Bring your whole self to work

I wouldn't want to bring my whole self to work. I was hired to do a job, not talk about my problems. I go to work to forget about my problems.

Love it! They should appreciate you, warts and all.

Yes, a company I worked for years ago tried to peddle this. They clearly didn't really give a sh*t. Just wanted to continue the same output with less staff.

If only employers realised that REALLY caring about their staff would engender employee loyalty and a desire to do better to support each other. I've seen this in action in the time I was a manager. It is mostly true that if you have compassion for your staff that they will repay it in their work ethic.

Ironically, the one person who didn't do this was a friend that I had to manage. She just took advantage.

Such a lot of shite, isn’t it.

I’d be fired tomorrow if I brought my whole self to work 😂

I would be sacked in about a week if I brought my whole self to work. I just bring my phone voice & work persona

One of my team brings her whole self every day. It's exhausting as she also 'brings her two annoying/rude teens, her lazy husband, her domineering MIL, her anxious lock down dog, her bickering neighbours, her lovely Granny (she's our favourite though), her best friend who is suffering from OCD, her brother's boyfriend who she secretly fancies and her teen's head teacher who she has a run in with every week. There will be a drama concerning one or more of the above every.single.day.

“Bring your whole self to work” is the biggest load of vacuous management bullshit I have ever heard. I can assure you that no employer wants me to do that.

When I’m at work, I leave the grumpy, lazy, selfish, impatient, opinionated, sharp-tongued, intolerant of fools, anti-social aspects of my personality at the door. I then pretend to be agreeable, sociable, competent & generally house-trained until it’s time to go home.

If I brought my whole self to work, I wouldn’t last more than a few hours. And neither, I suspect, would most people.

Oh I was always told at work, don't bring your troubles into work
Not that I ever bloody did

We have a colleague that brings her whole self to work every single day, whether we want her to or not.
We wish she would leave most of her at home. The office would be a much nicer place!

I feel your pain @Porvendo

I work in a pretty touchy-feely area of my profession, but we would never do this sort of thing in the work place. I might chat about personal stuff with colleagues who are friends outside of work, but not during work time! Too many other things to be getting on with.

In my experience it tends to be those who like to sit and moan all day who do this.

@hopeishere
Oh yes we have mental health first aiders too, made up of the nosiest, most judgmental and gossipy volunteers HR could find. I cant think of a bunch of people I'd be less likely to turn to in a crisis.

Agree, and moreover I didn't want to be regaled with the tedious details of other people's private lives. I kept a wall between my private and working lives, didn't know that I was expected to take photos of my daughter's wedding to show people for example! They never knew I was becoming a grandmother until she's been born!

There's a big difference between not discriminating against employees because they are gay e.g. or unconventional in some way and pursuing some bollocks about authenticity and revealing all. People have the right to privacy and to separate their personal and working lives.

Glad to see people saying bring your professional self to work. This protects everyone, as do rules of courtesy in dealing with others in public and professionally. Hopefully this borderline coercion in asking people to breach personal boundaries at work is on its way out.

I can't understand this shit. Probably because I'm nearly 50.

As I understand it, an employer wants a job done. The employee does it and gets paid for that. Yes, it's nice to have friendly colleagues, perhaps you have shared interests or whatever. But it isn't mandatory to take part in office chat/socials or "bringing your whole self to work". You can bring your professional self as far as I am concerned. If you have a disability or difficulties with a sick family member, or other serious issues then yes, the employer needs to make adjustments. But beyond that, private life has nothing the fuck to do with employers.

Well I could bring my whole self to work as long as they're prepared to sign some kind of a waver because on their own heads be it.

I hate it. It's a way of trying to buy people's souls. I'll bring the version of myself to work that you've employed to do the job, and leave the rest at home, thanks.

"I don't feel emotionally safe to bring my whole self to work" is a good response. No one would dare challenge you

Our place is a bit like this. They have trained up a whole load of mental health "first aiders" in case someone is having a crisis. I can't imagine anything I would want to do less than speak to a colleague if I was having a mental health crisis. I

I'm a private person. I don't really want my colleagues knowing too much about my life outside work. It's none of their business. DH was really really ill a few years ago, I never told anyone in work.

It's the sort of twatty management-speak that means 'We own you, body and soul and you're not allowed a life outside work. In fact, we'd like you to work every waking hour and not to sleep much, either.'

This is why I'm a contractor and bring exactly as much of myself to work as they are paying for. Culty, weirdy woo work places are hell for permies, with forced "fun" and "bonding" and "pizza (why?)" instead of more pay. Good luck OP

Sounds like the kind of shite our HR would get on board with. Bring your whole self to work ffs. How about just come to work and do your job. Simple.

Can't stand it. My last form was like this, and don't get me started on compulsory pronouns in email footers. If you want to crack on, I don't.

I think people interpret ‘bring your whole self to work’ in different ways. Where I work, it’s not about feeling like you have to share your personal lives and problems with colleagues. It’s more about not having to feel awkward about, eg, being in a same sex relationship or being able to say when something is bothering you, or even knowing you can dress in a way that makes you feel like yourself.

When I first started working there I was in some photos that were taken of people in the office, can’t remember exactly what for but probably for marketing materials or our intranet or something. I have short hair and a large tattoo on my upper back that extends above my collar line. I said ‘Hmm, maybe we should have got the photographer to avoid taking pics of me from the back; my tattoo is really obvious in these ones’ and my boss said ‘Oh, no, it’s fine, we want people to know they can bring their whole selves to work, no need to hide tattoos or anything like that, they’re just part of who you are’.

I don't think anyone brings their whole self anywhere. My sex life is not something to share with colleagues or parents. There are many aspects of work I cannot share with anyone outside of work - most of us will be covered by aspects of client confidentiality, industrial secrets etc.

We all compartmentalise to some extent, and that's okay. Over time, I have met some colleagues' families, even been on holiday with one or two. Most people I work with on a daily basis, tend to mention their partner or children or pets or wider family at some point, but there have been others where I don't know anything much about them at all, other than they're involved in Project X and are good to ask about network issues. I don't need to know more. HR will need emergency contact details and potential death in service beneficiaries, but no one else does.

Obviously you shouldn't have to hide that you're gay, and it's recent history where being out would have got you sacked, and we might be going back that way in the USA, so it's not totally irrelevant.

A few years ago, I was on a work call, where we were getting to know the leaders. Everyone speaking was married with children. As someone who's single and childless, I did not feel it was speaking to me. I don't know how anyone gay or otherwise not entirely heteronormative felt. I did point this out to HR, as it was a call celebrating diversity, maybe they could have had some more diverse backgrounds. (They did have a load of different nationalities, to be fair.) Apparently I was unreasonable. So only bring your whole self to work if it's an approved type of whole self.