Son had just squared up to me

My DS did this just once to me at age 14 (and already much taller and wider than me!) DH read him the riot act but tbh I think he scared himself more than anything. He has never done it since. He still finds it difficult to control his emotions but when he gets in a rage he takes himself away from the situation. You will need to help him find strategies to calm down/regulate, if he can't do that himself.

This person needs to call the police on them "selfs". Username "offmynut" definitely checks out!

Some replies on here leave me at a loss for words, some people shouldn't be near children.

There's likely to be difficulties and lots of context that have led up to this. You need to look at all of that and work with him to help him learn to self-regulate and manage whatever circumstances are going on. Nobody on here knows his upbringing and your parenting up to this point, nor what triggered this, so you can't get good advice with no background from strangers on the internet.

Yes to this.

There are some ridiculous replies on this thread.

He's going to be an abuser forever because he's had threatening body language aged 15.

Jesus Christ… Op don’t listen to this ‘advice’. If you can decipher it of course..

HE DID NOT HIT ANYONE
this is really important to remember. He was angry and intimidating but didn’t actually hurt anyone, he needs help with expressing anger in a healthier way

I think you’re at a very important crossroads. At his age, if squaring up to women is tolerated, it may send a message that will influence how he treats future partners.

Obviously there’s very limited info on this but in general, I’d come down like a tonne of bricks. No devices, no pocket money, no lifts anywhere, no luxuries. I’d make sure he knew that he wasn’t the big man he wants to make himself out to be.

I remember my friend having this with her older boys (she has four) and it was just a phase in the end, I guess too much testosterone? It never escalated beyond squaring up and she handled it by telling them it was unacceptable and making sure they could talk to her about anything bothering them. Being a teenager is hard!

I had this with ds

he got so angry and it was like a power play between us (single mum) that had been building up

it did pass

i agree with go to bed talk tomorrow and consequences have to be something that works for him

He's not a child. He's probably taller and heavier than his mother, and he's old enough to know right from wrong. This needs to be nipped in the bud.

I would consider the police. He's a danger to his sister.

Did he hit his sister or did he stop himself from hitting her? I'm not clear. Also what does squared up mean? Looked at you aggressively? Shouted? Tbh if he was feeling angry and controlled himself enough to not hit and back down, then that is really something good you can work with.

Fuck off, absolute clown.

Is his father there? He can talk to him about it.

What was happening in the build uo to this? What you want is to manage the situation more successfully before this point. What is he like normally? Is he hard working? Does he have a job? Hobbies? Hiw old is your ddughter? She needs protecting. Id play holyhell if my ds was physical towards his sister. He would lose privileges, phone etc and hear about why it is unacceptable.

where is his dad tonight and what is he like?

What happened just before this?
How is usually in terms of mood, reactions, your relationship?
Is this totally out of the blue or what is his temperament like?
I would be having a good chat with him, he may be ashamed, apologetic etc but I'd be very clear that is completely unacceptable etc. Not minimising and taking a firm hand but also remaining close and depending on hopefully a good and close relationship to get you through what is obviously a tough time.

Yep, this. Take a breather

In which case you have less maturity than a 15 year old and would be teaching him that you agree violence is a solid solution to issues.

Cry, then he'll realise he's done wrong 😢

Honestly, just go to bed.

This day is fucked. go to bed.

Talk to him tomorrow.

There is some extreme advicebon this thead. What lead up to this point today?

Jesus Christ! What a way to take a sledge hammer to their relationship.
his behaviour is unacceptable of course however he is a CHILD and we have zero context as to what might have led to him feeling so out of control.

Wow. Just wow.

I would do this.
Get the heaviest pan you own next time and tell him you aint playing hit me or your sister see what happens.
Want to be a big man try it or do you think women cant defend there selfs.
Your a little boy to big for your boots so sit the fuck down or get the fuck out.
Id scare him even if i scared myself but i would stand my bloody ground.

Alternatively call the police your not going to take it from a grown man so dont take it from your own child.

Don't be completely ridiculous. Talk about overreacting!