Friends not sponsoring dh

YABVVVVVU

That's a lovely thing for your DH to do - I hope it goes well. Hard as it is, try not to take it personally. Different people will make different choices about supporting charities and sponsoring people. Everyone's entitled to their own approach, as it's voluntary. MND has been in the media a bit more recently, so maybe your DH could look at building on that momentum by approaching places like local rugby clubs and seeing if they'd like to sponsor him.

I sponsor plenty of adults, it’s not that weird. I have over 100 people in my team so if they send a link, I sponsor them (out of obligation). That said when I raised money relating to a health issue I have, I was so touched to raise over £1000 from generous friends and family. So yes, even if it’s people’s kids, they should repay the sponsorship.

I think that if you had have said what it was for in your OP, the vote would've been better. Unfortunately there are so many around that want to raise money for their kid to go abroad and 'help build wells' and such, and we know that it's just an excuse for a piss up and a free holiday. You didn't say in your OP what it was for (hence I think the huge 'yabu' vote) you said later but as we know, a majority of people only read the OP and no further - so I'm wondering if your friends/acquaintances just think it's another grifter-type thing.

Did you tell them what it's for?

Three colleagues currently rowing the Atlantic, 'for charity'. They need 290k before anything goes to charity. It's
A no from me.

Just to add when I ran for charity, I was a new runner; raised money for a local charity (got sponsored by people I didn't really know) and did a car boot sale (my stuff and friends). It was a few years ago though and I think people generally had more money then.

Also being on SM helps (I'm not now but was at the time) as it reminds people, I think a text/email can feel like you are "demanding" not asking (this isn't the case for you).

You don't give to receive

For me it would depend what's he's doing and for what cause. I've run multiple half marathons myself so wouldn't ask for sponsorship anymore (some of them are for charity but I just donate a wedge myself now if it's a race I want to run). Wouldn't stop me sponsoring a friend running their first one for a cause that's important to them or me though. A friend who is very much not a runner if doing a marathon for a dementia charity this year as his Mum was recently diagnosed, happy to put £20 his way.

Some of my friends have done amazing challenges that I wouldn't put myself through in a million years, always happy to sponsor them if they're doing it for charity.

YANBU to stop sponsoring their kids in return though!

Of course YABU. If I sponsored every random adult charity event it would bloody thousands!

Tight? Yeah, right. Give quite a lot to charity. There was a charity that helped me when I had cancer. So I did a couple of extra shifts, and gave them what I earned. Way more than I'd have got by sponsorship, and not asking other people to pay for me to have fun.

My dc did a sponsored event when he was 17. Lots of people said they’d sponsored him, few actually did.

i would only sponsor the person if I believed in the cause, and/or knew the person.

You say it’s a huge challenge - what is it? Running London marathon? Climbing Mount Everest?

I think sponsoring a child is very different to an adult.

Actually, this might be part of it. Why isn't he asking himself?

Sponsorship is such a minefield. I do donate sometimes if I like the person / support the cause but I don’t tend to feel obliged. I also won’t if some of the money is going towards paying for the person to do the event (with very occasional exceptions).

I’ve done one sponsored event so far in my life - a self funded marathon to raise money for a charity that directly helped a family member who died as a child. Planning another event soon, which will be a tough outdoor challenge but admittedly something that I want to do. Again, I will completely self fund (all money raised to the charity) and will be raising money for a cancer charity / hospice following the recent death of my much loved sibling to a pretty sudden and aggressive cancer in their 30s.
Even though I feel that it a pretty ‘worthy’ thing, I still think I’ll feel slightly odd asking for sponsorship and definitely won’t push it on anyone.

A family member recently did a charity event. Paid the sponsorship money themselves rather than badgering people. Said didn’t want to ask friends. The charity said they were perfectly happy for participants to pay the sponsorship themselves. Really enjoyed it. In your position op, I’d send out a reminder to people you’ve previously sponsored nearer the time and if nobody sponsors him, then don’t sponsor them next time.

You do sound incredibly tight

Yeah, so what?

It works for me. Nothing wrong with being tight. How much money I give (or don't give) is my business. I do not need to be 'doing more.' I've done plenty in the past, (and given plenty) and I am not a mug anymore. Anyone begging money from me can jog on.

(You sound entitled and grabby by the way. Expecting people to give give give because in YOUR opinion, everyone should 'do more.') 🙄

I don't know why you're getting so wound up about it.

It's his challenge. He can find his own sponsors.

It's not up to you to get involved.

Quite honestly these are usually vanity projects for middle class people who want to do something and they disguise it as charity. Like a senior consultant with high salary taking the challenge of cycling to Paris or climbing a mountain. It is going to charity but I'd just rather donate directly and these people can run 42k their own dime and time.

That being said. If I had asked someone to donate then I'd donate back to those people.

Like deaths from Covid, MND is something that affects either a number of people you know or nobody, few people seem to only know one.
Those we've known who died from it had all been exceptionally fit at some point in their lives, so sponsorship may be more forthcoming from those involved with football or rugby clubs.
Good luck.

Even McD has the bloody round up thing! I'm with you. It's everywhere.

Yeh you do sound incredibly tight.

Theres nothing wrong with being asked to give money to charity- no doubt we all could/ should be doing more.

Honestly I can’t be arsed with grown adults doing sponsored anything. They can donate money themselves if it’s important to them. But that doesn’t give them anything to show off about on SM.

YABU

If you want to sponsor other people or people's children do fundraising activities, feel free to do so. Or not. Your money, your choice.

And other people get to make that choice for themselves as well.

Personally, I think many adults who ask for money to climb a mountain/cycle around the country/ swim the channel/ etc are just wanting others to fund their personal jollies. And families that are better off than me wanting money for their children to participate in elite sports/dance/theatre shouldn't be asking others to fund those activities, which I also see frequently. Galling.