Friends not sponsoring dh

That's fine. Don't ask people to sponsor you/your children and there's no issue.

So many people are giving to charity, they don't need this additional bullshit. I will make a point now of never sponsoring anybody for anything.

Dead right. Its a show put on to justify whatever small % of the funds raised go to the actual cause.

Feeling very sorry for you- you've copped a fairly undeserved pasting here. Personally ( as said elsewhere) I never give to sponsored things for all the reasons here, and as the donations are usually whittled away in costs. I have my charities and support them to the hilt. However, you have been touched up for donations and , i think could expect reciprocation. But I'd only be asking those who have hit me up in the past.

I'd never considered giving to charity to be a two-way street. I think people are getting their egos caught up in this which is supposed to be about a charity not their own tally.

I'm not being mean at all. I lost my BIL to MND 2 years ago so I'm well aware jist how horrendous the beast is and I actively support MND charities. What I'm questioning is how the OP said she would know if people gave directly to the charity? How would she have that information.

If you canvas sponsors for your child then yes, you owe it to the sponsors to return the favour. Otherwise, don't ask for other people to give sponsorship to your child, pay it yourself/ask your family - not the general public.

OP isn't wrong about the sponsorship being a one-way street for some people.

I've drawn the line at sponsoring. Have friends with form in this area- all their mates do the contributing, they get the tax break (30% - do they donate that back I wonder?) and the kudos. Plus there's also a % taken by the sponsoring page (Just Giving et al). I have my own well researched , preferred charities.

He’s trying to raise money for research into MND, one of the nastiest incurable diagnoses anyone can get. You might not want to sponsor or like the idea of sponsorship but there’s no need to be so mean

It's not really about the money or sponsorship, it's about the friendship and being both ways. Friends will understand if you say you're sorry but you're maxed out on giving this year as there have been a lot of requests. To just ignore it though, can make someone feel like all the friendship is one sided. If you can't give to friends, maybe don't also ask friends to give to you?

Can't say I have 100 friends that would ask for sponsorship though, so that's a bit easier.

So if 100 people sponsor my child for a charity say $5 each then I have to sponsor those 100 people back at $500 cost to myself. You realise the parents of the child aren't keeping the money?

It seems pretty dodgy - is it some tinpot charity the OP has set up for her husband's lycra adventures?

Those should be banned. What on earth do developing countries need with clueless children visiting to feign 'work'? I won't ever pay to those, whoever they are. Nobody needs that experience... not the children and not the country/community either.

It is beyond arrogant to assume that privileged children with no experience or qualification to do the work, can do it better than the local community themselves.

I didn't miss it but didn't comment on that bit particularly. OP is absolutely justified in feeling annoyed that her friends haven't sponsored her husband given that they have asked for and received sponsorship from OP before now.

If you are happy to ask for and receive sponsorship then you'd better be prepared to give that back - and that's whether it's for adults or children. I'm with the OP on that.

My main point though is that activities that require actual funding to enable it to go ahead should have the costs met - all of them - by the people wanting to do the activity. Sponsorship should be after all of those costs have been met so that people are certain that their money is going to the charity concerned.

He knows everything.

because most of the event sponsorship will go to a third party profit making company & bugger all will end up with the charity.

I work in the charity sector, but avoid charities that use event/challenge type sponsorship as a source of funding - and if I choose to give to charity it will be one of my choosing, whose accounts I've read and am happy with - not one that happens to be running a challenge event that DH's husband fancies for his holiday.
Probably a lot cheaper to book independently and make a donation to the chosen charity - oh wait, DH not expecting to pay, is expecting friends and family to subsidise his hobby/holiday.

How would you know if they gave directly to the charity? Are you involved in the charity yourself?

I'm not a big fan of fund raisers, but totally understand that when you've sponsored friends' kids for their total number of jumps, or something else mundane, it bites a bit when you, just for once, do something and they don't get on board with even a token amount of support. One sided friendships can leave you feeling used and it isn't nice when the moment arrives that you discover it was one sided.

I just donate nearer the time or on the day.

Kind of agree with some other posts regarding sponsoring a keen runner on the marathon. Find it a bit annoying to be hassled but I donate to many charities every month by direct debit

I am usually happy to donate to a good cause. But it does drive me nuts when the scouts try to pack my bags (which I'm happy to pack myself) to send Marmaduke to a jamboree in some far flung place. I'm afraid I have to draw the line somewhere with my goodwill and that's it.
I would happily give to someone raising money for MND.

So many charities pay huge salaries & mismanage the rest.
Some do dodgy dealings & some are criminal.

If we decide to sponsor someone, we do. If we don’t, we don’t feel bad.
It’s not a given that someone will sponsor your DH and its well cheeky to expect they will.

Our reasons barely ever have anything to do with spending - nearly always because we just don’t trust the charities.

I went to a presentation at my DD school for one of these trips and the sales pitch was highly questionable, akin to the old double glazing salesman. DD really wanted to go but we said no as in order to ’fundraise’ for the trip she would repeatedly be asking the same friends and family for their donations in exchange for whatever. I didn’t think that was right. Yes it’s a wonderful experience for them but it’s not my friends, family and colleagues who should be paying for my child to go on a jolly

Good luck to your husband, how disappointing that your friends aren’t being as supportive as you’d have thought they would be! How close are you? What happens when you send the link over, do they reply?

Maybe you could arrange a fundraiser if you need more money. Some of these charities ask for so much, it becomes stressful trying to reach the target. Good luck again

Me too. If you want to climb a mountain or walk the Great wall of China, then do so, but why does that oblige me to sponsor you? Why not use the money you raise to pay the expenses to make your own donation?

It seems nowadays the default donation is £10+.

I rarely see people donating less.

So I wonder if there’s actually a lot of people who would like to donate but perhaps can only afford £5 and therefore don’t want to look stingy.

Which is a shame.

I would sponsor a child because they are usually doing it via a school event thing, and I think it can foster a sense of achievement for them while raising money for a good cause.
I would never, ever sponsor an adult to do something pointless because...well, it's pointless and I couldn't care less if you run a marathon/jump out of plane/sit in a bath of baked beans etc etc.
If you want me to give money to a charity that you are trying to raise money for, then I agree with a pp - you have to offer me something, be it entertainment, cake, raffle prizes, doing something useful....a friend of mine will bake you a cake at her cost for a donation (you decide how much) to a specific charity; the Macmillan coffee mornings are an excellent idea imo.
But otherwise - just say that xyz is a cause dear to your heart and ask people to donate anything if they can. And take the money you'd have spent for entering the London Marathon or whatever and donate that too.