Friends not sponsoring dh

I think there are two pots here, those who don’t give and those who do. I’m assuming your husband is doing the marathon, a very worthy cause, and very hard. It takes months and months to train for a marathon. For those who say they think it’s self absorbed to do a marathon I going to make the assumption they’ve never done one. More likely they are the type of people who happily ask for sponsorship to stop drinking for a day or give up chocolate for a week. Also last to bar and never help out anyone but themselves.

In future I wouldn’t sponsor them for anything and leave it at that.

good luck to your husband, hope it all goes well.

foot soldiers Vs CEO salary is redundant-sadly applies in most large organisations and equally unfair. I'm sure some cbarity senior execs have turned their backs on higher salaries - but way too many claim that in theory they could do better without having ever put it to the test. See also the plethora of life coaches and advisors advertising their skills for hire on social media. As the sayig goes (cruelly) : 'failed in New York gone to Dubai'..

Yes, most people organise events, often including cake sales - which will, no doubt, be approved of by some earlier posters here 😀

Fun for them. Good for the charities but pestering friends is really not on. I would sponsor a friend WITH cancer or some life limiting illness ofc and children.

Otherwise I just find it intensely annoying as I have my own charities to support and focus on. Most people do. I have never liked people inflicting their choices on me, and then pressurising. I would probably pull back from the friendship as I don’t like pushy people full stop.

A bucket list for many runners, I meant, not the population in general. (I don't run so couldn't think of anything worse.)

Applications this year beat all previous records - over 840,000. Success rate in the general ballot is about 2%.

A bucket list for most???

I think not.

And this so called coveted place is just nauseating. You are running that’s it, not negotiating world peace.

The fundraising is harder than the training.

I've had charity places offered to me but I declined because I would find raising that amount far too stressful. You can't rely on friends and family just donating to your just giving to get the total needed unless you are rich. Most people will need to organise some kind of event to raise anywhere close to the total.

It's really hard, and unless you have a close personal connection to the charity you won't have the motivation to do it.

A charity marathon place is not the doddle you suspect, despite your quick Google.

Our charity offers a limited number of places with strictly enforced terms and conditions with a minimum fundraising target agreed (it's very high!) Most of our runners raise way in excess of this in any case - they are hugely committed. We have had individual runners raise over £25k in the past.

It is not easy to get a charity place either - we only accept 1 in 12 applications. We look for a strong personal connection to our charity (a tenuous link won't get you anywhere) and a history of successful large scale fundraising - as we know that this improves commitment and leads to success.

We support our runners with their fundraising throughout but monitor their progress closely and if it is not going to target, we withdraw the place. Ultimately the place for the charity and not the individual runners benefit.

It is a cool thing to do and a bucket list thing for most but it requires huge amounts of commitment to both the training and the fundraising.

A quick google reveals that charities pay £300 to secure a number in the London Marathon and anyone who has ever tried to secure a number themselves know how hard it is to get a number - I think this sits firmly in the "doing something cool and the money raised partially pays for them to do it". In my experience poeple suddenly find a tenuous link to the charity - a long-lost relative who has mild asthma and they just have to support that charity cause they feel so much for their relative that they just have to give back! Yeah right! It's a bucket list thing and everyone knows that.

I always give to friends sponsorship but if I’m honest I’m happier to give to the “effort” ones - like long distance walks, marathons etc and less to the “fun experience ones” like sky diving when it’s really about them doing something cool and the money partially pays for them to do it and doesn’t all go to charity.

Of course there are. I don't work for a cancer charity, by the way.

I just feel that the belief that its only worth supporting tiny charities with no paid staff and apparently no overheads, is misguided.

And people do support other charities, I certainly do!

But finding a cure for cancer isn't and shouldn't be the only charitable activity. There are heaps of other good causes

Not even just a cure, but advanced diagnostic tools/tech and treatment.

Funding requirements for research is huge and beyond government spending. Increased government funding would probably mean cuts in other areas/social services unless we want to pay more taxes.

I am constantly amazed at the advances and progress made in dealing with cancer and will continue to support research. Paying in small monthly amounts and doing the odd sponsored event (very unglamorous and paying my own entry fee) I hope I’m helping in some way.

Actually, I do think there are too many charities in some sectors.

But the one I work for is a leader in our specific area. I would like to see the various volunteer fundraisers combine - the money would have much more impact.

Re salaries - the foot soldiers on modest salaries way outnumber the CEO's as you might expect

How can you run large effective organisations without employing good leaders? I know of one CEO who took a very large pay cut to move from the private to the public sector. I expect there are others.

But how do we find a cure for cancer following that model? Not everything can be done at village level. And not every function of a charity can be performed by volunteers.

Indeed, and I already do .. Loving Humanity for one ( Period supplies for girls in Africa, India etc))

If you care about that it is worth looking at small local charities.

I donate to a local almshouse charity. They have one administrator, only a tiny fraction of their money goes to that salary. All the rest is used to support the beneficiaries and maintain the buildings. It's almost entirely volunteer run (although of course they employ tradespeople to do any maintenance work etc, but many do it at a discount)

more, how many levels of admin and bureaucracy before the cause gets a penny

They may start at that but a little research shows there are (IMO) far too many similar charities extant with very high pay to the top level, when many could combine and bring the salary take down. There are always the 'I could earn more in another job' claims but few to vanishing with any history to back that up. Charity world needs a toothy regulator and a big shakeup

I totally get why you'd be annoyed that your friends haven't supported your Husband after you've sponsored their children. Children's sponsored events are usually to raise funds for the School or other local things & aren't that hard for a child to participate in so it's upsetting when your Husband has paid to enter something & has asked for donations to support a big charity for a friend & support hasn't been reciprocated. Start a group chat with those not replying saying you've started the group so they can all sponsor Hubby & can add details of their future sponsored events so 'we can all support each other, like we have done in the past for kids events'. Then when they post anything about little Jonny doing a bean bag throw to raise funds for the Summer Fair at School ignore it & don't contribute.

I don't sponsor anyone except kids things for school.

It depends on the cause. If children are walking to raise money for the local school, I'm usually good. If your husband is running for a charity I'd rather not support, well...

I sympathize, having been there myself. I just learned to say no, I'm sorry, maybe next time, or, I gave at the office. But it still comes down to the cause.

Indeed and i love the work Blind Dave Heely (his name for himself) does. But he actually raises money. There is a brilliant comedian called John Finnemore who had a sketch show on radio 4, one sketch was him.asking to be sponsored to go on holiday "it's for the cats". These people have a great life and they may fund it themselves...but they spend a huge amount on fund raising...

I know of a CEO of a large financial organisation who claimed Kilimanjaro...and flew back on a private jet....just think a minute.

Based on what you've said - that's not a charity I would donate to either.

For every pound spent on fundraising, the charity I work for raises nearly £8. That's a proper return on investment.

The issue is not that people do something they enjoy to raise money. There's no reason it should be intrinsically unpleasant, even if its challenging.

But it should be effective.