DH did F'all all weekend

He sounds lazy OP. My husband will run the hoover round every single day as we have a dog! He will mop also if needed otherwise every other day, take the dog out everyday and to be honest anything else that needs doing.

I have a chronic health condition which means every day is different for me & he has never made me feel like I don’t pull my weight.

He works as I can’t! He has a very stressful job but still manages to do everything that needs doing that day/week.

When I have good days I do go out of my way to do things for him, I am his personal stylist so he never needs to go shopping as I ensure his wardrobe is kept up to date. Which he loves as he will only go shopping with me and to be honest I haven’t been for quite a few years. All of the online shopping is done by me & he does all the returns. Kids do their ironing & I do ours. I do all the laundry.

It takes me a while to get mobile in the mornings & he loves to crack on with chores early so he can chill the remainder of the day.

His cleaning could be better which he acknowledges but he likes to whizz around which at the end of the day may be not as thorough as me but at least he does it and it’s that which is important and he is getting better.

He has shown the children that when circumstances change in a family this is how a partner should step up and to never be resentful. It’s a partnership, it’s not about one partner doing more of the household chores. We all have our different skill sets and by working together there is harmony in a family.

We have been married for 30 years but it doesn’t feel like it.

I am good at interior design I think so anything house related I style and buy things for.

He is very bad at DIY so I get trades in.

He can be quite oblivious to what needs doing so I tell him & that has always worked well for us. Him and the kids love to say how I always find things that need doing around the house!

I honestly don’t know how things would be at home if my husband was one of these men.

This wouldn’t bother me, as we both understand the need for a break.

Context counts for a lot. If he lazes in front of the TV all through the summer months then that is a different matter. An odd weekend in February not such a big deal.

After 5 days working weekends are for doing as much or as little as you want to in our house.

No one dictates what another person does.

If big projects need doing a few days annual leave are taken to get the job seen to and done.

Some weekends I feel burnt out and do the bare minimum and so does dh, but it's not usually at the same time. While it can be annoying when you're laser focused and the other is mooching, on this occasion you had time with your DD and he also had some downtime.

To avoid resentment DH and I divide up the essential tasks on a Friday night (ie cooking, kids activities, washing uniforms) so we noth know what we MUST do, everything else we do is optional and on each of us.

It's starting to sound like you aren't being very kind to him because it sounds like you've all been away, most of the household are tired and out of sorts, and instead of just accepting that different people go at different paces and that's fine because he generally pulls his weight, you're creating an atmosphere because not everyone could, or wanted, to bounce back straight into real life. Chill.

But I expect to work on the house at least 3 hours over the weekend!

This does sound a bit like you're his boss though!

Sometimes I do more than DH at the weekend, sometimes it's the other way round. So long as it balances out fairly evenly I don't mind him having a 'lazy' weekend.

I think you're being quite harsh on him. I'd also watch the keeping score and counting hours too much, that is really poisonous to a marriage if you let it get out of hand, you're a married couple not a childcare business.

If you feel he's not pulling his weight generally you need to discuss it together with no kids around and make sure you have equal downtime after work, childcare, house and life admin is taken care of. Getting the hump because he didn't match your timesheet hours this weekend isn't the way to do it imo.

And TBH he has fed the children both days, which means he's taken care of that mental load so you haven't had to worry about it - it doesn't matter if it's a simple meal, he's still taken care of it. This stuff works both ways!

Sometimes, particularly if you work in the week, weekends are just for chilling.

I feel you're playing martyr. Have a friendly chat with him, but no pressure.

Well my DH walked the dog, did homework with both kids, took us all shopping as I can’t drive at the moment due to surgery, also took dd off to get new school shoes. Put half the bathroom back together following some diy work and then took down the chandelier bit by bit, cleaned it, and put it back together again. Helped DS measure out his ingredients for food tech today. Played with both kids.

This. I don't think I did anything at all useful all weekend, other than a bit of gardening. I stayed in bed late both days while DH took DS to his football training and a match, and read and wrote and lay about.

We topdressed the garden with compost from the compost bin, I planted some seeds for the greenhouse and dahlia tubers, DH ran the moss machine over the lawn. Each one of us cooked a dinner. Took two walks, went to lunch one day and went to the ironmongers for some things, friends came over Sunday. But we are in our late 50s/early 60s and don't have children about!

Spring is coming, and it is nice to be outside and not deal with indoors chores.

As a one off it is fine, he needed some downtime.

Dont really think not walking is acceptable though. He should have brought 5 year old along, or asked eldest to walk dog alone.

We do them occasionally but not every weekend.

Painting once every 4 years or so. Might take time off
Tip run. Won’t go at weekend as it’s always rammed. And we’d go say once every 3 months.

Garden as and when

Deep clean on bank holidays usually. But only one room.

Why didn't he take the 5yo on the dog walk? Talk about making excuses.

Is he the sort of man you can have a reasonable conversation with? What did you do when you got home from shopping? Did you have to pick up and do stuff he hadn't done and therefore delayed starting on the laundry until Sunday? I'd raise it that this is not being a team player and you have spent the entire weekend on household tasks as a consequence of him [and potentially your children] not stepping up.

Do you work FT? Or does he see weekends as his to do whatever he likes with because you are a SAHM?

List of jobs for the weekend - written prominently and in the kitchen. That [if funds allow] with a cash value beside for jobs that the kids are capable of doing.

I did eff all for the last two weekends! I've just realised I'm probably depressed. Need to snap out of it 😢

I don't understand this. When do you get any jobs done?!

I don't mean everyday tidying, but things like a deep clean/tip run/painting a room/ tidying the garden after winter?

I think the other posters are right here.

It's the bigger picture that counts here. Not whether he matched your 3 hours this particular week-end.

Weekends aeee for relaxing. We never do 3 hours work on the house at the weekends.

Some weekends especially at this time of year a general malaise comes over us and we just have weekends of relaxation, eating treats, dog walks and watching sport or films.

The house doesn't fall down. We however are much restored.