Teenaged DD not letting go of childhood.

I meant both, neither are just for babies and toddlers. They normally have a smaller area for the babies and toddlers within it though don't they

In my area some places are 12 and under/ or under a certain height. The only one I very rarely see teenagers in is the local wacky warehouse

I have autism and I played with dolls and did lots of imaginary play until my Mum negatively commented on it when I was about 12-13 and I stopped as I felt so embarrassed. I wish she had never said anything to me. If your child has SEN then their home should be their safe space to indulge in whatever they’re interested in. If they’re having issues outside the home that need support then fair enough but there are much worse things than playing with toys or watching Bluey etc.

I should also add that I hate bras for sensory reasons and never wear one (even though I’m a 34GG). I wear soft crop tops and when I was younger non wired sports bras if I absolutely HAD to but would take them off asap. I find them so uncomfortable.

What do school say? What are her friends like with these things?

Re the toys, a lot of toys are given to children too young. Eg sylvanian families are given to very young children but if you think about the detail and small parts, they are actually much better suited to older children. It's the same with lots of other toys.

When I was in college, a lot of students watched telly tubbies and the like. I think it was mindless nonsense that relaxed them during stressful times.

Temperature tantrums sound very teenager-y! 🤣

A lot of children are too advanced for their age, or at least act and look that way. One of my daughter's friends had a proper boyfriend at 12. My daughter didn't even start noticing boys in that way until she was almost 15.

If she needs a bra, why not start with a crop top or sports bra? These are a bit more vest like than a proper bra and might help her get used to the idea.

Does she have any independence eg does she walk to school by herself? If not, could she start walking the last 5mins and gradually build it up? If she already does, why not push it a bit and arrange to meet her for afternoon cake, a little bit further away (but somewhere she knows really well). Don't be forceful but do keep coming back to the idea if she initially says no. Or catching a bus with you seeing her off and someone else meeting her at the other side.

My daughter still dislikes being at home by herself so I don't think she's ever been alone for more than 30mins. Not great but we've never needed to.

Can you introduce her to things that maybe bridge the gap between the two, for example anime as it's still cartoons? And things like Hello Kitty, Pokemon etc that still have a big adult following? Cosy Switch games like Animal Crossing?

It sounds like there are some developmental issues that could be worked on (related to tantrums etc.) but watching children’s tv shows, having her old comfort toys, etc. seems harmless and not a “problem”.

Sounds like she's having a hard time and that this behaviour is a symptom rather than the actual problem here.

My dd is very articulate and always used the toilet. She has ASD and an EHCP. There will be support.

Yes, girls with ASD often go under the radar and mask well until puberty hits and psychologically it all gets too much. It’s why gender dysphoria tends to hit then (it did with mine). I’d ask for a full non-specific ed psych eval to check there isn’t anything ND related or emotional/psychological going on. It sounds as though, whatever is at play, she would benefit from some therapy.

I think the playing with toys etc is fine, however the lack of independence, and not being able to leave the house alone, is a concern especially as you drive her to school so she’s not learning to travel independently.
Could you speak to the school SENCO for advice?
Could you encourage DD to do small errands outside the house - post a letter, go to the corner shop, go to the local library?
Does she go to any clubs after school or at weekends?
Some children have to be gently encouraged to be more independent.

My nephew is Sen and he's very young too, he's in year 7 now and he's young in ways, it's just the way he his

Have a chat with her, don't label her as SEN yet, it seems to be quite the rage

I have a very immature 14 year-old who's older sibling was borderline adult at that age!

Maybe she just feels comfortable around her loved ones and likes to be with you.

How does her school feel she's doing?

Isn't it? I thought it was a play area for babies and toddlers. Is it for teenagers and adults as well?

A lot of them I have been to are for age 12 and under unless you are talking about the large trampoline / adventure type places. So a teenager would not be able to go.

I'd look at an assessment for ND if your concerned, but if she's verbal, can use the toilet ect then there won't be much support tbh,

A lot of what you have said would lead me to assume ND. I don't wear bra's because their uncomfortable + im very flat chested so see no point. Would she wear a crop top under her shirts if you suggested it?

Regarding the baby shows ect, just leave her to it. It's not harming anyone and it sounds like she enjoys them ( repeatedly watching the same thing is seen a lot in ND people )

Is she bothered about having a few friends or does she want more?

Not wanting to leave the house alone is also seen a lot in ND

Soft play isn't just for toddlers 😅

How old is she?
Does she have younger siblings? When you say watching Bluey do you mean she is choosing it or she is just sitting with a younger sibling and watching it? It’s a big difference.
Does she need bra or not?

My DD was the same . More immature than her peers although I found them too advanced for my liking . Talking about make up , boys , designer gear at 12/13 in a way I thought was more appropriate at 16 +. I didn't want her to be left behind with no friends but it is a hard balance . I think she was scared to let go of childhood as she found it difficult to be at their level . Maybe a bit ND but not diagnosed. I watched her continue at her own pace and she went to uni , etc . Still doesn't seem to enjoy a lot of things her peers do but is making her own way in the world . But horsey is still on her bed!

You say ‘won’t leave the house alone’ but presumably she’s getting herself to school? So is capable?

Struggling with the thought of growing up can be an indicator of ASD.

I think people are being unfair saying you are pushing her to grow up. If my teenager (even at 13) wanted to watch Bluey or In the Night Garden, didn't engage well friends her own age and couldn't talk at an appropriately mature level about topics I would also be concerned. I would get her assessed by a doctor/psychologist to see if there are any underlying causes for it all.

She likes soft play? Are you taking her to soft play OP? The staff don't mind a teenager playing amongst the toddlers?

Becoming an adult is very scary and some people will resist it. Childhood things might provide safety and security for her.

As in all stages of life it is best not to push but allow her to move as her personal development allows her.

I'm not sure why you resent this so much?