Friends not sponsoring dh

I’m not a fan of sponsorship to raise money for charity. What’s his end goal, to raise money for a charity or personal growth through the challenge?
if it’s for personal growth, then I don’t think it matters that your haven’t sponsored him. Friends shouldn’t be funding hobbies. If it’s for the charity, I think quiz nights, bake sales etc would be a better way to raise the money.

I think that if you have sponsored friends, then you should replicate the favour when asked. That’s just fair. Personally would t sponsor anyone, but then I wouldnt ask to be sponsored. I would think twice about sponsoring your friends herein, sadly.

Has it been made very clear to everyone you’ve asked donations from that he is funding his own place, and every penny raised will go directly to the charity? Plus gift aid?

Because the idea of my donation being used to pay for the ‘challenge’ itself (as is often the case) really puts me off sponsoring these sorts of things.

Oh dear, what a pile on. The way I read your post, you are upset that you have sponsored your friends for their things, and they're not reciprocating. I don't see what's so wrong about being disappointed in that? That's the whole point of sponsorship. We don't give because it's a course that we particularly care about, we give because our friend is asking us to. You have given in the past to friends, and those same people now aren't sponsoring your husband. But at the same time times are tight and this whole model is fraying at the seams a bit. In future, unless it's a cause you particularly care for, you can do the same and not worry about giving sponsorship when a friend does a challenge.

YABVVU in your judgement of others.

You know what genuinely charitable people do? They give directly to the charities of their choice, according to their budget, whenever they can, as a routine part of ethics meets financial planning. They don't deprive those charities of their full contribution by sending it via their mates instead, where most of any contribution is lost paying for a vanity event.

I also wouldn't sponsor in this instance because I'm creeped out by the dysfunctional wife work of you doing DH's fundraising for him.

Not RTFT but could it be because they don't want to sponsor per mile/? In these situations I just bung in a set amount so I don't get caught out for more than I want to donate.

Yeah, no I would ignore a sponsored thing, really tacky to contact people. Is it a 'middle class' thing because here in the 'poorer classes' we are taught from a very young age not to beg.

I honestly can say I have NEVER received a sponsors my kid things and only a couple from narcissistic adults with brass fucking balls so I can't relate to this at all.

Fund raisers do happen, its usually things like the school hosting something like fancy dress, party, film event, raffle and lots of charity days (where people hire a venue, get bands, merchandise etc... usually in memory of someone, with all money going to charity linked to the cause of death like cancer, lung, stillbirth etc...) but no we never get the 'sponsor me to go on a walk, run a marathon, climb mount everest, do a skydive etc...' pay for your own hobby.

I hate that utterly bizarre thing in recent times where suddenly before someones birthday you start getting Facebook notices of that awful 'for my birthday instead of presents I request donations to...'. Eh? what... since when have facebook friends EVER been expected to buy you gifts? Sandra the polite but uptight receptionist that is 20 years older than you from your first job 15 years ago who you haven't even seen in 10 years is not gifting you donations (which is lets face it what Facebook is majoritively for, people you once knew who are now 'Facebook acquaintances'). Needless to say virtually no one ever donates and after weeks they will have raised like £5 in 1 donation from the creepy nice guy that fancy's them lol. Its incredibly cringey.

She's reacting to the thoroughly nasty comments she's getting. Presumably she should be tugging at her forelock and leaving her DH for being so selfish and grasping as to use his friend's condition for his own aggrandisement.

Honestly, what's the matter with you people? Why are you so full of vitriol and misery? I thought Tattle was supposed to be the nasty place, but this thread is eye poppingly awful.

OP I always bung £20 to someone doing, say, a marathon, for a worthy cause. In fact I did it for a colleague last week.

I'm a 'runner' but could never run a marathon, and admire anyone else who has the commitment - and in the name of charity.

I don't support fundraisers which sponsor 18 year olds to go on gap years to count turtles or help build schools, but that's entirely different.

I'm sorry you are getting a hard time on here.

You’re not really happy to take it on the chin though, are you? Nasty snippy responses to other posters who must be jealous because they have lardy fat DP’s who sit on the couch all day and don’t rock Lycra like your DH…

If a cure is ever to be found for something like MND, then attention seeking is exactly what is needed. Of course, people with life changing or limiting conditions need personal support but that's not going to fund research.

Random strangers with no connection are not going to wake up one day and think 'this is the day I'm going to donate to MND', for example.

They do it, if they want to, because they are prompted by seeing a friend or colleague's fundraising page. And that raises far more money than one person silently donating. Of course, many do that anyway and it's also hugely appreciated.

And the vast majority of people who take on challenges for the charity I work for have already lost someone or have a relative who is dying. Sometimes it's a person who is terminally ill themselves.

It's too late for them and their family but they find it a comfort to fundraise for those coming afterwards. It's something they can do to have a tiny bit of control in a situation where they have no other control.

If I'm honest, I have met one or two egotists over the years but generally I do not recognise the performative show offs roundly criticised here.

Fundraising is one of the least cynical sectors I've ever worked in.

I don’t sponsor adults nor do I ask for sponsorship
With the DC we just made a donation
I sometimes sponsor kids ,but not teenagers doing this ridiculous World Challenge things

I was surprised too when I first saw it all on here but know how your post would go OP.

I particularly enjoyed the one about how all your friends would be silently rolling their eyes because you’re ‘that’ person - imagine being ‘that person’ who thinks like that.

Most likely people haven’t got round to it or have forgotten about it, I wouldn’t follow it up just post about it on socials when it’s done, you’ll usually get a few more then.

I wouldn’t let it stop you donating to others in the future because you’re that kind of person. Don’t stop because not everyone is.

That seems a shame, especially as you have sponsored them/their kids.

Maybe they will do it last minute?

The only time I really won't donate or sponsor is when the person is using the money towards their travel costs. For example someone was asking on FB for sponsorship for a trip abroad to work for a charity, I think in that situation they can pay for their own air fare etc.

This is exactly why I stopped sponsoring anyone doing anything - did so for years for friends, family and children, even people at work. Then i did something and really struggled to pull in the minimum amount.

This thread jus peak mumsnet.

OP in the real world most people I know donate to charities that friends are supporting.

My DH recently did a darts day for Macmillan, I did a fundraiser for the foodbank last summer, we donated to my daughters friends GoFundMe for a funeral, we give to people on the street, we donate to friends when they run marathons, climb mountains whatever.

And that’s before all the little jonnys and Jenny’s doing their bake sales or walks round the garden or (the worst of the worst on MN) show horror friends teenagers going to Africa.

It’s just what we do and what the people around us do. Only on here do I see such vitriol and disdain for both charity and people who give to charity.

We don’t care if the homeless guy buys booze, the Africa trip is pointless poverty tourism, the mate was going to cycle to lands end for a hobby anyway, or whatever. We just chuck the £20 in and do it with a smile and best wishes.

This thread is surely a total non-event. As OP has a healthy sponsorship budget, all she needs to do is reallocate it to her DH. Next time Henry’s mum asks about the hop-o-thon say bluntly ‘my charity budget has been absolutely spanked this year by DH’s charity run around Hono Lulu, wishing Henry the best for his hopping challenge’.

For me the worst is being asked to ‘sponsor’ your child to do charity work in Uganda or alike. I’m not paying for your child’s holiday.

Well that would be a BIG no from me. I'd rather they donated the £290k to charity directly.

Oh, I missed this gem.
I would probably be more likely to sponsor 'a lardy couch potato' who is going to find the event hard than someone who is already fit.

It's unpleasant, isn't it? I always had the feeling this is how these things went - this list of public donators - how was the OP assessing their generosity? Their salary, their house size or their closeness with the MND person. Was £100 the expected donation to be seen as generous? This is why, if I'm going to donate I'll do it anonymously, I hate this grubbiness around charity donations - horrible behaviour.

Also skydives are the Worst:
the private company makes money out of you
They get to keep up their flying hours
and in doing so pollute the skies with noise and fossil fuel burning

wake up people!