly expensive import until the 1990s, when the new world wines flooded the market and the EEC became easier to trade in. Pubs had shorter hours and you couldn’t buy drink in the supermarket between certain hours on Sundays for example.

Drinking culture has massively changed

He wants to be drunk every day? Why does he need to do that?

I agree with pps that it’s common but not normal. And it can definitely be a slippery slope. I ended up drinking up to 3 bottles of wine a day. Discovering more & more really good AF drinks. I had a zero gin & tonic in the pub the other night & actually checked with the barman because it tasted so authentic!

Did you show this thread to your husband by any chance? I can't see a woman talking like this.
I lived in the med for 5 years. They do not drink daily wine. It's a total myth. Most have jobs that require waking at 5am.

Find the time to drink? Are you serious?

It really shouldn’t be a problem unless you are seriously challenged in the multitasking department.

Depending what you google you get much less of a diffferential though the UK consumes more alcohol than Italy. Having also spent time in Italy there are more spirits, digestifs, caffe corretto and vino di tavola.

Daily drinking isn’t great but MN is puritanical about alcohol.