Friends not sponsoring dh

Perhaps your friends 'pay back' in other ways though. They might donate to another charity of their own choosing.
Or not. I don't give to any charity at the moment, and don't feel bad about it in the slightest. I 'pay back' through the tax system!

What's he doing

If it's a marathon, they are paying for their place. I'll give my money to charities i support, and directly, not to allow someone to virtue signal.

Who sponsors adults? If you want to support a charity just give them some bloody money. Why should other people basically give you money to live out your mid-life crisis on social media?

What a peculiar mentality.

They don’t pocket the money? You aren’t “paying” them.

If they enjoy themselves AND raise money for the local hospice, for instance, where is the downside?

I never give sponsorship to any adult.

I'm not subsidising someone to enable them to engage in heroics and (often) indulge in their favourite hobby!

If your husband wants to help out a charity, he could just donate a chunk from his salary one month. That's what I would do.

For 3 years I had a standing order set up for £20 a month to a local dogs home. No heroics needed.

It's bad enough sponsoring kids! I dislike the whole premise tbh. I'll cough up for kids because I don't want to disappoint them but adults should know better really. What's the point in reminding them more than once? They've had their chance to donate if interested.

I'm happy donating to charity, but not that way. Especially since many of the donations seem to go towards the minimum amount allowed, which is really just subsidising the activity in the first place. Especially with things like the marathon, where people miraculously only seem to want to run for charity if they don't get in via bidding, and then need to get their friends to pony up thousands of pounds so they can run a race 🙄

I hate sponsored things and I never sponsor anyone or ask for it. My kids school does a sponsored run every year. I don’t ask anyone they get £10 each from me and their dad and that’s it. I won’t even ask family. I wouldn’t sponsor any adult for a ‘challenge’ regardless of what it is

Sort of, but a chunk of it usually goes towards the running/sustainability of the event itself.

Some of all charity donations goes towards keeping the charity running, but a direct donation to the cause will see it get the most bang for your buck.

*I hate sponsored events. Even for my own children I can't bear to ask outside the immediate family for anyone to sponsor them for something trivial.
I will support friends occasionally if it's a worthy cause and has personal relevance (e.g. friend raising money for the hospice that looked after her Dad before he died) *

This is me, too. When school ask for "sponsorship" i just pay a decent amount myself.

I take your point that you always give generously and you'd expect some reciprocal support but it also kind of depends what it is and what it's for. I don't agree with some charities (not many mainstream ones but some), and activities.

If it's something they're doing anyway. My friend did a cycling holiday they'd always wanted to do and tried to make it a charitable thing. It's complicated to explain why exactly as yes, the money was going to a good cause and it was hard work, but it is a bit irritating when it's something that's benefitting the individual so much in the first place. Not quite charitable in it's spirit.

Maybe he's worded the request badly? Can you get a close friend to read it through objective eyes?

If it's something like jumping out of an aeroplane, walking the wall of China or climbing Snowdon, then I wouldn't sponsor him either.
I'd sponsor him if he was going to play the piano for 3 days non stop or something like that.

I did a cross Channel swim a few years back as part of a relay team. It costs thousands to pay for the pilot boat and support crew. We didn’t ask for sponsorship because it was a bucket list thing for us. Plus the very high chance we wouldn’t complete it which would be embarrassing if we’d asked people for sponsorship. (Although we did manage it 😁)

It really depends what it is. We don’t contribute to someone skydiving for a charity, where the first £2,000 raised goes to the skydiving company (made up example) and it’s basically just funding someone who wants to do a skydive. We are also careful about the charities involved and will check their financials, some are just money making fronts with huge dividends/admin and marketing costs and very little reaching the ones who need it. There are a couple of them local to us that are just clever moneymaking scams.

Much better to choose a genuine charity and give of your time/money whatever you can.

I will sponsor someone close to me if it is a charity I support. I will always sponsor children, that is very different imo to sponsoring an adult to walk up kilimajaro.

Is it London Marathon?

Is it the first time he has done this sort of challenge? People often sponsor just before the event or just after so if they haven't yet, it doesn't mean they won't.

I hate sponsored events. Even for my own children I can't bear to ask outside the immediate family for anyone to sponsor them for something trivial.
I will support friends occasionally if it's a worthy cause and has personal relevance (e.g. friend raising money for the hospice that looked after her Dad before he died) but even this I draw a line at if they do the same event annually (again as they enjoy the event so it's not a challenge).

Asking for sponsorship is something I stopped doing once I left school. Since then I have mostly only given sponsorship money for children. I've occasionally sponsored an adult if the cause is something I care about. But I won't just do it on demand. It's like demanding money with menaces - people should choose which charities they give to, not feel obliged because someone is a friend. I'd be embarrassed to even ask on my own behalf.

I hate it when people pressure others to sponsor them/ others. It’s ok to ask once, but to continually ask when you didn’t get a response the first time is just rude. If they wanted to sponsor your DH then they would have done so by now. And how do you know they are well off? They could have money issues you don’t know anything about. It reminds me of when my in-laws came to stay. My mil who is my DH’s stepmum mentioned that one of her nephews which neither of us had ever met, was doing something in Africa. We’d just moved house and I’d had a baby a few months earlier and was on maternity leave pretty much living off savings. We didn’t want to sponsor him because a) we’d never met him and b) money was tight. So we didn’t say yes the first time she asked. But she went on and on about it the whole time they were with us and we ended up paying even though we didn’t want to.

I don't like sponsoring adults. Kids fine. But expecting folk to give £10 or£20 is a bot entitled. I'd rather choose my own charity.,

I'm bloody sick of requests for sponsoring stuff, at work, family, friends on FB...I just don't do it anymore

The sponsorship money goes to a charity - not to the person’s current account

And a massive chunk of that goes to paying the challenge costs. Eg for london marathon, for older charities who have golden bond places it might only be £100 a place but some newer charities are charged nearly £2k a runner.

Depends on what it is. Most of adult things I've been asked for sponsorship for basically pays for the adult to climb a mountain or something with the balance going to a charity. The minimum the participants need to raise is more than the cost of them doing the thing.

So no, I'm not paying for someone to go on a bucket list trip with a small amount going to charity.