AIBU for thinking my mum shouldn’t have comforted this child?

but anyway, I'd let it drop now..

This happened 7 months ago, so one would hope she has let it drop 🤭

There are many reasons why some children have a tantrum, some people assume they are just being naughty, some children can't handle noise above a certain level and in some situations they have a sudden meltdown maybe because they are non verbal and autistic.

I think she's probably let it drop now

Your post seems pretty clear to me.

It was clear.

i don't know about the situation though. I think you needed to be there to read body language/tone of voice etc

but anyway, I'd let it drop now..

I would have told her to mind her own business, I hate it when people fail to mind their own business, I was arguing with my father in a supermarket car park and an elderly woman passing by said "leave her alone you old bastard", I told her to mind her own business.

I mean are you really going to tell a bear stranger that no, you're not ok, and you're having a really bad day? Would that help?

But I don't think someone expressing that the situation is off in some way is really bad either.

It's one of those nobody is really wrong situations - I once had a parent ask me if I was ok when I was taking my dd into nursery, actually I wasn't ok, I was exhausted, my dd was screaming as she didn't like nursery, my older one was having to be dragged into school and it wasn't working out and I was horribly late for work and about to get into trouble.

I didn't mind being called out for being less than Mary poppins but whatever you say it generally makes a parent feel like total poo. I still remember it and avoided that parent for years after.

Otoh, mine are older now and I get it, it's unpleasant to see any child being shouted at, even when you've been there.

If I was the mum I think I'd have been really upset

I remember a time with my child where we were going through a really hard time with her behaviour. She was 6 I think.
We were in supermarket she'd just kicked or hit me. Not hard but that's not the point is it. I must have said something crossly to her. Some man said something like 'we don't all want to listen to you arguing' I can't remember the exact words but it was awful. I was teary coming out. Was having such a hard time with her (and still do now) and I felt awful

Trying to undermine her parenting is crossing the line, never mind hugging someone’s small child in the supermarket! Your mums behaviour is really strange.

Even if this mum was an absolutely terrible mother I don't see how this sort of interfering is going to help.

Not the place of OP's mum to judge and interfere otherwise though.

You think all parents are good parents and know what they are doing?
Sweet summer child.

The child was told off by his mum. Maybe it's was a bit snappy but that really isn't cause for concern

Mums are human, sometimes we get overwhelmed and snap

Why is your concern for the adult and not the child.
If the child was upset then my concern wouldn't be about embarrassing an adult

I think there’s a difference between trying to cheer up an upset child by trying to make them smile or something, and immediately comforting them after they’ve clearly been told off by their parent. Get your nose out, it undermines the parent and you have absolutely no idea of anything other than the five seconds you’ve witnessed. I’d have been pissed, classic case of a nebby old person imo

Everyone saying they'd have talked to the mum instead- how mortifying- I think we all snap a little bit sometimes but we regroup and carry on. Telling her kid to be quiet did not nearly cross the line into interference with either of them. The polite thing is to pretend you don't see/ notice unless you have genuine concerns.

I agree with you that she should have just left it. Also even if this was a terrible mum then the interference wouldn’t have helped the kid if it pissed the mum off more.

I have on occasion tried to quite awkwardly briefly verbally sooth a crying child if they're in the queue or next to me in a shop. Like something pretty weedy like 'ahh it's alright little one,' not getting close or invading their space or anything.

It's meant with kindness and just a split second reaction if you feel it might help. Usually I couple it with a supportive smile towards the mum if she's not too busy to notice. Often when they do they're relieved I'm slightly distracting the kid and sometimes they do calm down a bit.

I certainly would hope it wouldn't be seen as offensive. It's a mere few seconds of interaction.

TheBerry

I think it’s easier for people working because you have the time and you can find a way to get a conversation going eg talking about their food (oh I had these before, they’re lovely!) or saying their nails are nice or just a simple’one of those days’ sometimes! I think you did fine by not saying anything too!

Your mum should have minded her own business.
The child's mum knows her child and knows best how to handle the situation.
Had the child been ND, then your mum hugging him could have made things ten times worse.

Yeah I think I’d personally have engaged/ commiserated with the mum first THEN turned to the little boy and comforted him too.

ive been that overstimulated mum and having someone see you is a massive thing.

I probably would have said something to the mum to break the situation like ‘ kids know how to press our buttons don't they’ and ask if i can do anything to help