Due to give birth tomorrow and dp has said ...

Oh and run a credit check to see the extent of the problem.

OP, what a nightmare. You sound like you have been more than tolerant.
You need to concentrate on giving birth and bonding with your baby now. Be aware that a lot of the anxiety you are feeling will be the natural anxiety around the birth. I hope it has all gone well.
You will get through this. Please speak to your midwife, health visitor and GP about your predicament. Explain that there is no money for essentials. No one is going to let a new mother and baby go hungry. They will refer you to a food bank where you can get nappies for the baby, wipes, toiletries etc. Please use this. It’s exactly what it is for. Ask for help in applying for all benefits-child benefit, universal credit etc - you are entitled to. Your local authority may have discretionary grants you can apply for.
DO NOT give any more money to your husband. He is not to be trusted. I run a business and I know his business is going to go bust. And soon. You will be throwing good money after bad. Remind him it is illegal to trade if the business is not solvent. He will have creditors. Do everything you can to separate yourself from debts he will have. Give him nothing. If your parents help you financially make sure any money goes into an account only you can access.
Pay essential bills only. Use any money for you and your children. He is able to provide for himself and should be providing for his family. You are stronger than you imagine and you will get through this.
it’s up to you what you do about your husband but I would not be discussing any private financial matters with his parents. Absolutely refuse to engage if they start up a conversation about it.
You are going to have to be self-sufficient going forward. It’s not fair. It shouldn’t be happening but you have to think about your children first. Good luck OP.

@Onedayaway And he may be correct to say that it takes time to build a business, and he may earn way more in the long run. But logic and common sense says, maybe not best to do it just as you are having a baby. And if that is your long term plan, then he should have spent time putting savings away to rely on while waiting for the business to take off and to have something to rely on, when work is slow and to have money in the bank to buy the materials. Worst way to start a new business, or go self employed. He has completely cooked this up. You definitely don't need this stress. Lots of people start a business on the side and work a real job while the business is been built.

I was also thinking gambling given your previous posts and especially your update op. It makes people completely selfish like any addiction.

I think right now I'd be putting yourself first. I'd think about what you need right now to get yourself through the birth of your child. My section was a wonderful experience. It's nerve wracking but the staff were really supportive and things like bringing a phone playing some music in helped me to relax if that's an option for you? Put everything else to the side right this minute - there is nothing else you need to do today other than focus on your baby everything else can wait. If you don't want him there then that's your call and noone else's. You do what's right for you to reduce your stress levels.

hope you don’t mind my asking this but, Are you a little afraid of him?

Hope everything goes well for the birth of your lovely new baby. I hope you can just get to enjoy this special time and block out his noise.

Absolutely agree !!

I hope the baby is here and you're focused on that. Afterwards, you'll need a plan to extricate yourself from being financially tied to your husband.

Respond yes I know, however good intentions do not pay the bills!!

I agree 100% - I cannot believe the selfishness & stupidity of this man-child. He ignored your advice, which was so obvious you shouldn’t even have needed to give it on the first place & he’s put you in this intolerable position, and the stress is bad for you & the baby. Can you go & stay with your parents? I’m so sorry for you both

He's literally stealing from you now.

I think you need to plan to end the marriage, personally.

So sorry for what you've been through.

It was the promise of more money soon that made me think of Gambling with no obvious method of earning it.

I’m wondering if it’s gambling.

My ex developed a gambling habit and it was awful. I had to leave in the end as with a young baby, it was no way to live.

As hard as you think it might be to leave, at the moment, you are with a man who has thrown you and your kids under the bus. Kick him out. Sign on for Universal credit (six week wait but you can get a bridging loan from them) to get some income. Do not make him a consideration anymore- he doesn’t think about you.

This is financial abuse. He will drag you down too.

This is honestly disgraceful. The least he could offer you now after putting you under so much stress at such a critical time is his honesty and respect, and he’s lied to you and treated you and your unborn child like an afterthought compared to what sounds like a pretty shit business and his pride. I only hope that today has gone as well as it can and that when you’ve safely brought your little one in the world and are feeling less vulnerable you can take action to either demand better from him or cut him out.

Small businesses fail a lot of the time due to poor cash flow. He needs to ask his client for a staged payment to finish the job. If they won't give him the payment then he needs them to order the materials to finish the job and then it's his labour that's outstanding.

His immature sulking is his paralysis because he doesn't know how to get out of the situation and if his parents have always sided with him then he's not learned skills to cope.

Unfortunately you'll end up bailing him out all his life until he manages to acknowledge his failings and does something about it. Take care.

He needs to charge more, otherwise there's no point. My brother is like this, no money sense and charges to little.

Im guessing by now you have had the surgery and are holding your new child. If not, I wanted to tell you that the one wonderful thing about a scheduled C-section was how calm everything was. The nurses were so supportive and not distracted at all. It was unlike any other surgery I have had. The whole thing felt like they had built a little bubble of protection around me from start to finish.

His ego strikes again. Again he makes a unilateral decision that impacts you. He would prefer you to default on your payments that admit that he's fucked up. He would prefer to fuck you over than look bad to someone else. Technically, its not stealing if it's a joint account be ause once it goes in there he has equal right to it. Ithink you'd be better to have all your money go into an account that he can't access because he's clearly not trust worthy.

Clutching at straws OP but if you want to share your approx location and just want someone on your side, there might be a mumsnetter nearby...

Your DP is an absolute twat, totally untrustworthy and tone deaf to your situation. He's done the worst thing he could have with that money!

So sorry to hear about your Mum too

The baby has got to come out.

You will be so focused on you and the baby that you won't even notice if anyone else is there, so ditch your partner, go have a baby, have 24-48 hours of enjoying your newborn and then read him the riot act. Get him out. Change your bank details. Hide your cards.

He's a thief.

I think you need to take a stand TBH. Surely you don’t want him with you? The nurses and medical staff will support you more if you’re on your own.

Also just STOP transferring money to him or any joint accounts. Turn the tap off. Get him to send the bill to you and you can choose whether or not to pay it. At least then you’ll know where it’s going.

You poor thing OP. Try to focus on what is important, looking forward to meeting your baby! Don't put any more thought into the bills for now, nothing terrible will happen in one month. Once you're back on your feet you can come back to that but put it aside for now. Good luck!

Sounds like he has a different reason for taking the money. Maybe gambling?

Your DM must be seriously unwell to be admitted to Hospital so quickly. My DA recently spent 48 hours on a trolley in a corridor before being admitted.

As for the OP. You'll get through it. I've given birth alone and so do many others. It might not be what you'd planned but the staff will be there and you will get through it.

Please make sure the staff are aware of what's going on too

My god, he needs to go. He is appalling. What an utter failure.

I am so sorry, OP. Have you section because once your baby is born you can heal and get this utter dud out of your life. He is a disgrace.

Honestly, I’d manage for a few months and then I’d take what’s mine and get out. Would you qualify for social housing? He’s clearly financially incompetent. If you stay with him he’ll squeeze every penny out of you and your parents and probably ruin your credit rating.

Just don’t for the love of god take out loans or support his business in your own name. Or you’ll end up with CCJs against your own name and not be able to get a mortgage for years.

In the meantime he’d be applying for jobs stacking shelves at a supermarket at weekends, going on bended knee to his boss, selling stuff or sending things back and anything else to get money in so he can complete this job.