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Original poster

Fallen out with DP over comment made at Sunday lunch

182 replies

PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 20:29

Opinions welcome as DP is adamant I am over-reacting. We went for a roast yesterday with a group of other couples (my friends and their OH’s). I have been going to the gym regularly since January and my friends complimented me on some changes in my figure. DP announced ‘the only problem is that with all the protein shakes, her farts take the paint off the walls’. Hardly anyone reacted and it went really awkward.

We had an argument about this when we arrived home and DP maintains I should lighten up. I feel like he embarrassed me for no reason and should apologise.

OP posts:
SunshineAndFizz · 03/03/2025 20:53

I'm guessing he's overweight or not happy with then?

It's a jealous snipe.

Mynicename · 03/03/2025 20:52

I kind of think if you are comfortable passing foul smelling wind in front of him then you should be comfortable to joke about it? If you're embarrassed about it, don't do it!

Chunkilumptious · 03/03/2025 20:51

What's his sense of humour usually like re farting etc? Is he normally kind? Is your sense that he was trying to embarrass you, or is it more that it was a swing and a miss and he needs to apologise?

Spirallingdownwards · 03/03/2025 20:49

PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 20:35

Not really, he says I’m being prudish and should stop being so highly strung.

Show quote history

He is being crass and should stop being a nob.

Mew2 · 03/03/2025 20:47

My hubby would have said similar- I would laugh

But I also say about some of the men in the gym that the noises they make when they lift weight is louder than the labour ward....

FairBrickBiscuit · 03/03/2025 20:45

28Fluctuations · 03/03/2025 20:42

Aww. He's taking you down a peg and then doing the classic 'it was just a joke - why can't you take a joke?" reversal - see the problem is you!

Except it's not. The problem is totally him.

Agreed. I would have felt embarrassed and humiliated by this. And I’m not at all humourless and I don’t mind being teased a bit, but this was nasty.

MissyB1 · 03/03/2025 20:44

He was putting you down in public, trying to humiliate you, it's a control thing.

28Fluctuations · 03/03/2025 20:42

Aww. He's taking you down a peg and then doing the classic 'it was just a joke - why can't you take a joke?" reversal - see the problem is you!

Except it's not. The problem is totally him.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 03/03/2025 20:41

Ok, so if that was a comment made amongst my 2 closest mates and their DH’s we’d have all howled with laughter, taken the p out of someone else , and moved on. We see each other twice a year if we’re lucky, but we’d all love to meet up more often.

I think you know the level of your friendships. You know what your DHs intent was, and you know how you feel about it.

On the info you ve given, I don’t think there’s any malice in his comment, he was trying to be funny and it fell flat. Not the end of the world.

wheretoyougonow · 03/03/2025 20:41

Unless there is a backstory where he consistently puts you down, this sounds like a misplaced comment/joke.
Not worthy really of being annoyed 24 hours later. Let it go. Literally- Dutch oven him asap 😂

Loopytiles · 03/03/2025 20:40

Not ‘humourless’ to dislike or be hurt by toilet ‘humour’ at one’s expense & when with friends for lunch

Somanylemons · 03/03/2025 20:39

This wouldn’t bother me with my actual friends - it would be taken as a joke which may or may not be based on truth.

But if it were say - colleagues or a new neighbour I wouldn’t like it.

Assume in his friendship circles this would have been funny and he read the room wrong.

Darkdiamond · 03/03/2025 20:39

This reply has been deleted

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No, some people don't like discussing their bodily functions. There are many valid reasons why and nobody should be forced to find something funny just because other people do. It's so reductive to accuse someone of having a poker up their arse because they don't like other people mentioning their private moments in front of people they dont want to discuss their farts with.

WhatDidIComeInThisRoomFor · 03/03/2025 20:37

Not nice. What he should have said was something along the lines of “yeah, she looks great doesn’t she, she’s really proud of all the effort she’s put in and rightly so”

Thirteenblackcat · 03/03/2025 20:37

Some people would find this funny, obviously the wrong audience

Wakeywake · 03/03/2025 20:37

He's not embarrassed you, he's embarrassed himself and shown himself to be coarse and rude.

Cattreesea · 03/03/2025 20:37

'@ArabellaWeird
He was taking you down a peg.'

Agreed.

He should be supportive of you wanting to lose weight and praise your achievements.

Instead he chose to put you down and embarrass himself in front of your friends.

CheekyHobson · 03/03/2025 20:36

PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 20:35

Not really, he says I’m being prudish and should stop being so highly strung.

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Does he often invalidate your feelings?

Darkdiamond · 03/03/2025 20:36

I'd feel very humiliated by that.
Also, if someone tells you that you've upset them, you don't tell them to lighten up. You take their word for it and apologise.

TomatoSandwiches · 03/03/2025 20:35

No he needs to apologise.

SabbatWheel · 03/03/2025 20:35

This reply has been deleted

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Ratisshortforratthew · 03/03/2025 20:35

This is the kind of thing my partner and I would say and I’d have found it funny. So would my friends. You and they sound humorless and uptight to me

BigFatLiar · 03/03/2025 20:35

Needs context

Was it just a random comment?
Was it said during a conversation that was meant to be funny but fell flat?

Original poster
PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 20:35

CheekyHobson · 03/03/2025 20:34

This. Does he typically try to take the shine off your achievements, or make your special days less about you?

Show quote history

Not really, he says I’m being prudish and should stop being so highly strung.

OP posts:
CheekyHobson · 03/03/2025 20:34

ArabellaWeird · 03/03/2025 20:32

He was taking you down a peg.

This. Does he typically try to take the shine off your achievements, or make your special days less about you?

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