Friend's one night stands to get pregnant

It's hardly unusual for a woman's husband to have had sexual experiences before meeting their wife. One doesn't have to be 10000 miles away to father a child with a woman he never sees or hears from again. Remote chance your husband's fling was desperately trying to conceive a child with a complete unknown. Plus even 40 years ago, plenty of women had access to abortions. Theoretically the majority of current husbands could have fathered an unknown child........

When I was single in my mid 20s I fleetingly thought about this approach. I doubt I would ever have carried it out but that's easy to say when you are in a relationship and get pregnant quite easily.
I can't judge her.
If she is being upfront and trying to be careful it's not really a huge issue as long as she knows what she's letting herself in for.

She told him she was on the pill

I thought this straight away. Now way is she telling them she wants a baby. She's telling you what she thinks you want to hear.

Key info missing

the fling he had…. Unprotected sex? @Muddlingalongsomehow

How does she avoid diseases like HIV?? She does regular STI tests but that doesn't cure herpes or HIV once you've caught it. If they're one night stands, she obviously isn't getting them tested before shagging them sans condoms. And any man willing to have unprotected sex with a stranger isn't the sort to care about sexual health so far more likely to have an STI. Just grim.

Maybe a moments thought about telling her child how it was conceived in the future? Might knowing they were conceived via a one night stand cause them psychological problems?
I'd say using a clinic was better.

your friend is the sort of person who I sincerely hope never conceives a child….somebody who has no morals and no ability to think of a child’s needs and that children are often interested in their parentage …..and, what’s more, has the tools to find it’s absent parent when it reaches maturity.

I agree. She needs help to accept that she is a single, childless woman. There are plenty who do and have successful, fulfilling iives, with fun. Or else find someone genuine with whom she is prepared to at east try and settle down.

However she may not become pregnant, it often doesn't happen when people are too frantic.

How bloody wonderful for the child to know it was the product of a one night stand not.
What's happened to people?

Women get to choose whether they continue with a pregnancy. Men need to take as much responsibility as they can.

You and your friend come across as quite naive people. You are also pretty ignorant as to what women should do to protect men from their stupid decisions. (Hint: Nothing)

What would she do if the "donor" had an unknown genetic illness and her kid gets sick and she can't find him? Proper sperm banks have backups for this very reason. Shes playing with fire with her potential babys health before they're even conceived, poor kid.

I am old, recently widowed. Blissfully married for 41 years. Six months before we got together, this very unworldly and inexperienced but very attractive man who went on to be my husband had had a few days' fling on a family holiday in Oz with his cousin's friend, a single mum with a toddler. He never heard anything of her again.

I have often wondered over the years if she was wanting another kid, and he'd have been ideal- handsome, clever, lived 10000 miles away, no problems. He'd never know. And one day there would be a knock on our door and a youngish Aussie will be on the doorstep, saying "Hi, you don't know me but...."

I guess for that to happen, my girls would have to go on one of the DNA websites and be matched....

It's a strange thought.

@user263758918 you need new friends

Hope she know who the men are after. It's important for a child to be able to k own where they cane from even if there isn't a parental relationship imo

I know a couple of people who have done this, it’s more common than some on here think. I’d say though that the most surprising thing for me is just how many men don’t care and are happy to risk it for unprotected sex, or are actively turned on by the idea. Then they walk away.

Maybe she’s enjoying a bit of a thrill of thinking this time she might be pregnant, but not actually caring that much when it turns out she isn’t? Like playing the lottery really.

Shame

I compared all the clinics in my city and none were less than 10k with all costs considered, but keep on if you want to!

Well she’s being a bit daft if she’s having one night stands with the intention of getting pregnant because she’s “desperate” for children

but not timing with her cycle

she is winding you up op!

You were overcharged
My sister used and under £10k

I think the friend is winding the Op up!

She’s been doing this for years

She reassured me that she does do STD tests and never puts herself at risk.

How can she not be putting herself at risk when she’s having unprotected sex with multiple randos??

My first thought was she must be absolutely teeming with disease, which isn’t exactly ideal for a pregnancy.

It's all very well having STD tests after exposure, but she is running the risk of contracting something and being pregnant at the same time.