Friends not sponsoring dh

It’s not a friend though. It’s parents of kids at the school. It’s often random people at work etc

And it might be worth Little Jonny’s parents teaching little Jonny that when he gets sponsored he should like to see others sponsored in future. Perhaps they’ll make a point of sponsoring someone, child or adult, in return.

I have a set budget for charity donations every year and I want that money to go to the charities I've picked.

I'll happily sponsor kids a few quid, because they're kids, it's important and little Jonny isn't going to understand why Uncle Bob doesn't want to give him money for his sponsored danceathon or whatever.

But I don't sponsor other adults. If they want to give money to charity, they can give their own money, just as I do. Usually it's just an excuse because they want to spend time on their hobby and need an excuse to spend hours and hours and hours away from their family in training

OP don’t be passive, you said your friends badgered you to sponsor their little darlings (I don’t agree with this), and you were v kind to do so, but now have some fun here, and play them at their own game, and shamelessly publicly badger for sponsorship on a night out in front of others!! I can tell it’s not your style, but they’ve shown they were just out for themselves previously and just wanted sponsorship for themselves at that time, and not anyone else going forward! DO NOT ever give in to their pressure again and sponsor them again. I hate people who publicly pressure in this way

It’s a friend doing something for charity..it’s not that deep. Just be kind to you friends when they’re kind to you

Does it matter though? The principle seems that people are happy to receive but not to give.

She said she had sponsored kids - they’re usually school things - like a sponsored silence, not a hike up Kilimanjaro

adult ms are a little different

I think many PP have missed an important point the OP has made. She made a reasonable assumption that by asking for (and receiving) sponsorship money that this was an accepted and legitimate way of charity fundraising within her social circle. Yet when she took the same approach it appeared to be one sided. It’s not about expecting ‘payback’ - but wondering why they feel it’s a good way for THEM to get support for good causes but doesn’t work the other way round.

As PPs have said I don’t want to give to ‘challenges’ where you are effectively finding a bucket list/holiday activity ie donations pay for flights etc (and making money for the company who arranges it too). But the OP has made it clear they have paid these and donations are going straight to the charity. So yes, I do think it strange that NONE of her social circle have chosen to donate ANYTHING using this method.

YABU not to continue donating via sponsorship if you think it’s a good method ie only giving if you get sponsorship in return.

YANBU to have expected this tried and tested method of fundraising to have raised donations from your social circle.

I'm sorry you're not able to continue as a researcher but an organisation with no government funding can't pay for any research at all without staff who generate income.

Fundraising doesn't happen in a vacuum.

Those salaries are not that much above minimum wage these days. I think its about £23k and I see a lot of community fundraising jobs starting at around £27k.

Still this. You either want some honest feedback on what your DH is doing OP, or you want approval.

If you won't say what he is doing then why even bother to start the thread or continue to post when you're very obviously withholding information that people will view unfavourably.

Hope you raise what you need - and ignore the negativity on this post Op it’s not a true reflection of most people many do have a moan but come good in the end good cause and charities rely on individuals who try and raise cash .. don’t turn into a transactional person give from the heart or the head if and when you can afford to

YABU. People are entitled to choose if, when and where they donate their money.

I don't sponsor adults unless it's a cause really close to my heart. I do contribute to school sponsorships though because they're usually to improve the educational experience they're getting.

I have nothing against as faults fundraising. I just have charities that I choose to donate to and I have reasons I donate to them.

no. I was one of the scientists supposedly funded by one of these charities.

my pay as a postdoctoral researcher was not much above minimum wage. Considerably less than the salaries you post, although admittedly a few years ago now. After 7 years at uni. The uk is losing all its scientists because the pay is shit, and contracts are only ever temporary, one or two years. You’re often expected to relocate for each new contract.

out of my peer group none of us are still working in research.

want to cure MND? Pay the scientists, not fundraisers and staff to organise these “challenges”.

You're saying that because you caved and supported them once, you're obliged to keep on doing it forever?

It's not a sponsorship request, it's - I've chosen to do this but it's going to cost 3K. Please can you help me raise the funds for whatever charity so I can do this without paying a penny please. Thank you.

So unbelievably pushy. He has already done this twice and it’s been tumbleweed,, you want him to go through the public humiliation for a third time?!

I’d send out another message plus pop a message and go fund me link on Facebook saying As many know, our friend Jack has been diagnosed with MND, this is a terrible disease which there is currently no cure for, research is not government funded and my DH Dave is sky diving to raise much needed funds to research better treatment or hopefully one day a cure… please give whatever you can afford as every £ counts, and if everyone donated even £5 we’d raise £cc’d….. I would then repost the link and write up each time someone donates thanking them!
Ask a family member to donate and thank them on social media….. it reminds people.. and once one person donates others tend to follow

Or they do it because they hear of the event, realise it fits with their skills and/or hobby, so decide it's an opportunity to use that to raise some money for the charity.

I wouldn't seek out charity events to participate in but, if I heard of one and knew I had something to give in my skill set, I might think about doing it to make a contribution.

An example is something I am good at. A charity wanted specific types of items for auction or sale. It cost me quite a bit to produce the item (no-one else contributed or was asked to), yes I got pats on the back because the item was pretty cool, if I do say so myself. I saw it as an opportunity to do something I enjoy and make a contribution. OK, so it wasn't asking for sponsorship, it was me donating, but I had fun doing it and didn't do it for the recognition.

Maybe if I couldn't have afforded to donate the item I could have asked people if they would mind chipping in a small amount towards materials, but all the work would be mine and the charity would have got the ultimate benefit. Does it matter if I got a bit of fun on the side making it?

I doubt I’d sponsor a grown ass Man unless it was a cause I valued. I give to the charities I value and I don’t base it on how hard the challenge is. If someone parachute jumps and is scared of heights well that’s just dumb don’t torture yourself. If you climb Everest I’m more ashamed for you than I pressed. I’d probably donate to a Sherpa charity instead.

Oh that is simply brutal. Have you thought the cause may well be something very personal to said adult.' Get over 'themselves indeed.

Oh dear one of life's lessons... not everyone sees things the same as you and you changing your ways won't change them.
It's hard I know particularly when it's important to you. Can you look down other avenues for a bit of sponsorship? Good luck.

Well from most of the replies I think there are a lot of mean spirited people on here.i had similar responses from my friends...or should I say no response. The money raised goes to charity not to pay for your DH to do the event I presume?
For the record you are not being unreasonable!

I think lots of us haven’t missed the point at all. We can, and many of us do, donate to charity. Sponsorship feels like being guilted, or embarrassed into giving money in addition to our own chosen charitable donations. I don’t like being psychologically strong armed into giving money.

Fundraisers may not, but the salaries taken b y charity executives are quite the eye opener

Hi OP. Don't forget this is AIBU where most posters are the type to take issue with a blank wall. Most people don't have any particular opinion either way, so they won't bother posting.

I think probably people will contribute nearer to the time. Don't overthink this. It's like parking tickets. People pay at the last minute.

Having said this, some men are annoying about things like long cycling rides and marathons etc. it gets worse with age, I find. I've had to raise this very issue with my own DH to be honest. When they are doing the next 1,000 mile bike ride, or climbing whatever mountain, they can be prone to talking about it in highly virtuous tones and this can be irritating, especially at dinner parties.

I know of a group of certain individuals who fly places on a private jet under the 'charity guise' of doing increasingly ridiculous and dangerous 'challenges.' My take in this is - well, just give the money to the charity yourselves! You hanging off a sheer cliff or cycling across Australia actually does nobody any favours. No. It's all about you and I can't be doing with it. Just call it what it is.

But hopefully your DH is not like this.