Friends not sponsoring dh

I don’t think all fundraising is grabby, I have friends whose children have a very rare disease and they do a lot of fundraising but they do things like run a tombola stall at the village fete, do a cake sale or a raffle, ask the school to wear a specific colour on the rare diseases awareness day and get everybody to pay £1 etc. They don’t pick something off their bucket list and then get people to pay them to do it which is where my issue lies. In that case I’d rather just give the charity £10 directly without a % of my money having to go to cover the fees of the marathon/ skydive/ whatever. Incidentally I’m also always happy to donate to a justgiving page or directly to a charity of its shared by parents whose I’ll or disabled children are benefiting directly from it, if you just share the charity donation page to friends/ family with an endorsement about how helpful it’s been for your children on your social media I bet you will get more donations than engineering a sponsored event for the same outcome.

Running a marathon/swimming the channel/climbing a mountain has no value beyond a personal sense of satisfaction.

The OP's bloke could do a sponsored litter pick, reading with children in schools every day for 100 days, or something else that is fundamentally useful whilst raising money rather than just fannying about (although that can only be speculation as the OP isn't telling us what he's doing).

I don’t sponsor those absurd foreign jolly things where a load of the money goes on the experience, I mean necessary travel.

I especially hate when people want sponsoring for doing Dry January. WTAF? Sponsor me to not smoke crack. I’ll ace it

It depends what you do. If you are just saying "Please give us money which will will give in its entirety to the Centre", then nobody should have an issue with that, and in all honesty, you shouldn't have to offer to do any "activity". If you are saying "We're going to climb Kilimanjaro and we need £1500 to cover the trip and will give the rest to the centre", it's bad form.

I think the poster means why should they sponsor Joe Bloggs to cycle from Lands End to The Tower of London when it means he has two weeks off work and is cycling (his hobby that he does every weekend) with his best mates. He’s doing it because he wants to! To be away from the kids, off work and gets the adulation that he’s raising money for such and such charity.

They are on commission anyway. The next week they will be there asking you for money for a different charity.

If I want to give to a charity I give to them directly.

i had a friend fundraising for her own cancer treatment and some familY experiences as it became terminal. Not a problem -have whatever I have.

another friend keeps texting to sponsor her hobby to raise funds for her club. No thank you.

stop asking other people for their money - it’s rude and entitled.

I can't believe you give £10 - £20 for a sponsored silence! I'd only give a child a pound or two, for something like that. Pushing teddies around the playground would never have got us a tenner when I was a kid 🤣

Bound to be one of the above hey?

It depends. My DD participates in all sorts of walks, fundraisers, etc regularly, so I can understand why people won’t donate repeatedly.

On the other hand, I personally have been very put off about fundraisers like GFM ever since I donated to someone very close, who then had leftover money and went on a shopping spree lol. I’m sorry but no.

Thinking about it, the last adult I sponsored didn’t actually ask for sponsorship. He told us about the challenge, his training and the cause, and left it at that. More general conversation than begging. Partly because of this, and because I was impressed with the feat, and he’s a decent fellow (work colleague) I donated.

😂

So it's a 'holiday of a lifetime.... walking the amazon/great wall china/pyramids
Or sports junkie.

Plane jump, parachute, swim in a dam.type thing?,.

While I don’t think anyone should feel obliged to sponsor someone, in this case YANBU because having asked you to sponsor their kids, it’s rude not to reciprocate.

I don’t mind people doing stuff as long as the sponsorship requests aren’t intrusive or persistent, so no one is out in an awkward position if they don’t donate.

I have only done one sponsored event in my life, to raise money for the hospice which cared for someone close to me who died in her 20s. I paid for the event myself. I have no quarrel with anyone who didn’t want to sponsor, but I’m pretty horrified at how many people on this thread think I was doing it to use someone’s tragic death to scam people out of money to pay for my “bucket list”. I paid for it myself and did it with only good intentions.

You're conflating the cause with the activity.

If he could raise £1000 for MND and make the park cleaner at no cost, then why wouldn't anyone give?
If he wanted to cycle to Paris and raised £1000, and £750 went to his expenses leaving £250 for the charity, with no net benefit to anyone except him from the activity, why would anyone give?

It gets very tiring saying no and trying to avoid them. Am fed up being approached with "you look friendly" and all the other bullshit phrases they use.
It is like running a gauntlet sometimes.

I hate most of these sponsored things and avoid them like the plague. My FB feed seems to be awash with friends / acquaintances asking me to give them £££ for walking / wing walking / sky diving / whatever and I find it quite intrusive l

Oh god, can someone explain this to me and I didn’t realise adults fundraising looked grabby or hobby funding?!

My children have recently been receiving a lot of help from a charity for children with neurological problems and me and my husband were wanting to fundraise to give back to them. It’s not a big charity it’s a small local center. We haven’t done anything like that before.

Is it bad form to do that? My kids can’t do it themselves so it would be us as adults who had to fundraise.

This!

If your DH wants to give money to a charity of his choice he can use his money, I don’t need to give him mine! In almost all situations when adults want sponsorship it’s to do something they frame as a ‘challenge’ but is really related to a hobby, looks good on their social media or is something on their bucket list - a marathon, climbing a mountain, a sky dive, a triathalon etc - and the money people donate always goes towards all their fees. The people doing the ‘challenge’ don’t spend a penny themselves. If someone’s doing something genuinely challenging and not for their own enjoyment/ bucket list/ social media I might consider donating but I’m yet to see it happen.

Re what @XenoBitch said, I get it coming out of Morrisons and Sainsburys too. 50% of the time I come out of the doors with my shopping, there is a fecking chugger at the door, begging for their charity! They are often there for a week to 10 days, and they stop me every single time I try to leave the bloody shop. How many times do I have to say NO! Feck off! As I said, I already give to a number of charities of MY CHOICE. Stop bugging me!

Oh well. That's a shame.
A neighbour I've never met asked for a sponsorship the other day. I declined. I wouldn't dwell on it to be honest else you'll have no friends left.

I would absolutely give money to a cause like this, but only if ALL the money raised is going to charity. Is he paying the entry fee if it's a marathon, the flights & guides etc if it's a mountain climb? Because otherwise it's an adult asking people to cover the cost of the thing before any money actually goes to charity. That would be a no from me.