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Fallen out with DP over comment made at Sunday lunch

182 replies

PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 20:29

Opinions welcome as DP is adamant I am over-reacting. We went for a roast yesterday with a group of other couples (my friends and their OH’s). I have been going to the gym regularly since January and my friends complimented me on some changes in my figure. DP announced ‘the only problem is that with all the protein shakes, her farts take the paint off the walls’. Hardly anyone reacted and it went really awkward.

We had an argument about this when we arrived home and DP maintains I should lighten up. I feel like he embarrassed me for no reason and should apologise.

OP posts:
Yerblues · 03/03/2025 21:49

hangxiety · 03/03/2025 21:44

Sorry but I think what he said is hilarious 🤣 you sound uptight & no craic

Really? Says more about you.

Yerblues · 03/03/2025 21:48

MumWifeOther · 03/03/2025 21:29

I think you’re over reacting

Well I don’t. He sounds like a pig.

KnewYearKnewMe · 03/03/2025 21:47

3Sheetstothewind · 03/03/2025 21:40

If you can't be yourselves amongst friends then when can you be?........

But she is being herself, and that type of humour is not her style.

It's not mine, either. I'd hate it,

MissedItByThisMuch · 03/03/2025 21:45

It’s not really about the comment itself - some people would find it funny, some people would be offended. It’s how he reacted when you told him you were unhappy about it - with the classic bully “you just don’t have a sense of humour” line. That’s what’s offensive here.

hangxiety · 03/03/2025 21:44

Sorry but I think what he said is hilarious 🤣 you sound uptight & no craic

RIPVPROG · 03/03/2025 21:44

It's toilet humour, childish at worst.
Tbh DH eats a lot of protein and has protein shakes for the gym. His flatulence reeks.
It's not the kind of joke that I'd find hilarious but it also wouldn't be the cause of a falling out.

LBFseBrom · 03/03/2025 21:42

3Sheetstothewind · 03/03/2025 21:40

If you can't be yourselves amongst friends then when can you be?........

Another poster said he obviously didn't 'read the room', and i think that is spot on in this case. They are mainly the op's friends. He certainly misjudged but telling her she is 'prudish' and not apologising for what was an extremely immature and inappropriate remark is not good.

LouH1981 · 03/03/2025 21:42

Ratisshortforratthew · 03/03/2025 20:35

This is the kind of thing my partner and I would say and I’d have found it funny. So would my friends. You and they sound humorless and uptight to me

I was thinking the same. My DH would say something like this and I wouldn’t care. Not sure what that says about me 🙈

3Sheetstothewind · 03/03/2025 21:42

But then I'm the mum who tells my DD to "pull my finger"...........😁

Starlight7080 · 03/03/2025 21:42

It's sad he is so insecure that when you had compliments he had to put a stop to that nice moment . And turn it into something negative.
A good husband would be proud and show support

Onlyvisiting · 03/03/2025 21:41

That's rank.
I'm not a fan of toilet humour of any kind, I'm not a prude, I just don't find it funny. Amongst close family and friends or something that normally share that kind of joke I'd find it tasteless. But amongst a group of people he doesn't know well and in the situation you described it is at best just a childish and gross sense of humour, but at worst it was him deliberately being negative about your diet/ weight loss and is just really unkind.

Tumblingthrough · 03/03/2025 21:41

If it’s any consolation OP
If I was one of the friends at that lunch, it would be him I would be judging and not you.

3Sheetstothewind · 03/03/2025 21:40

If you can't be yourselves amongst friends then when can you be?........

pizzaHeart · 03/03/2025 21:39

Quinlan · 03/03/2025 20:31

That was just nasty and not funny. Does he often try to bring you down when others compliment you? Has he complicated you at all on the fitter figure you have?
It just isn’t a very nice thing to say and isn’t funny; it was purely to embarrass you. That’s what would annoy me. That he simply wanted to embarrass you after someone paid you a compliment. It’s like a childish style of jealousy.

I agree with this ^
tbh after this sort of joke I wouldn’t be able to see DH again.

Ihopeithinkiknow · 03/03/2025 21:38

Glad to see that nobody is overreacting about it in some of the replies lol.

xteac · 03/03/2025 21:37

It's different people's perception of funny. Sounds like he's misread the room.
He'd be better off swallowing his pride and apologising for having upset you in front of friends though.

saraclara · 03/03/2025 21:37

I thought I was relatively prudish, but it turns out I'm not! I've never made a fart joke, and nor did my late DH. But plenty of people do find them funny, and you'd have to live under a rock not to realise that it's not a terrible thing to do.

I'm amazed at how horrified some posters are at the very idea!

Gettingbysomehow · 03/03/2025 21:36

What a disgusting and vulgar thing to say. Does he know how to behave in public?

crockofshite · 03/03/2025 21:36

It sounds like he's a general bore. If they liked him they probably would have tittered a bit, but the fact they all tumble weeded shows they don't rate him.

DingDingRound3 · 03/03/2025 21:33

I'd snigger but think it was rather vulgar... which I can be. No biggie

sprigatito · 03/03/2025 21:30

I agree with @Goodadvice1980 and don't think it's a leap at all. He instinctively dislikes you being built up and complimented, so he said something sly and nasty to burst your bubble. A LOT of men do this. It's horrible.

MrsWaltonGoggins · 03/03/2025 21:30

I would have found this funny and so would my friends.

MumWifeOther · 03/03/2025 21:29

PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 20:29

Opinions welcome as DP is adamant I am over-reacting. We went for a roast yesterday with a group of other couples (my friends and their OH’s). I have been going to the gym regularly since January and my friends complimented me on some changes in my figure. DP announced ‘the only problem is that with all the protein shakes, her farts take the paint off the walls’. Hardly anyone reacted and it went really awkward.

We had an argument about this when we arrived home and DP maintains I should lighten up. I feel like he embarrassed me for no reason and should apologise.

I think you’re over reacting

PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 21:28

LBFseBrom · 03/03/2025 21:27

What a vulgar remark! He needs to learn to control his tongue, think before speaking and assess his audience. How old is your husband?

He’s late 40’s.

*not married

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 03/03/2025 21:27

What a vulgar remark! He needs to learn to control his tongue, think before speaking and assess his audience. How old is your husband?

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