Friends not sponsoring dh

Are you saying that if a friend asked you to sponsor them for, for example, running the London Marathon, that you'd drop them?
Have you honestly never had a single friend who's done a sponsored event and has asked you for sponsorship? Honestly?
And the charity events that you've done. You just donated all the money yourself?

I wonder how the people in all aspects of my life are so different. I've done half marathons / walks and raised a significant amount through sponsorship. Friends / acquaintances from school / university / work / DH's work / neighbours have asked for sponsorship over the years. It's a perfectly normal and socially acceptable thing to do. Donate or don't donate. That's personal choice. But claiming you'd drop a friend for deigning to ask for sponsorship? Now that is weird.

Jumping in here a bit late, but op people might feel like I do. There's a local charity who were set up for a specific purpose. But everything they do on socials, website etc is about raising money. They seem to do lots of "fun" or "challenging" things. But here is the rub, looking at their accounts, 2 years ago they raised £30k. But spent £28.5k doing it.

There seems to be no expenditure on the actual activities/core reason for the charity. There are no details how to attend "workshops" /events for possible users of the service and just a few anecdotal quotes....

in other words people are sceptical....it's one thing sponsoring a 6 year old for a sponsored silence, another to sponsor a grown man doing something he enjoys....

Op donated to kid and adult sponsored activities. So, leaving aside the kid ones are you saying that the adults she supported are happy to fundraise and accept donations but don’t believe in donating to adult sponsored activities?

I don’t believe Op is acting transactionally but it is reasonable to expect that some might support her Dh.

People should expect to say ‘you’re welcome’ sometimes and not just ‘thank you’.

Let's hope they never find themselves in a situation where they might might benefit from the work or support of a charity.

You chose to make those donations... hopefully because you believed in their causes and not as a transactional friendship. Many people just don't believe in donating to adult charities.

I would 100% drop you as a friend. There is no need to keep entitled people in my life. I ONLY donate to animal charities. My husband only donated to animal, child, and veteran charities. We are comfortable financially and we've had friends who have done similar things as your husband and they've never been tacky enough to ask us for sponsorships. And we've done races for charities and not once did we ask others for sponsorships. Hoping you really pay attention to a lot of these comments and see how ridiculous your requests are. (Also... never assume people's financial status, you never really know unless you're their accountant.)

It's really not how charities work.

There would be way too many safeguarding risks for most charities in what you are talking about.

You can't just bring in strangers to work with vulnerable people, even if they're fundraising.

I’d be much more likely to sponsor someone who, for example, wants sponsorship for oap garden clearance, house painting, taking underprivileged kids out for day or such like…something that in itself is benefitting people. Not just someone running round in circles or the like…..what a useless time waster. Obviously kids at school who just want a few pennies is fine, but adults doing useless sports etc….sorry, no.

That's poor management by the charity in question.

The issue is that sponsorship is a much more effective way of raising funds for the charity. Which is what charities are obviously all about as they can't provide services otherwise.

You might think that doing the Three Peaks is a waste of time but the reality is that the sponsorship brings in way way way more money than car washing, selling crafts or cake stalls or anything you might consider productive.

And contrary to what's been expressed here, in the real world a lot of people are happy to sponsor friends and family.

I know this because I spend a lot of the day looking at online fundraising platforms.

It's not irrelevant. It matters a great deal what he is doing.

There are people who use charity sponsorship to pay for an expensive adventure activity, so they can do it for free.

In some cases, including the one I detailed in a previous post. The woman was asking people to sponsor her to do a bungee jump. What she didn't make clear, was that the cost of the bungee jump was coming out of donations. Apparently it is not illegal to do this, although some charities refuse to participate if the activity is funded by donations.

The amount of sponsorship money she raised only covered slightly more than the cost of the jump. So, she got a free bungee jump, photos of her "glorious" achievement and recognition for "raising money for charity". The charity got almost nothing.

Providing a service might be more productive than cycling 100mile. How washing cars for a donation instead - at least you're doing something more productive than ticking off your bucket list.

It doesn't feel like it is the charity that matters here - it's the reciprocal support from friends that matters to the op. The tit for tat of I gave to your child's efforts now you should give to my dh's efforts - the charity and the nature of the event are secondary. This is all about someone's feelings being hurt.

Why does it matter what he’s doing? The activity is almost irrelevant - it’s the charity and the donations that matter.
when my daughter was 7 she did a 22 mile swim for a charity (over a few weeks) it wasn’t really what she was doing that mattered, it was about the charity and the fact her friend had been diagnosed with something… she could just have easily done a sponsored read or sponsored walk… the charity was what mattered

It’s not pushy at all.. people are free to scroll by! But majority of people think they’ll do it later and then forget, it’s just an occasional reminder when he thabks someone.
When did people get so bloody miserable?! No one is being forced to read his posts!!

I understand the point that you're trying to make but that's just not how life works.

Who would organise a group of presumably unskilled volunteers to fix a hospital roof? Who would insure that sort of activity?

In the charity I work for we have wonderful volunteers who help with support groups.

That's not everyone's cup of tea or they be might working full time so they support the charity by raising funds and awareness. In lycra or otherwise.

@CountryShepherd But the money raised through sponsorship could still go to cancer research.

But instead of paying a fee to enter the London marathon or do a skydive, and all the effort and training for that, why not also do something actually useful, and get sponsored for it! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Or 'try your hand at cancer research'.

😅

Why is it never a sponsored 'paint the school hall' or 'fix the hospital roof'.

Wouldn't that be a better use of time and money than running round a course or abseiling off a church?

That's them prompting you. Your donation to them isn't prompting anything.

But it's ok. If you think it doesn't matter that you can't logically or coherently justify your behaviour if you stop and think about it, that's your prerogative. Many, many people would share that view with you.

Well - I said i was happy to support a friend in this way so it really doesn't matter does it? But - maybe it's a new charity i didn't know about and their efforts made me realise what they. Maybe it's one that I do know and support but had slipped from my mind. Etc etc. It's really not that deep.

How is you giving via the person being sponsored rather than directly "a prompt to get people to think about a charity's work"?

From my point of view - it's a prompt to get people to think about a charity's work. I'm happy to support a friend's efforts in this way. I think it's a good thing? But that's just me (evidently.)

Oh that's fine. If there's a link I'll say I'll click on the link and donate if I think appropriate. I won't give to them. What's the point, if there's a link?