To cater the funeral myself? WWYD

I've used Morrisons and been really impressed before for daughter's christening.

What others do you recommend please?

I catered a funeral in a village hall as we were unable to get caterers.
I did ploughman's lunch french bread, pickles and cheese and ham. Lots of grapes, sausage rolls bowls of crisps,crackers.
And then an assortment of super market desserts.
Everyone had plenty to eat and seemed happy with the choice.

My condolences on your loss.

Don’t do this- far too much work with a funeral to go to as well. Depending on where the wake will be held order trays of sandwiches/buffet items from Morrisons or M&S - they can be picked up that morning. If you’re hosting at home get in extra milk for tea etc and soft drinks, otherwise outsource it all to the supermarkets.

But I’d be looking in to other venues with better reputations for food.

Because sometimes that's all people can afford. They can still look at photo's, chat and share a drink. I certainly won't be pursing my lips at them and telling them they are 'shameful.'

Sometimes they had a difficult relationship with that person and actually, they aren't celebrating their life; they are marking the occasion.

What's shameful is you going round passing judgement when there are lots of things that people do in this life that are genuinely shameful.

It seems that, at the moment, in my place of work, we are seeing more of these shorter type gatherings. I would suggest cost of living has a great deal to do with it. And that's fine; people shouldn't get into debt over a funeral wake. It sounds like the OP has some perfectly sensible suggestions on how to organise the food and I hope she manages to sort out out the practicalities of the day.

I catered my father in law's funeral (wake was at their house). It was a lot of work, took all of the two days before the funeral to make everything (large memorial book cake, cupcakes, pizza trays that I cooked at their house). If you don't have that sort of time and energy spare I really wouldn't. I only did it because my mother in law could in no way afford to pay for catering or even the shop bought things that most people are suggesting.

I would get sandwich platters and cakes from M&S, this is what the family did at a recent funeral where they self catered. It made it easy for them and the food was nice.

I catered the wake for DMs funeral at home. Three of us prepared a selection of beigels with different toppings - tuna mayo, smoked salmon and cream cheese, egg mayo, hummus. We had crisps and dips and crudités. I bought biscuits and cakes. The table looked lovely and everyone commented on the food.

Maybe your dad just doesn't want to have to worry about anything on the day. And you doing the food and cutting it fine would be a distraction. And he should come first.

You struggle with rushing around, are grieving, have young children, and don’t drive. Do not even think of doing this yourself. Pre order from M&S or similar, and ask a friend to take charge of making sure it’s ready when people arrive after the service.

M&S - yes. Morrisons - God no!

Don't do anything that involves cutting it fine. It isn't worth it. I know you want to keep busy, but do this in other ways, and go with the path of least resistance that will not have you running yourself ragged on the morning trying to balance a cooked ham on the roof of your car while you strap your kids in. It will frazzle you.

Delegate, go with the M+S sandwiches, or the existing buffet provider, you're looking for function not form.

I'd go to a local pub you know, usually cheaper and more relaxed.

This. M&S do nice sandwich platters and finger food. And will deliver. If folks can have a few nice sandwiches, sausage rolls and a cup of tea that’d be fine.

How are you getting from the church or crematorium to the pub? People who are not joining you for the wake will want to speak to the immediate family before leaving, whilst those going to the wake may head off more promptly and arrive before you get there and set the food up.

Ideally, someone who isn’t attending the funeral should be at the wake venue to set up the food. If someone at the funeral can phone when the service ends, they will know when people are on their way and also get an idea of magnitude of numbers, ie is there a just handful or hundreds there?

Most bakeries will take orders for a fruit cake, mini pasties, sausage rolls and scones. You just order the number you want and collect in the morning.

I have used Morrisons for some work things recently and it was absolutely fine. I added some cakes as well. So easy to set out and it all got eaten so I would recommend them.

When my Mum died we ordered a large fruit cake, a tray of scones, a tray of sausage rolls and a tray of mini pasties from the local bakery. 4 trays of ready prepared sandwiches from Morrisons and a few quiches which my sister sliced. A few bags of crisps, Whatsits and a few tubs of Pringles, a bag of carrot sticks and a couple trays of dips and jam and creme for scones. My sister collected the things. 2 very kind ladies from Mother's Union who were Mums friends set it all out. Also an urn of tea and coffee. Urns borrowed from Mother's Union which Mum had belonged to for years. It all went off well. There was some left over which my sister took for her DH lunch box.

I did all the catering for my Dad's. I wanted to as it felt like the last thing I could do for him

For my MILs funeral we bought big trays of sandwiches, cakes, crisps etc from Costco and it was all pretty good.

For my Dad's 70th we ordered buffet food from Waitrose to be delivered on the morning of the party.

Both relatively cheap and a lot less hassle than making it yourself.

wow!
why bother ?

I find that quite disrespectful toward the person that has passed. People find a wake as a way of dealing with the loss. It should be an event as much as a wedding or a birthday, a celebration and reflection of someone’s life.

Rubbish sandwiches on a paper plate or tea and biscuits and off you go ? Shameful.

And that’s why I answered….